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  • You Can’t Control Your Horse – But You Can Influence

    You Can’t Control Your Horse – But You Can Influence

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    You pick up trot and feel your horse getting a little quick. You can feel a speed wobble coming! So you shorten the reins, maybe squeeze a tad more, hold a little, fix a little, manage a little more… And before you know it, you’re trying to control every second of the ride. Sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone! And, as you probaly know, it’s usually a good feeling to help someone…

    As riders, the temptation is very real to be consistent when helping your horse. But what if all of your help is actually hindering your horse’s training and progress?

    And what would happen if you began to take a step back and see your ‘help’ for what it really is – a need for absolute control!  But, you see, control – when it comes to horses in training and being ridden – is a pipe dream! It is not possible because your horse has a mind of its own, with thoughts that produce emotions and feelings of its own. So, how about we begin calling out this need for absolute control in a way that will actually help you and your horse…

    Instead of micro-managing every little nuance, what if you trusted your horse enough to begin allowing them to take responsibility for their role in your work together? 

    In this episode, I want to help you begin to identify where you may be trying too hard to control. And I will give you some concrete starting points to begin relinquishing the idea of ‘control’, and strengthening your ability to positively influence. Let’s dive in…

    Why Do We Control?

    So before we go any further, let’s chat a little about control and what it can mean for you and your horse. Control can look different depending on where the desire for it is coming from. If you are very fearful, how you will try to ‘control’ your horse will look vastly different to if you are fiercely competitive and want everything ‘perfect’.

    But the key point I want to make here is that we rarely ever actually realise that control is our desired outcome… So often we tell ourselves a different story that sounds better to ourselves and others. 

    I have to support him when he’s training to help keep him going forward. Or I need to protect him from hurting himself or another horse! He struggles to maintain in the canter, so I have to help him. All of these can be true – but are they really? Or is it an absolute need and desire to ‘control’ more about keeping your own brain and mind feeling regulated?! And that is often the key point…

    Control is sometimes more about helping us to feel better in the short term than it is about helping our horses to develop, strengthen, and grow in the longer term – and can completely stop this from happening!

    What Don’t You Trust?

    A few years ago now, I listened to an audiobook that has nothing at all to do with horses, but led me to a big ‘aha’ moment. In the book, Untamed by Glennon Doyle, what really struck me was this one quote:-

    We Only Control What We Don’t Trust – Glennon Doyle (Untamed)

    And I thought – YES! That is exactly it. From years and years of working with riders, it is the lack of trust that seems to lead to this endless desire to control. Some riders don’t trust themselves. They have little to no confidence or faith in their own abilities, and so never really leave the safety of their comfort zone. Other riders don’t trust their horse. And this can come from both a fear (my horse might throw me off) mindset, or a training (my horse can’t do this, so I’ll help him) mindset.

    So, next time you feel the need to control something when working with your horse, instead ask yourself, “What am I not trusting right now?”.

          • Do I not trust my horse to stay balanced?
          • Do I not trust my aids to be clear or coordinated enough?
          • Do I not trust myself to handle it if things go sideways?
          • Do I not trust the process enough to allow for the ‘messy middle’ while learning happens?

    I think one of the biggest breakthroughs you can have in your training and riding is to begin naming what you’re not trusting – and then digging deeper into ‘why’ that is so…

    What Can You Control?

    Now, I am not saying that you simply leave it all up to chance and hack on. We’re talking about working with animals who often outweigh us 10 to 1! But, if you can’t control your horse, what can you control? The answer is you. You are the only thing that you can have any hope of controlling. And, for many riders, that can seem like an impossible task!

    Your thoughts, your emotions, and your actions. They are all, potentially, within the realm of your control – but as riders, we also know that this can be easier said than done! 

    This is why I really do believe that checking yourself at the gate is so important for riders. Before you ever greet your horse, I highly suggest having a quiet moment with yourself just to see how things are. A little personal ‘check in’. And then, from there, some intentional grounding and self-awareness work. I am not suggesting long rituals or meditations. Just a few seconds to yourself so that you can see how you’re about to show up. The more you practice this, the quicker and easier it will become.

