Strides for Success

Tag: partnership

  • Building a Connection with Your Horse

    Building a Connection with Your Horse

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    As a rider, I bet that part of what you love about being an equestrian is the bond that you have with your horse. However, this bond, for many riders, takes time to develop and strengthen.

    This is because building a connection with your horse takes more than just time in the saddle. It requires attention. As well as understanding, patience, and a deep respect for the unique partnership you’re creating.

    In this episode of the Daily Strides Podcast, I want to give you some practical steps you can use to strengthen the connection with your horse.  I think that the beginning of building a connection with your horse starts with understanding your own expectations. From there, you can begin to create a clearer plan for deepening the bond.

    1. Understanding Your Expectations First

    It seems like such a cliché, however in order to really understand your horse, you must first get to know yourself better. When you can take a step back and assess your own expectations, it allows you to become much clearer about what you’re truly looking for when it comes to your connection with your horse. .

    What do you hope to achieve with your horse? Is your focus on competitive performance, building a trusting partnership, or simply enjoying your time together? Every ‘goal’ or desire will require a different approach.

    As we know, horses are incredibly intuitive animals. And they often respond to the energy and emotions we bring into our interactions. In fact, many of the ‘issues’ or challenges we come across with our horses can actually be traced back to this.

    Before you begin each interaction with your horse, take the time to first become self-aware about how you’re feeling and what thoughts, emotions, and beliefs you’re bringing to the conversation. 

    I find that setting a clear intention for each interaction helps to keep things on track. Use your intention throughout each session to keep you present and focused on your horse.

    2. Trust Through Consistency

    Once you’re clear on your expectations, your horse can also begin to trust and rely on what he can expect when you’re working with him. This builds trust. Trust is the foundation of any strong relationship, and it’s no different with your horse. Horses are creatures of habit, and they thrive on routine and consistency. So by becoming intentional about developing consistent aids or a consistent riding schedule, you will build your horse’s trust in you.

    Simple, consistent actions—like grooming, leading, and even how you tack up—can have a huge impact. Your horse will start to feel secure in knowing what to expect, which leads to a more relaxed and willing partner.

    3. Your Horse’s Feedback

    Connection is a two-way street. Just as you have expectations, your horse has their own way of communicating what they need or feel. When you’re open and attentive to your horse’s feedback, you are able to make the small tweaks in your approach that make all the difference. These can be physical cues like ear position, tail movement, or changes in gait, but can also show up as resistance, behavioral issues, or a reluctance to engage.

    Horse riding is a team sport. Part of that means that it’s your responsibility to listen when your horse is trying to tell you something and then respond accordingly. Knowing that he’s being heard builds trust. 

    4. Ground Work

    Groundwork is absolutely essential when we are working with and training horses. There are always things to be done before you mount up and then after you dismount. However, so many riders only want to focus on their connection in the saddle; the irony is that groundwork will actually improve that as well. So, whether you’re leading your horse, lunging, or practicing liberty exercises, once you and your horse are aware of the other presence, the conversation has begun.

    Become intentional with your body language. When you listen to your horse’s feedback, you can improve your aids immediately through tweaking your body language.  Groundwork also helps to earn your horse’s trust and encourages him to respect your leadership

    Groundwork also helps to clarify expectations, explain and reinforce boundaries, and learn how to communicate using slight, subtle cues. Many of which you can then take into the saddle with you. 

    5. Consistency, Patience,  & Time

    Finally, while immediate ‘ah-ha’ moments will happen and are possible, building a connection with your horse will take time. It’s rarely a ‘one and done’ thing! Practice patience… Especially when approaching something new and different. Just like you, your horse needs time to grow in trust and understanding. If you rush the process, you may end up with a horse that feels stressed or disconnected from you.

    Take the time to enjoy the journey. Be present for each ride, groundwork session, and interaction with your horse. And extend your patience to yourself as well. You and your horse are learning and growing together.

    Building a Connection with Your Horse

    For many riders, building a strong connection with your horse is the most fulfilling aspect of being an equestrian. If you have not invested time and focus into doing this, I strongly suggest that you begin today.  I will link to other groundwork posts below this article. And you can also check out the Connection Partnership Program to help you with this.

    You and your horse will only train to the level that you trust each other. Begin taking time today to build and grow your connection with your horse in a meaningful way and experience the changes in your well-being, and in your riding and training.

