Strides for Success

Tag: stories

  • Getting Back in the Saddle: Overcoming Mental Blocks & Old Identities

    [fusebox_track_player url=”https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/pdcn.co/e/traffic.libsyn.com/dailystridespodcast/1354_Getting_Back_In_The_Saddle_Overcoming_Mental_Blocks_and_Old_Identities.mp3″ social_linkedin=”true” social_pinterest=”true” social_email=”true” permalink=”Getting Back in the Saddle; Overcoming Mental Blocks & Old Identities” ]

    Riders stop riding for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes, it’s a conscious choice; an injury, a change in circumstances, or a loss of confidence for example. Other times, life simply gets in the way. But whatever the reason, it doesn’t have to define your riding journey going forward.

    You’re maybe like many other riders, the reason that you’ve stopped was just a season of life—a temporary chapter, not the whole story. And yet, it’s easy to take that reason and make it mean something about who you are. You, intentionally or not, weave it into your entire identity, convincing yourself that you’re no longer a “real rider.”

    But here’s the truth: “The reason you stopped riding is just that—a reason, not a definition. It’s a chapter that’s now ending – not the whole story! 

    Getting back in the saddle can feel uncomfortable, even when you want it more than anything. And I’m not just talking about physical discomfort. Often the mental challenges are even more real. This can be because your mind has grown used to its old story. The one where riding is no longer a part of your life. But that story isn’t set in stone. You can rewrite it—starting today…

    Is The Reason Still Valid?

    Start with assessing if your reason for stopping riding is still something that impacts and affects your situation now. If it’s an injury, it might still do that. Or if the reason you stopped riding was to do with confidence, again, this might still be a factor that needs to be considered when thinking about coming back to riding.

    For many riders, the reason they stopped riding will not be an influential presence in their life now that they are considering returning to riding. Their situation or circumstances will have changed. 

    Suppose you are going to make riding a regular occurrence in your life again. In that case, I think that identifying the reason and then assessing if that reason is still valid are important factors to consider. This will allow you to create realistic plans for your riding going forward. And help you to avoid hitting the same roadblocks that put an end to regular riding in the past.

    Back in the Saddle; How Will You Feel?

    Start with thinking about your own energy and how your body feels when it comes to riding again. I’m going to suggest finding somewhere quiet to do this work. Where you know you won’t be interrupted and you can really become present with what’s going on in your physical body. First, just take a moment to settle in and become comfortable. From here, notice areas where you might be holding onto some tension. Intentionally release it and let it go.

    When we use energy to begin re-connecting with riding and our horse again, it’s important to figure out what energy we are bringing to the conversation to begin with.

    From this ‘neutral’ place, think about riding again. Maybe imagine your first ride, or if there is something specific you want to work towards, think about that. As you develop the thought, let your awareness come back to your body – what changes can you feel?  There are no ‘rights’ or ‘wrongs’ in this process; just you being aware of your body and any potential patterns for tension that are being held there.

    I would suggest practicing this a few times alone, without your horse initially. Notice how those thoughts feel in your body. What you find out about yourself here can be really useful when you actually work with your horse. 

    Taking This To Your Horse

    From here, set a date for this coming week to go to your horse. Obviously, if you don’t have your own horse, this may require asking someone you know and trust if you can work with their reliable, safe, and trustworthy horse. Or you may have to make an appointment at a reputable riding school. The key is to get a date and time for the coming 7 days in the books!

    Take a few minutes BEFORE you approach your horse doing some internal, personal work. Get present with your physical body. And then set an intention for the interaction as well. 

    Your intention can be as simple as ‘spend 5 minutes together just being in each other’s presence without anxiety or excess tension’. Or it could be ‘spend 15 minutes doing some fun and simple groundwork exercises together’. Getting back into the saddle after a break does not have to start and end with riding. There are lot’s of other ways to work with and connect with your horse. And if your intention is to do something specific, have the exercises planned out in advance!