    And when you then approach your horse from this more grounded, self-aware place, the chances are that you will actually have more success in controlling the things you can:-

          • your preparation
          • your awareness
          • your intention
          • your timing
          • your emotional state
          • your body
          • your response

    Working Towards Influence…

    So, let’s flip this concept of ‘control’ for a moment. What if, instead of constantly trying to micro-manage every little movement and every single second, you began looking for ways to have a more positive influence? What if you swapped the need to control with a desire to guide or shape the outcome to a more positive one? Without you having to do all of the work.

    Deciding to relinquish the need to ‘control’ and rather committing to being a positive influence requires a certain level of trust. Trust that those you want to influence have the right foundation in place so that they decide to follow your lead. 

    It’s a bit like deciding that you’re happy with free will – and then meeting your horse at that place. Now, we can talk all day about ‘the right foundation’. I do think that so much of this comes from the rider or whoever has been working with the horse. What has been ‘allowed’ (or not), and what is being ‘mirrored’. And, it is when we commit to becoming a more positive influence, I believe, we can then begin to really build and strengthen our horses – physically, mentally, and emotionally.

    Control and the Lunge

    Lunging is such an interesting place to explore this! Even to this day, I can remember how it felt to want to control everything when lunging my horses. If they cantered a little too enthusiastically, my desire to ‘control’ would kick in – and I would 100% react instead of respond. I’ll be the first to put my hand up and tell you that it was not pretty! And, sure, in the moment I would be able to ‘bring’ my horse back to trot (the place where I felt good). But, let’s be honest here, this in no way helped my horses and their training!

    To this day, when I’m lunging, and my horse becomes a little too enthusiastic, I have to remind myself that this is okay – and to trust my horse and myself that things will be okay.

    Once I relax mentally and then physically, I can then guide my horse back to a more balanced way of working. Not by forcing or ‘controlling’, but by becoming self-aware, and then using my presence to gently influence my horse to join me there.  I do feel that this is a self-trust. And I also believe that riders need to develop this before they can then begin guiding their horse to a similar place.

    Being a Positive Influence

    From here, you can then begin to help your horse to do the same. That even on the days when things go sideways, or he loses the run of himself, he can get himself back to balance again. And each time with less and less guidance from you. Helicopter riding and training do not work in the long term. In fact, I am 100% willing to bet that if you are practising this, you will hit a plateau and remain stuck there.

    With lunging, you can begin where you are now – probably more trying to control things. But as your self-awareness grows, so too will your influence. The obvious aids become more subtle – and your horse begins to take more responsibility for himself. 

    That is where the magic lies, and that is where your horse can begin letting go of control and developing the trust that is necessary. Trust in yourself, and trust in your horse. And vice versa. As the trust and confidence grow, so too will the levels of ‘self-control’ or ‘self-carriage’ – one of the things we are always looking to grow when riding and training.

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

    Want Support While You Do This?

    Inside Connection, we are dedicated to working on the 5 essentials, the keys to refining all the training elements we just talked about.  It’s exactly where your progress begins again.

    If this episode made you squirm a little and wonder, “Is she talking about me?”, then Connection will help you put all of this into practice. Join us inside today:- https://stridesforsuccess.com/join

    Online Training & Coaching

    Connect with Lorna online:-

  • Why Self-Carriage Matters More Than Most Riders Realise

    Why Self-Carriage Matters More Than Most Riders Realise

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    There are certain things riders hear about and mentally check out – assuming they are for ‘other riders’. Self-carriage is one of them. I think from years of misinformation, many riders think it sounds too technical, or ‘dressagey’. Just too fancy or advanced – and because of this, perhaps a little intimidating!

    But self-carriage is not just for dressage riders. It is not just for horses working at a high level. And it is definitely not something you only need to think about if you are chasing a prettier outline or a more impressive way of going.

    In fact, self-carriage matters to almost every rider because it is the backbone of so many of the things we do every day with our horses. Or that we ‘want’ to do and have every day! The light contact, balanced transitions, flow through corners.

    If the majority of your rides are leaving you feel exhausted, is it because of a strange feeling that if you take your mind and effort off for even a second, the whole thing will unravel? If so, self carriage is a great place to begin working!

    Because, if we get down to the nitty gritty, self-carriage is really about one simple question: can your horse organise their own body without you micromanaging every stride?

    The Real Problem Most Riders Are Feeling

    A lot of riders think they are chasing better transitions, lighter contact, or a horse that feels more “together.” And yes, those things matter. Of course they do. But so often, underneath all of that, there is a bigger issue.