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

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  • Fear and Horse Riding

    Fear and Horse Riding

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    Has fear or lack of confidence ever held you back in your riding? If so, you will know how debilitating this can be.  Sometimes it’s caused by a past experience. Or it can be created when we think of all the things that ‘can’ potentially happen.
    Whatever the cause, I think that it is important to recognize that this particular challenge won’t simply vanish on its own.  Sure, sometimes it can seem like it has shifted or even disappeared.  But more often than not, it is simply buried and will rear its unwanted head again as soon as there is even a whiff of ‘danger’ or ‘warning’ in the air.
    I am a firm believer that confidence is something that we build over time.  Couple time with consistent repetition, self-awareness, and taking the correct action and there’s a good chance that you can overcome the fear and begin thriving again in your horse riding.

    What Are You Afraid Of?

    I think that it is important to actually name what you’re worried about in order to begin the work of changing your thoughts around it.  There is a big difference between “I’m afraid to ride” and “I’m worried my horse will spook, spin, and dump me on the ground so hard that I break something”.
    Often when we actually speak about the exact thing that we fear when it comes to our riding, we can begin to dismantle that fear in our minds
    If we take the second statement mentioned above, there are a few key areas we can begin to work on BEFORE we ever even consider hopping into the saddle. “I’m worried my horse will spook, spin, and dump me on the ground so hard that I break something”.
        1. Remind yourself that your horse, usually, doesn’t want to ‘dump you’ on the ground; especially in this particular situation
        2. What specific triggers have you noticed that your horse has reacted this way too?
        3. How can you avoid these triggers?
        4. What can you do to actually develop your horse’s confidence in himself?
        5. Is there a way you can develop your horse’s confidence in you more?
        6. Where can you ride that the chances of this happening are less?
        7. What can you do to potentially limit the severity of the fall, if it were to happen?
    When we really begin to look at the fear we have, we can also begin to approach it from a different perspective – one of curiosity.

    What Can You Control?

    Now, for years I have been preaching that the only thing you can control when it comes to riding is yourself.  However, this is not really true for this particular situation.  Firstly, when your mind is telling you terrible stories, often all sense of self-control flies out the window!
    And, secondly, I believe that there are actually external factors you can control in order to logically lessen the risks involved with riding.  It’s just that we sometimes overlook these things because we are so caught up in the ‘fear’ itself.
    You can work towards controlling things like:-
        • The time of day you ride (this often has an impact on the energy levels of both horse and rider, as well as external factors like traffic, bystanders, other horses in the arena, etc.)
        • Who you are riding with
        • Where you ride
        • What feed your horse is receiving
        • How balanced and coordinated you are
        • Creating planned responses instead of fear-based reactions
    You can also begin to develop a greater influence over things like:-
        • How fit or fresh your horse is
        • The thoughts in your head…
        • How fit and supple you are
        • Increasing the trust and partnership of your relationship with your horse
        • Developing your horse’s confidence in himself
    The key here is to actively decide to change things and then create a plan of action in order to make it happen.  Wishing, hoping, and praying won’t work in this situation!

    Maybe Don’t ‘Just Do It’…

    Now, up until this point, we have been doing the ‘thinking’ work. And while this is both important and necessary, there comes a time when action is needed. A lot of trainers and coaches will force riders to ‘just do it’. And, to be fair, this often does work in the actual moment. It also can sometimes actually be the exact thing that is needed to unmask the fear forever for the rider.
    The issue I have with the ‘just do it’ approach is that while you may get a quick win under your belt, often the underlying cause has not been resolved; and will come up again when pressure is applied!
    Pressure, in this situation, is anything that causes you or your horse to experience a little emotional or physical discomfort. It’s usually emotional. Maybe a spook for your horse. Or a lack of time for you. These are the exact moments when you don’t want to experience fear!

    What’s Comfortable Now?

    Start by figuring out where you and your horse both feel good and relaxed right now when you’re together. This could be riding together inside of an enclosed space, like an arena. However, it could also be dismounted, on the ground, with a door or a gate between you and your horse!
    It makes absolutely no difference what this is for you both now. What is important is to find that point in the conversation together where everyone feels relaxed, at ease, and enjoying the moment.
    Now, rather than mindlessly allowing these moments of true enjoyment and relaxation to simply pass, begin paying attention to how you ‘are’ in these moments.
    When you can begin to define truly what ‘relaxed and at ease’ is for you and your horse, you will begin to more easily recognize leaving that ‘comfortable’ space. And, how it feels to return to it.