    Your intention for the interaction or session with your horse will help to anchor you. Returning to it regularly during your time with your horse will help you to stay on track and move towards your bigger vision for your riding journey from this point.

    Creating Connection With Your Horse

    When you feel like you have a teammate or that you’re part of something bigger than you, it helps to keep you accountable. Being intentional about creating a solid connection with your horse is a key way you can do this for both of you; especially if you’re working alone without a regular instructor, trainer, or coach.

    By deepening your connection with your horse through energy work, you will be more likely to show up for both of you; even on days when it feels challenging to do so.

    And if you’re getting back in the saddle after a break, those days will definitely happen! Work on basic ‘syncing’ exercises together both in a smaller space such as a stable. And then in bigger areas like an arena, paddock, or round pen. Your horse wants to connect with you, it’s just up to you to be open to both feel and respond to their invitations. And keep in mind your horse is probably far more subtle than you are when communicating!

    Building The Energy Connection

    From here, you can begin to expand your intention for each interaction with your horse to suit your goals or vision for your riding going forward. Especially useful if you are getting back in the saddle after a break. Maybe it will be to mount up and walk for 15 minutes. Or to work on the lunge together in a responsive and rhythmic way for 15 minutes.

    The key is to use the initial connections to really begin rewiring the old identity that you’ve built for yourself around riding and being a ‘rider’. Begin creating a new story for your mind to believe about you as an equestrian

    This new identity will allow you to accept that, yes, you did take time away from riding for a specific period of your life. But that was then and this is now. You are now moving towards building something new with your horse. Together. A team that is there to support each other and help each other be accountable.

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

    The Energy Connection Webinar

    If you want to go deeper with this for you and your horse, register for my upcoming free live training on how you can use your presence and energy to move both you and your horse from tension to trust.

    This is a great, practical training you can use to help you get back in the saddle after a break. I will give you 3 specific exercises you can use the next time you’re with your horse to connect with him or her on a deeper level.

    You can find all of the details about The Energy Connection Webinar HERE at https://stridesforsuccess.com/energy 

    More on This Topic:-

    Online Training to Help Your Riding

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  • Confidence, Building it from the Ground Up

    Confidence, Building it from the Ground Up

    Confidence, Building it from the Ground Up

    What this episode is all about & how it can help you:-

    • It is your journey – so it can be what you want it to be
    • Find your confidence ‘reset point’ and stick to it for a while
    • Becoming confident in being a little uncomfortable
    • Consistency, Support and Stories…

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    Does the thought of getting into the saddle fill you with a sense of anxiety and dread?  Yet you really want to be able to ride your horse in a way that gives you a sense of enjoyment?

    This is the ‘catch 22’ faced by a lot of riders.  The trouble is, even though there are so many riders feeling this way, it is a very lonely place to be on your riding journey. This episode of the Daily Strides Podcast is the episode for you.  My hope is that, after listening, you will feel more confident about thinking about the journey back into the saddle and anxiety free riding.

    Why This is an Important Topic

    I regularly get emails from riders, all over the world, asking me what they can do to get back into the saddle. This in part comes from the fact that I created the 30 Day Rider Fitness Challenge.  A lot of riders take the challenge because they hope that by feeling fitter, it will actually grow their confidence.  I do believe that while fitness is definitely part of building confidence, it is not the full story.

    It is important that you understand as a rider, that you can never really control the horse.  You can influence the horse. The only thing you can truly learn to control is yourself. 

    If you can learn to have more control over yourself, you can learn to have better influence over your horse.

    Today I want to start from the ground, and work up from there. This is where I suggest that any rider who is in this particular situation should start.

    This is Your Journey

    Make it exactly what you want it to be.  Not what other people want you to make it.  Very often when a rider is feeling anxiety, or pressure, some of it is coming from outside forces. Simple questions like; “But you have a horse, why don’t you ride?” or “But you used to do all of this, why aren’t you doing it anymore?” or “It’s simple, it’s easy, just do it, get over yourself!”