    The horse is not yet truly taking responsibility for their own balance. And that is just not how ‘team work’ comes together!

    If you are the one constantly micro-managing, that gets tiring very quickly! Micro-managing can look like balancing, correcting, slowing down, steering, reminding, adjusting, gathering, etc. So many ways for us to ‘helicopter ride’ our horses! And, let’s be honest, when it gets to this point, often riding starts to feel like more work than it’s worth! Not necessarily bad. Not always dramatic. Just hard, heavy, and often not as enjoyable as it could be.

    What Self-Carriage Actually Means

    In plain English, self-carriage is when your horse is able to carry themselves with a reasonable degree of balance, rhythm, and responsibility – and without needing you to constantly hold them there! Now, this does not mean that you are perched up there having a holiday and allowing your horse to pick up all of the slack! Nor does it mean that everything is perfect.

    What it does mean is that your horse begins to contribute more to the partnership. They become an active team member who is working with you to achieve something together.

    They are not leaning on you for balance or falling onto the forehand the second things get a little harder. They are not relying on your hand to hold them up or your leg to keep everything from weaving or wandering across the arena. Instead, they are organising their own body to suit the level of the work involved.

    This is one of those things that can be easier to feel than to define. A horse with more self-carriage often feels lighter, and there’s more ‘flow’. The contact is an agreement by both parties, and they can maintain a good quality rhythm without constant correction. Smoother transitions, movements, and just an overall way of going. They are also much more adjustable and have ‘manoeuvrability’.

    It is not that everything suddenly becomes ‘easy’. It is that they begin taking more responsibility for their share of the work, the partnership, and the outcome.

    Self-Carriage is Not…

    Unfortunately, we sometimes get a little carried away with the idea of self-carriage – and our desire to make this happen in our riding and training! Not a good thing because this often leads riders to becoming ‘stuck’. Self-carriage is not how your horse is carrying his head, or a ‘frame’ that you hold your horse in.

    Head carriage and ‘frames’ are a result of developing self-carriage – they do not help to produce self-carriage!

    A horse can look more put together than they really are. They can appear ‘on the bit’ while still leaning on the rider, bracing through the body, or depending on the rein for balance. The outline may look better, but the feel underneath it is still one of management rather than true organisation and that distinction matters. A horse can still manage to ‘look’ good but still feel heavy. Just like a horse that appears ‘put together’, but still falls apart the moment the rider softens.

    That is why self-carriage must be properly understood and worked on as a rider. That it is a shared responsibility and developed balance, rather than just the appearance on the outside.

    When self-carriage improves, things often do look better. But they look better because the horse is now actively working on their own way of going. Not because the rider has arranged something to create an overall prettier picture!

    Ask Yourself This Question…

    Next time you are working with your horse, take the time to ask yourself the following question:- “If I softened or allowed a little here, would my horse maintain or would things begin to fall apart?”

    It is such a simple question, but what you learn can change everything! And I would suggest asking this throughout your ride, not just at one good moment! So, for example, would your horse remain balanced on that circle if you softened a little? Would they keep the same rhythm in trot, or would they get quicker, longer, heavier, or wobblier? Would they go through a transition and come out the other side still balanced, or would everything have fallen like a sack of potatoes onto the forehand?

    Would your horse be able to maintain what the two of you had built together, or would it all fall apart the second you stopped actively managing every piece?

    That question can tell you far more than a pretty photo ever will. And, worth repeating, this should be asked at lots of different points throughout the ride. Maybe your horse can stay organised in walk, but not in trot. Or perhaps they can hold things together on a straight line, but not on a circle. Your horse may find the upward transitions are fine, but downward transitions are just too much.

    And, potentially, you’ll get two or three good strides before it beings to unravel. If so, good – that is useful information, because now you know where the work actually needs to happen.

    Self-Carriage in Everyday Riding

    Now, before you become completely bored or intimidated about the work that lies ahead in your training, I have a few different points to consider. Firstly, as mentioned, this is not just about schooling in an arena.

    A horse that has developed some self-carriage is generally more rideable. And rideability matters whether you are hacking out, doing polework, jumping, retraining an ex-racehorse, coming back into riding after a break, or simply trying to enjoy your horse more.