    Building Confidence and Easing Fear

    So, with this point in mind, begin thinking about how you could intentionally plan to make things a little more mentally uncomfortable for you and your horse. What could you actually plan and make happen that would intentionally make you feel discomfort? It sounds bizarre, but this is truly the key to gaining confidence and overcoming fear.
    The key to planning this work BEFORE you actually do it is that you will create ‘pressure’ circumstances that can easily and quickly be reversed.
    Meaning that you can turn it on and then when you choose to, switch it off. Sounds so simple! But we can do this in our riding as well. Maybe it is walking for 20 meters with someone leading you out of the arena and back to the stables. It could be standing beside your horse holding the lead rope, with the door or gate open.
    The goal is to create a situation where you will feel that mental discomfort and commit to staying in it for 20 or 30 seconds. Then, calmly returning back to the ‘comfort zone’ and ‘safety’ again.

    Consistency, Repetition, Awareness, & Action

    Doing this once or twice won’t be enough to ‘reset’ your comfort zone. This work needs to happen consistently in order to be effective. The good news is that, over time, you will find the discomfort getting less and less.
    When the previously uncomfortable piece feels relaxed and easy, it is time to expand the ‘zone’ further. Find the next action that will build on the previous one and start the work again.
    By doing this over and over, both you and your horse will develop confidence in your own abilities. You will also begin to trust each other more, which will strengthen the partnership.
    Unfortunately, there are no quick fixes to overcome fear and develop confidence. And yet, the time invested in doing the work can yield so much more for you in your riding… It is well worth the investment.
    Happy Riding
    Lorna

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  • Stop Trying to Control Your Horse!

    Stop Trying to Control Your Horse!

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    For years, I was all about control when it came to horses.  I wanted to understand how to control them better, and how I could help riders do this… Until, one day, I realized I was working under a false pretense! You see, I figured something out.  It was like an ‘oh wow’ moment.

    There is no way to control a horse – or at least a way to do this that encourages the development and training of horse and rider.

    And I really and truly believe that if more riders could understand this, they can make progress far more quickly. And enjoy the whole training journey a whole lot more as well…  In this episode of the Daily Strides Podcast, I am diving into all of the reasons that trying to control your horse is actually holding you both back from doing more in your work together.

    Why You Cannot Control Your Horse

    I realize that horse riding is essentially the act of us, the riders, getting onto our horse’s backs and having them do what we want them to do.  We can debate this all day long, but this is the long and the short of it!  However, it is also really important to remember three things:-

          1. We must ‘ASK’ our horses to do whatever it is we want them to do
          2. Our horse must UNDERSTAND what we are asking
          3. Our horse must actually ‘WANT’ to do it…

    If either of those three elements is missing, things can come undone very quickly!  Now, I am going to make an assumption here that you are a conscientious, caring, and compassionate equestrian, who is not into forcing your horse (whips, ropes, and all other methods) to do things against their will…

    Your horse has a mind of his own that you can never control. So, it makes sense to stop trying – and rather focus your efforts on controlling what you can, so that you can have a more positive influence over your horse…

    What You Can Control

    In order to increase your positive influence, you can work on controlling the one thing you can do; yourself.  Unfortunately, this is often easier said than done! For many novice riders, the challenge is physical.  Coordinating your aids and developing independence can feel exhausting in the early days of riding.  And, for more advanced riders, it becomes a real mind game.

    Being able to identify thoughts and beliefs that are limiting your progress in the saddle is a skill riders must work on developing if they want to do more and go further in their riding. 

    One of the best ways I have found to do this is to have a riding journal ready after each ride or session with your horse.  As soon as you dismount and have looked after your horse, begin writing things down.  This way, over time, you will begin to see patterns.

    Couple this with some form of exercise that will complement your riding and develop strength and fitness.  Hiking, cycling, swimming, strength training, yoga, pilates… Whatever takes your fancy really!  I suggest doing something you enjoy, and then if you find that you are needing further work in a specific area, going deeper then.

    The only way you can develop your skills as a rider is to develop yourself. And doing this is the way to then helping your horse to do the same as well. 

    Where to Focus Your Attention

    From here, instead of each ride being about how well you can control your horse, change the focus.  Think about how well you can set your horse up for success. How well can you plan what you want him to do, and then communicate that to him in a way he understands and is happy to try?

    When you work on setting things up, rather than controlling everything, you give your horse the opportunity to begin really being a partner in your work together. Rather than a robot. 

