Building a Connection with Your Horse

As a rider, I bet that part of what you love about being an equestrian is the bond that you have with your horse. However, this bond, for many riders, takes time to develop and strengthen.

This is because building a connection with your horse takes more than just time in the saddle. It requires attention. As well as understanding, patience, and a deep respect for the unique partnership you’re creating.

In this episode of the Daily Strides Podcast, I want to give you some practical steps you can use to strengthen the connection with your horse. I think that the beginning of building a connection with your horse starts with understanding your own expectations. From there, you can begin to create a clearer plan for deepening the bond.

1. Understanding Your Expectations First

It seems like such a cliché, however in order to really understand your horse, you must first get to know yourself better. When you can take a step back and assess your own expectations, it allows you to become much clearer about what you’re truly looking for when it comes to your connection with your horse. .

What do you hope to achieve with your horse? Is your focus on competitive performance, building a trusting partnership, or simply enjoying your time together? Every ‘goal’ or desire will require a different approach.

As we know, horses are incredibly intuitive animals. And they often respond to the energy and emotions we bring into our interactions. In fact, many of the ‘issues’ or challenges we come across with our horses can actually be traced back to this.

Before you begin each interaction with your horse, take the time to first become self-aware about how you’re feeling and what thoughts, emotions, and beliefs you’re bringing to the conversation.

I find that setting a clear intention for each interaction helps to keep things on track. Use your intention throughout each session to keep you present and focused on your horse.

2. Trust Through Consistency

Once you’re clear on your expectations, your horse can also begin to trust and rely on what he can expect when you’re working with him. This builds trust. Trust is the foundation of any strong relationship, and it’s no different with your horse. Horses are creatures of habit, and they thrive on routine and consistency. So by becoming intentional about developing consistent aids or a consistent riding schedule, you will build your horse’s trust in you.

Simple, consistent actions—like grooming, leading, and even how you tack up—can have a huge impact. Your horse will start to feel secure in knowing what to expect, which leads to a more relaxed and willing partner.

3. Your Horse’s Feedback

Connection is a two-way street. Just as you have expectations, your horse has their own way of communicating what they need or feel. When you’re open and attentive to your horse’s feedback, you are able to make the small tweaks in your approach that make all the difference. These can be physical cues like ear position, tail movement, or changes in gait, but can also show up as resistance, behavioral issues, or a reluctance to engage.

Horse riding is a team sport. Part of that means that it’s your responsibility to listen when your horse is trying to tell you something and then respond accordingly. Knowing that he’s being heard builds trust.

4. Ground Work

Groundwork is absolutely essential when we are working with and training horses. There are always things to be done before you mount up and then after you dismount. However, so many riders only want to focus on their connection in the saddle; the irony is that groundwork will actually improve that as well. So, whether you’re leading your horse, lunging, or practicing liberty exercises, once you and your horse are aware of the other presence, the conversation has begun.

Become intentional with your body language. When you listen to your horse’s feedback, you can improve your aids immediately through tweaking your body language. Groundwork also helps to earn your horse’s trust and encourages him to respect your leadership

Groundwork also helps to clarify expectations, explain and reinforce boundaries, and learn how to communicate using slight, subtle cues. Many of which you can then take into the saddle with you.

5. Consistency, Patience, & Time

Finally, while immediate ‘ah-ha’ moments will happen and are possible, building a connection with your horse will take time. It’s rarely a ‘one and done’ thing! Practice patience… Especially when approaching something new and different. Just like you, your horse needs time to grow in trust and understanding. If you rush the process, you may end up with a horse that feels stressed or disconnected from you.

Take the time to enjoy the journey. Be present for each ride, groundwork session, and interaction with your horse. And extend your patience to yourself as well. You and your horse are learning and growing together.