    When a horse can carry themselves better, the contact feels lighter and transitions become clearer. Any adjustments that do have to be made don’t have to be so dramatic. Corners stop feeling like wheelbarrow exercises. And turning starts to feel more like turning a nimble little speedboat and less like a desperate attempt to redirect the Titanic!

    There is also less nagging and that matters more than most riders realise. Because when the rider is constantly correcting, reminding, and just holding everything together, the horse can easily begin to feel nagged as well. The ride becomes mentally tiring for both horse and rider. Everything starts to feel a bit over-managed!

    As self-carriage improves, the aids can become lighter, clearer, and more meaningful. You are no longer doing the horse’s job for them every second. You are communicating, not compensating. This is team work!

    Start with Lunging…

    Lunging is one of the most overlooked ways of helping your horse to develop self-carriage. Which is a pity because in my opinion, it is hands down one of the best places to begin. When you are working with your horse on the lunge, you can see what is really happening. You get the trainer’s perspective, rather than what the rider ‘thinks’ they feel.

    Lunging allows you the luxury of no longer sitting in the middle of the horse’s movement, trying to interpret everything from feel alone! Now you are seeing the actual feedback from your horse.

    You can watch the rhythm, pinpoint where any rushing begins, notice when the circle gets smaller because they are falling in, or if they begin drifting out and start leaning on the line for support. There is also the advantage of observing the transitions more objectively. And you can see whether the horse is maintaining a steady tempo or needing constant help to maintain the basics.

    And you can begin supporting your horse without, accidentally or not, holding everything together in quite the same way as you might do in the saddle. Your horse has the space to figure things out.

    That matters because many riders, usually with the best of intentions, tend to take on too much responsibility! They want to help and they want to get it right. For their horse to feel supported. But sometimes that support becomes so constant that the horse never really learns to carry their own share.

    There has to come a point where the horse is allowed to, with support, patience, and compassion, begin doing more for themselves. And that is where real development starts.

    Doing The Work

    So, if you have now realised that there may be work to do, this is where I am going to invite you to come and spend this month with us inside of Connection. The theme is Building Self Carriage on the Lunge and I think that you will love it, especially if your horse feels heavy in the hand. Or if transitions are exhausting and if each ride regularly leaves you feeling as though you were responsible for absolutely everything… Let’s do the work together. Not because self-carriage is glamorous. And definitely not because it sounds impressive!

    But because a horse who can organise their own body is a horse who becomes lighter, more responsive, more adjustable, and more enjoyable to ride.

    You should not have to hold your horse together every second of every ride. That is not the goal. The goal is a partnership where both of you come to the party.

    Happy Riding

    Lorna

    Want Support While You Do This?

    Inside Connection, we are dedicated to working on the 5 essentials, the keys to refining all the training elements we just talked about.  It’s exactly where your progress begins again.

    If this episode made you squirm a little, and wonder “…is she talking about me…?”, then Connection is exactly where you need to be!  Join us inside today:- https://stridesforsuccess.com/join

    Online Training & Coaching

    Connect with Lorna online:-

  • Letting Go to Level Up – The Messy Middle

    Letting Go to Level Up – The Messy Middle

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    There’s always that rub when you realise that what got you here is not the thing that’s going to get you there. The big issue is usually that what got you to this point, here, now feels comfortable and familiar. Easy even. And so many of us, myself included, just want to double down on these things to get further. Now, sometimes that works, you will see a little progress… But almost always that progress will stall – and you will inevitably find yourself beginning to go backwards as you ‘effort’ even harder!

    Learning to identify what needs to change is really important in riding and in life – and becoming okay with the concept of letting go, no matter how uncomfortable that feels, is often the key to allowing the change to happen. 

    The initial burst of enthusiasm and motivation we feel when we decide to move to the next level as a rider will, unfortunately, be short-lived. However, when you are honest enough with yourself to understand that there will be a ‘messy middle’, you can be more self-aware when you get there, so that you can consciously navigate it with the least hassle possible.

    Letting Go to Level Up

    Any time you set yourself a goal to reach a new level as a rider, there will be a gap between where you are and where you want to be regarding skills, level, knowledge, abilities, resources, etc. It’s that gap that you have to close to reach your goal. And in order to close that gap, you will need to do something differently. Which seems fine when it’s said like that, right?

    The challenge arrives when we begin to believe that the thing or situation we are currently experiencing or have is essential – and we become unwilling to think or do anything different. 