    And this leads to horses who can think for themselves in a safe, calm, and effective way.  Remember, you won’t get it right 100% of the time.  And when you do find yourself in one of those ‘sticky’ situations, it is always good to know that your horse can figure it out and get you both out of it.  Phew! But this is a skill you MUST allow him to develop.  And you can only do this by stopping trying to control your horse all of the time!

    Allowing for Mistakes (lots of them)

    One of the ways we learn is by making mistakes.  We realize the mistake and find a different way to do the thing that produces a different outcome.  Your horse is similar.  He also learns by making mistakes.  And yet, as riders, this can be something we dread to allow to happen!  But it simply MUST.

    One of your responsibilities as a trainer for your horse is to allow room for him to make mistakes. Allow, notice, and then simply correct.  Then allow again…

    It is rare to see a toddler simply stand up and walk on their first attempt.  They must attempt walking a lot before they get it right. Each attempt will result in wobbles, or loss of balance, and usually, falling down.  However, we accept this as par for the course because they are learning something new. So let’s begin to gift both ourselves and our horses with the same level of grace, compassion, and understanding.

    See each mistake your horse makes as an opportunity for him to grow and develop. Then, simply make the correction in a calm, timely manner – and forget about it. 

    Using Correction to Develop Responsibility

    When you correct your horse but continue to remember the mistake, you will end up trying to control your horse. This irrational fear of him making the same mistake again will dampen out everything else in your ride together… And erode your horse’s confidence.

    Your horse’s confidence will grow in his own abilities if you simply correct each mistake, and then move on! This means allowing him to make the same mistake over, and over until he gets it right. All without judgment or holding a grudge! 

    Trust me, when you leave behind trying to control your horse, and embrace becoming more of a positive influence on your horse, your riding will transform.

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

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  • 5 Ways to Have Fun with Your Horse This Month

    5 Ways to Have Fun with Your Horse This Month

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    Fun can mean lots of different things to lots of different riders.  And your idea of what is really fun can change as you develop and grow as a rider.  I always encourage my riders to be intentional about including fun stuff in their plan or schedule with their horses.

    So, as you plan out your weekly riding, see where you can include one or two activities that you are including with the simple intention of having fun and enjoying the time with your horse. 

    Now, again, notice how what may have been fun when you rode horses as a teenager, might not be as much fun anymore. Pay attention to your day-to-day activities with your horse.  Anywhere you notice you are really just ‘having fun’, go deeper and see where it takes you.

    1 .  Groundwork

    2 . Natural Horsemanship

    3 . Grooming

    4 .  Relaxing together

    5 . Trails or Hacking

    Now, obviously, these are just a few ideas to get you started.  I have a more comprehensive list HERE where I explain how to being including fun in your riding as well. 

    What I would love to hear from you is how you are planning on intentionally including fun into your riding this week.

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

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  • Overcoming Resistance in Your Horse While Riding

    Overcoming Resistance in Your Horse While Riding

    Overcoming Resistance While Riding

    What this episode is all about & how it can help you:-

    • Understand what resistance is in your horse
    • Start with taking steps back to simple
    • Realise the importance of rewarding every little positive element
    • Know how far to take each ride

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    Most riders have been there, some more regularly than others… You are mounted up, in the arena with your horse.  Your plans are all laid out in your head for the upcoming schooling session or ride.  And you are feeling positive and ready to get it done.

    However, you sense that your horse is, well, not feeling the same way.  In fact, you get the distinct feeling that he would much rather be somewhere else, doing something else.  It’s not that he is being naughty, but rather uninterested and there is definitely resistance to what you are asking.

    In this episode of the Daily Strides Podcast I want to chat about how, very often, when this happens ‘pushing on through’ is not the best way of approaching your horse.  I want to give you some other ideas that can get you both back on the same page with your focus and your work.

    What is Resistance in Your Horse?

    Recently I was in the arena preparing to start work with a specific horse and her rider.  The rider had a specific focus that she wanted to work on for that schooling session.  However, it was pretty evident that her horse had other ideas.

    The horse wasn’t bucking or even being ‘naughty’ however, she was moving and, it looked like, thinking in a way that showed she wasn’t the least bit interested in being in that arena with us.

    There was a certain tension and resistance which was obvious throughout her body.  She lacked ‘softness’ and also focus with regards to her work.

    Often when we think of ‘resistance’ in horses, we jump to the extreme end of a whole host of ways our horses can show resistance.  This horse was more ‘meh’.  Almost like a disengaged teenager!