    Those questions are probably coming from a good place. They might be coming to you with the greatest of intentions.  But they are not helping you.  At all.

    The first part of building confidence is realising that your journey with horses is just that – YOUR journey.

    The reason you want to include horses in your life is because it probably makes you feel good. However, if you are feeling anxiety, stress and all of these negative feelings, well, they are the exact opposite of good.

    Stop.  Hit the re-set button. Choose what you want.  And feel good about it because, again, it is your journey and you can make it whatever you want it to be.

    Finding Your Confidence Re-Set Point

    Find the place where there is no anxiety, and stick there for a while.  I know that is not always the fun or exciting thing to do.  In fact, it is probably not what you want to hear at all…  However, I really believe that this is the only long-term way of actually getting yourself to a place where you can enjoy horses again.

    Your ‘place’ could, for example, be just talking to your horse over the paddock fence.   It could be talking to your horse in the stable.   It could be taking your horse with a head collar and lead rope for a walk.   It could be having someone lead you on your horse.

    It doesn’t matter what or where it is.  Remember, this is your journey. I want you to find the place where you don’t have anxiety, and I want you to settle in there and get used to it. Every time you see a horse, or see something on Facebook about horses, or you are looking at pictures of horses – I want you to think about this place with no anxiety.

    It is going to take time, and it is going to take commitment on your part, because you are consciously going to have to find ways that are going to make you think about that ‘happy place’ with your horse.  However, it is well worth the ‘mental conditioning’!

    Becoming Confident in Feeling a Little Uncomfortable

    Once you are there, and only when you are there in your place where you don’t feel the anxiety anymore, you can think about growing.  Start to become a little more confident by becoming a little bit more uncomfortable.

    Uncomfortable for you might be having somebody lead you on your horse.   It might be going for a 5 minute ride in walk, in a lunge ring.   It could be getting into a 20 x 40 meter fenced arena and going for a trot. It doesn’t matter what it is – it’s about what it is to you.

    What is important is that at any point, you know that you can go back to the ‘comfort zone’, but you are going to challenge yourself.

    Because you know how comfortable the ‘comfort zone’ is, and because you feel so safe and secure there, you can then stretch things a little, and push yourself into the uncomfortable part.

    You will start noticing how the uncomfortable part begins to feel comfortable. And that is it – slow and steady. You don’t move out of that uncomfortable zone, until that uncomfortable zone begins to feel comfortable. In this way, your ‘comfort zone’ is expanded and bit by bit, you can move forward.

    Confidence, Consistency and Stories…

    In the beginning, this takes time. But you will find that once you start to get the little ‘win’, and then the next little ‘win’, things will start to gain momentum.  The discomfort dissipates quicker and quicker each time.

    As you start to feel more confident about your own abilities, you see that perhaps the story you were telling yourself, wasn’t the truth. And even if that story was the truth at that time, it is not the truth anymore because you have changed as a person.

    You have changed on the inside, and you have re-set what was making you feel anxious and tense. Simply put, because you have changed, you have to now change your story to match this new you.

    You must change what you are telling yourself, what you are telling people and, importantly, what you are allowing people to tell you.

    Finding the Right Support

    All of this takes time.  Which is the frustrating part for many riders.  You can speed the process up however, if you find the right support.  Support in the form of a knowledgeable person whom you trust. Somebody who will stay with you and allow you this time.  Not the person who says one thing and then without warning, proceeds to unhook you and leave you high and dry!

    A trustworthy, sympathetic and compassionate person who is also going to ground you back into reality. A person who, when your story is a little ‘muddled’, you can rather listen to theirs for that moment.  Just until you feel relaxed again. 

    I wish you all the best with this.   Know that it can be done!  All it takes is that you get clear on what you want – not what people want for you. Then start today to take those small steps towards confident riding again. You can do this!!

    Happy Riding

    Lorna

    Links mentioned in the episode:-