    But it makes sense that changing or dropping things is the key. For example, if you were a novice rider who found that using the more ‘obvious aids’ of legs and hands made your communication with your horse easier… It would make sense that you would think this is the way to continue to reach the next level of your riding and your horse’s training, right? Wrong! To reach the next level, you will need to refine your aids from the obvious to the subtle – seat, weight, mind, thoughts, etc.

    You will have to let go or be willing to change what worked up to this point, to reach the new point in your riding – and that can feel scary, uncomfortable, and counterintuitive! 

    You’re Not Just Adding Skills

    Imagine that each new skill you learn as a rider is a package. When you began riding, you had no packages. Your arms are wide open, keen to begin collecting these packages that will make all the difference to you and your riding. And as you progressed, you began accumulating packages. Soon, you will reach a point where you have quite a few packages. Which is fine – until it’s not.

    Because when you want to level up, you need new skills. New packages. And this will require you to put a past package or two down so you can pick up a new package. Swap an old ‘method’ or belief for a new one.  

    Here’s a good example. I bet that earlier in your riding journey, you realised there was a direct correlation between the degree your heels are down and the frequency you fall off. More down usually equals fewer falls! So, it makes sense that you will work to get your heels down and keep them there! However, forcing your heels down might just be what’s holding you back from reaching a new level of skills…

    And because you were so committed to doing something one way, means that it will feel uncomfortable or ‘different’ when you suddenly begin doing it a different way. Welcome to the messy middle! 

    Using Self-Awareness to Win

    This is where your level of self-awareness will play a big role. If you simply hurtle along through your riding journey, with no real understanding of what’s going on, it will take longer and feel harder than it needs to be! But if you already know, when you make your decision to level up your skills, this makes the transition period much easier.

    When you know to expect a ‘messy middle’ on your way to levelling up, you can begin to put systems and ‘rules’ in place to help buffer for it when it comes. You can also work through it much more quickly. 

    So how will you know when you’re in the thick of the ‘messy middle’? The following might begin to happen or start happening more frequently:-

          • Your horse’s way of going is not as ‘pretty’ as it was
          • Your abilities seem to have gone backwards
          • The communication between you and your horse is jumbled
          • You feel frustrated at not being able to do something
          • You feel like you’re ‘trying harder’ but getting nowhere
          • The overall standard seems to revert back to a previous version!

    For many riders, when they hit this part of the journey but don’t realise it, they throw in the towel and give up. However, when you know that it is coming, you can plan for it. Find the right people to help guide you through the challenges. Maybe that is a trainer, coach, group of riders, or online community…

    You can also notice the specific places the challenges are showing up – the triggers – and learn more about what needs to be uplevelled from this. 

    What Are You Holding Onto?

    So, back to the original concept for this episode, letting go to level up… Have you experienced this in your riding and training? And if so, what did you do? Hold on (and remain stuck)? Or allow yourself to embrace the messy middle and use it as insight into what needs to shift in your riding or approach to riding?

    Letting go can feel scary. But remember, you can always go back if needs be. However, if you are to really allow your nervous system to upgrade to the new level you want to ride at, learning how to be ‘okay’ with letting go is a big step towards that!

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

    Want Support While You Do This?

    Inside Connection, are dedicated to working on the 5 essentials, the keys to refining all the training elements we just talked about.  It’s exactly where your progress begins again.

    If this episode made you squirm a little, and wonder “…is she talking about me…?”, then Connection is exactly where you need to be!  Join us for the Half Halt Training at:- https://stridesforsuccess.com/join

    Online Training & Coaching

    The Your Signature Ride Challenge

    Here’s the idea: you use only your seat and leg aids to “write” your name in the arena. Sounds simple, right? But what it really does is sharpen your awareness of timing and clarity.  You’ll learn when your aids actually make a difference.  And you’ll have fun doing it.  All while creating a pattern that’s uniquely yours!

    You can sign up by CLICKING HERE

    It’s free to join, and every rider who participates gets access to a guided audio lesson to help them through the challenge. Plus, you’ll have a chance to win 3 months inside Connection (a $66 value)

    Restart & Reschool

    And if you would like a little more 1-to-1 coaching, explore Restart & Reschool Private Coaching. It is perfect if you’re starting your practice – or if you’re looking to turn your existing practice into something ‘real’ for you and your horse. I’ll guide you step by step on the way! You’ll not only get the full ‘OTTB; From Racetrack to Ready Program’, but also fornightly private lessons with me to move you forward in your riding.