    “I’ll do what you want but I will let you know every step of the way that I don’t want to be here and I don’t want to do this at all…”

    If you have ever been there, you will understand how frustrating it can be for the rider.  Maybe you would agree that it is even more so than if your horse resisted outright with bucks and highland flings!  Pushing on through it rarely produces an outcome both horse and rider can be proud of and yet, the work has to get done.

    So How Can You Begin Turning this Level of Resistance Around?

    First and foremost, I feel it is important to figure out why this is happening.  Perhaps it is feeding time for your horse?  Or maybe your horse becoming a little sour working in the arena?  In the example I am using today, it was non of the above.  The horse was just having a ‘off day’.  Maybe she didn’t get enough sleep the night before; who knows!

    What is certain is the fact that the more the rider pushes and forces the horse to work with them, the more the resistance the horse is going to express to the rider. 

    Start with Taking Things Back to Simple

    Begin by finding something you can do together that is a simpler or easier version of what you really set out to achieve that day in the saddle.  Something that doesn’t require too much effort from either of you and that you can both enjoy.

    In the case of the horse and rider I was working with that day, I suggested they take it back to walk and begin working on simple loops in the walk.  The focus was on suppleness.  Lots and lots of small loops.  Constantly changing direction.  All the while keeping the focus on forwardness and suppleness.

    Within a few loops I could see a change in the horse.  A “hmmmm…. This is different to what we were doing before”.  With that change in thinking came a change in how the horse was ‘going’.  A softness began to emerge.

    Suppleness requires softness, one cannot really happen without the other.  What I also saw was that the rider was relaxing more.  There was less tension, which I imagine was an initial result of feeling a little frustrated.

    As both horse and rider began to align more with each other, the work improved.  Literally every loop began to look (and I would imagine feel) more natural and ‘together’. 

    Reward Every Positive Movement

    The other thing I had suggested to the rider was to reward every single positive step or movement in the right direction from the horse.

    I find this works in two ways; the rider begins to look for positive outcomes (rather than focusing on the negative) and the horse genuinely enjoys being praised by the rider and will look for ways to make it happen. 

    Horses, for the most part do try to please those they respect.  Whether that be other horses, people on the ground or their rider.   Looking for small things you can praise or reward will lead to larger things.

    You literally need to begin looking for every ‘thought’ your horse has that is moving him in the direction you want to move him in

    Reintroducing What You Were Initially Working On

    Once this softness was there and it was obvious both horse and rider were now keen and interested in what was going on, I suggested reintroducing the original exercise.

    I could see that the horse was open to working with the rider AND that the rider was far softer in their approach to the exercise now. 

    The communication and conversation had opened up again between horse and rider.  I think when this happens it changes how the rider actually rides as well.  The rider feels as though they have achieved a ‘win’ in the saddle.

    It might not be the ‘win’ they initially set out to get for that ride, however knowing that you worked through something and turned a situation around is sometimes a bigger win.

    Knowing How Far to Take Each Ride

    So once you can feel your horse is back working with you, rather than resisting against you, you can make a decision on what to do going forward.  Should you return to the original exercise and try again? Or should you clock this ride up to experience and end it on the high note you are currently experiencing?

    I think it depends on your unique situation.  How much ground have you covered?  Is it essential for you and your horse to work on that original exercise?  Or is this new positive layer to your relationship together enough for this ride?

    In the case of this horse and rider, I suggested they call it a day at this point.  The horse is a young horse and I felt that the lesson they had worked through together for that session was a really beneficial one going forward for both of them.

    However, if it had have been a more experienced horse, or perhaps a horse that had an upcoming event or similar to work towards; that may have been a different call.

    It is important to judge each situation on the day and think about the long-term.  Just getting your horse back on the same page as you is a great win for that day…

    A Long Term ‘Win’ or Stepping Stone

    If you do manage to reestablishing the conversation between horse and rider, you will have really created a positive stepping stone in your journey together.  It is a huge win.

    Building the relationship with your horse, on confidence and trust, is such an important element to a successful riding partnership.

    Some days you will make it happen and add another layer to your strong foundation.  However, it is equally as important to keep in mind that there may just be other days where things, regardless of what you do, don’t go to plan.

    That is the beauty and the challenge of horse riding.  Two separate minds, you and your horse, each with different ideas having to come together and agree to work towards a single goal or outcome.

    Happy Riding

    Lorna

    I am hosting a free live online training on “Understanding True Relaxation in Your Riding” and I would love for you to join me there…  If you’re interested, you can register for your seat by CLICKING HERE

    Click HERE to register for the free online training

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