    We can work on anything you would like; from groundwork, to lunging, to riding, to jumping… With the virtual private lessons, we can do all of these things – and more.  If you would like to find out me, you can let me know a little more about you HERE, and I will then reach back out, and we can chat!

    This is the support, training, and accountability you’ve been missing to finally follow through and start seeing progress. No fluff. No overwhelm. And as flexible as you need for your lifestyle. 

    Connect with Lorna online:-

  • Are You Bracing when Working with Your Horse?

    Are You Bracing when Working with Your Horse?

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    As riders, we tend to get to a point in our riding where we would much prefer it if our horse did not anticipate the upcoming movement or question. This is usually because it causes a lack of suppleness; physically and mentally. However, as riders, we are actually doing the same thing more than a lot of us are willing to admit!

    Have you ever found yourself expecting something to go wrong before it even happens? Well, whether you realise it or not, in that moment, you’re probably bracing!

    In this post, I want to explore the idea of bracing vs. embracing (rather than just relaxation), and how it is having a huge undercurrent on all of the training and work you’re doing with your horse. I also want to argue for embracing the moment and how this could be the single biggest shift you can make in your training this year.

    What Is Bracing?

    Bracing is a contraction.  It’s that tightening, restricting, protective posture we automatically shift into when we expect impact. And so often, we do this without even realising it!  Physically, it might look and feel like a clenched jaw, tight shoulders, locked elbows, gripping with your thighs and knees (turning into a clothes peg on your horse’s back!), or holding your breath.

    But bracing isn’t just physical. It also shows up mentally and emotionally, especially when you expect the worst, worry about the consequences or results, and try to control EVERYTHING! 

    It’s a fear or anxiety-based response that is so often linked to a past experience that didn’t go well. This past experience might not even be to do with horses. However, your mind and body ‘braced’ and this worked in that situation. So, you now believe that “this keeps me safe.”

    But when bracing becomes your default response to uncertainty, challenges, or a specific situation, it stops helping and starts hurting your progress.

    Why Bracing Becomes a Problem

    So aside from expecting the worst, there are other issues with bracing when working with your horse. Lack of feel, softness, and connection are the three big challenges! And when you work with your horse, whether on the ground or in the saddle, these qualities are essential to develop and improve.

    Your horse reads your body language like a book. Which means that when you ‘brace’, your horse feels it. And because many horses are masters at mirroring, they’ll often respond with tension or resistance.

    Which is often the key reason that the ‘worst thing’ you were has the potential to begin playing out! And remember, not because of your horse, but more to do with the energy you brought to the moment! Your bracing ends up becoming a self-fulfilled prophecy!

    This can play out in so many different areas of groundwork and riding. Upward transitions are often a great example of this. A rider asks for trot or canter, but as soon as the horse responds with energy, the rider braces! It’s like saying ‘go’, but then immediately changing your mind and shouting ‘no’! They tighten the reins, lock their back.  And the horse says, “Hold on… Didn’t you just ask me to go?”

    Confusion sets in, tension rises and the rider becomes frustrated. All while, over time, the horse becomes resistant.

    What Bracing Blocks

    Okay, so let’s be honest – bracing is literally you avoiding some sort of a perceived collision or interaction with someone or something. It is you ‘backing off’ whatever it is you think is coming. So when you brace, you block all of the good things that are necessary to ride ‘through’ something. Things like:-

          • Energy
          • Flow
          • Connection
          • Rhythm
          • Suppleness
          • Trust

    This is why bracing becomes a bigger problem over time, especially when your horse learns to anticipate your bracing. When your horse begins to expect that response from you. Horses are really good pattern-readers. This is how we work with them by setting expectations.

    Except when your horse begins to expect a block every time you ask a specific question…  He is soon not going to respond the way you want but rather the way you ‘expect’. 

    So, if everytime when you’re out on a hack, another horse whinny’s in the distance, and you clamp the reins, your horse begins to learn that this ‘hardness’ is your response to this. Obviously, this is a reaction from you. But your horse sees it as a response.  Soon, you’ll find that you’re not just riding the horse; you’re riding the pattern you’ve both unknowingly created.

    What’s the Opposite of Bracing?

    Now, most instructors will say “relaxing.”. And I myself have also said this for years. “Try to relax a little more as you ask for the transition into canter” is something I know I have repeated on many occasions! And yes, relaxation is important. But it’s not the real opposite of bracing.

    The true opposite of bracing is embracing. To actively remain open, stay present and curious, and to remain connected. To be self-aware enough to go with the movement and the moment. 

    Think about the last time you physically embraced someone or something. Maybe it was a hug, a smile, a decision to walk through the door instead of run! You weren’t trying to control it, but rather allowing the moment to unfold.  That’s the energy we need to bring into our riding and interactions with our horses.

    Embracing When Riding

    So, instead of gripping with your legs, you soften your calves, knees, and thighs, which allows the energy to flow and the movement to work forward. Instead of locking down your elbows, you allow your hands to follow your horse’s movement.  Rather than white-knuckling the lead rope because another horse is showing off in the field nearby, you breathe and say, “It’s okay. We see it. But we’re still here.”

    Embracing doesn’t mean you like everything that happens.  It means you’re willing to meet what’s happening and respond with awareness and curiosity, rather than anxiety and fear. 

    For many riders, this habit of bracing often shows up before they even get into the saddle!  Maybe you’ve noticed that when you’re walking out to the field thinking, “this is going to be a 45-minute chase”. You’re preparing for the worst, and because of this you’re probably not really giving off ‘I’m fun to be with’ vibes!

    Maybe you’re tacking up already anxious about how the ride will go, or you’re holding your breath while mounting, literally waiting for something to go wrong. Your horse feels this. All of it. Your energy matters before the work begins. It sets the tone.

    Start Embracing Instead of Bracing

    This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being aware. So, next time you ride, pay closer attention to your actions, thoughts, and feelings. Actively begin noticing where you are potentially bracing. Is it while preparing for or during transitions? Maybe it’s when you’re leading? Or, as I mentioned, it could be as early as when you’re out catching your horse?

    Once you notice it, breathe. A deep breath is often enough to begin shifting your response. Then soften one part of your body. Your hands, jaw, hips, shoulders, elbows, fingers, knees… Then become curious.

    Ask yourself, “What would happen if I embraced this instead of bracing against it?”. And then simply begin to practice this every ride and every interaction you have with your horse.

    You can even put it into practice in your day-to-day life. Maybe it’s something someone says, or a report on the radio that you hear. I think if you are bracing, it is probably not only happening on your horse. Begin looking for opportunities to practice everywhere, and see each opportunity as a chance to choose differently.

    Is Bracing Ever Okay?

    Look, there will always be moments when bracing is the exact right response for that particular situation. It might keep you safe in a sticky situation. Or it might help you stay on board during a particularly hairy moment! And that is more than okay.

    However, for the most part and especially in your everyday riding, the habit of bracing will more than likely work to keep you stuck as a rider and an equestrian.  So why not make this a mini-project for yourself? To shift your awareness and your energy when working with your horse. To learn to embrace.

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

    Want Support While You Do This?

    Inside Connection, are dedicated to working on the 5 essentials, the keys to refining all the training elements we just talked about.  It’s exactly where your progress begins again.

    If this episode made you squirm a little, and wonder “…is she talking about me…?”, then Connection is exactly where you need to be!  Join us for the Half Halt Training at:- https://stridesforsuccess.com/join

    Online Training & Coaching

    The Your Signature Ride Challenge

    Here’s the idea: you use only your seat and leg aids to “write” your name in the arena. Sounds simple, right? But what it really does is sharpen your awareness of timing and clarity.  You’ll learn when your aids actually make a difference.  And you’ll have fun doing it.  All while creating a pattern that’s uniquely yours!

    You can sign up by CLICKING HERE

    It’s free to join, and every rider who participates gets access to a guided audio lesson to help them through the challenge. Plus, you’ll have a chance to win 3 months inside Connection (a $66 value)

    Restart & Reschool

    And if you would like a little more 1-to-1 coaching, explore Restart & Reschool Private Coaching. It is perfect if you’re starting your practice – or if you’re looking to turn your existing practice into something ‘real’ for you and your horse. I’ll guide you step by step on the way! You’ll not only get the full ‘OTTB; From Racetrack to Ready Program’, but also fornightly private lessons with me to move you forward in your riding.

    We can work on anything you would like; from groundwork, to lunging, to riding, to jumping… With the virtual private lessons, we can do all of these things – and more.  If you would like to find out me, you can let me know a little more about you HERE and I will then reach back out and we can chat!

    This is the support, training, and accountability you’ve been missing to finally follow through and start seeing progress. No fluff. No overwhelm. And as flexible as you need for your lifestyle. 

    Connect with Lorna online:-

  • A 10-Minute Riding Plan to Keep You Riding When Life Gets Busy

    A 10-Minute Riding Plan to Keep You Riding When Life Gets Busy

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    Feeling stretched thin this month? You’re not alone…  There are always times and seasons of our lives that make us feel like we’re being pulled in a million different directions! Family, kids, work, weather, holidays… And before you know it, your riding time is sliding right down your priorities list! It feels frustrating because you want to ride… But you just can’t seem to find the space for a “proper” training session.

    But what if it’s just your mindset that needs a tweaking, so that you begin to see the power in shorter, more intentional work with your horse? 10 minutes instead of 45… 

    This episode is all about giving you a simple, powerful riding plan you can use whenever you find yourself with too much to do and not enough time! It will help you to keep momentum, stay consistent, and actually feel like you’re still achieving things with your riding and your training.

    Find a Smaller Space

    Okay, before we go any further with the plan, I do think that there are 2 things you can do to set you up for success. The first one is to commit to a smaller space to work in. If you have only 10 minutes, a full-sized arena is too big!  You’ll end up wandering around, becoming distracted, and not get half as much done as you wanted in your small, dedicated chunk of time.

    When you ride in a smaller, enclosed space it creates focus, reduces overwhelm, keeps both of you mentally engaged, and acts like a little ‘connection bubble’ for you and your horse. 

    A 20m x 20m space is perfect, like a lunging ring. Alternatively, if you do have a bigger space, try placing poles on the ground, marking out a temporary, smaller space. I do suggest having a physical boundary. It really does help this shorter, focused work.

    Riding = Groundwork, Lunging, Riding, etc.

    My second point to clear up quickly is the fact that I am using the word ride or riding. But this plan is not just limited to riding.  Take riding to mean any intentional interaction you can have with your horse. Lunging, long-lining, groundwork, etc.

    Switching between different training methods will give you a fresh perspective, more information about your horse and yourself, and better clarity on what needs attention when you do find yourself with the luxury of more time. 

    What’s the 10 Minute Riding Plan?

    It’s a short, focused session designed to connect your body, your mind, and your horse’s attention, without pressure. And it’s a plan you can take and plug your own specific intentions or goals into so that it works exactly for you and your horse wherever you are right now in your riding.

    This riding plan works because it removes overwhelm, eliminates decision fatigue, and stops you from wandering around an arena trying to “fit something in.”

    The basic outline for this reset or riding plan includes:-

          • 1–2 minutes of Mindful Walking – Breathing, connecting your seat, syncing with your horse
          • 1–2 minutes of Rhythm Setting – Finding, keeping, and maintaining a consistent tempo
          • 2–3 minutes of Simple Patterns – Circles, figures of eight, changes of rein, serpentines, nothing fancy
          • 2–3 minutes of One Clear Focus – Transitions, your seat, straightness, bend, connection, half halt…

    It’s deliberately uncomplicated, because complicated rides don’t work when life is chaotic! This is the exact time you need to find what’s doable and just enough to keep you moving in your riding and training.

    What This Riding Plan Is Not For

    I think that for you to make the most of this riding plan, you need to realise that this is for when you don’t have the luxury of time or a consistent schedule. This is important. There are things that I feel need to be worked on when you do have those things. Things like explaining something new to your horse, or trying difficult new movements! Or anything that requires you to warm up for quite a bit of time. Don’t try to squash a full 40-minute training session into 10 minutes!

    If you only have 10 minutes, go into it with that mindset. Don’t try to cram and rush things. So often it’s the tension we bring by trying to do too much in a short period of time that negates all of the goodness of the short, intentional training sessions! 

     

    Why a 10 Minute Riding Plan Works

    When you go into this with the full intention of it being exactly what it is, a short intentional ride, you’ll get positive results. You can use the time to reinforce or practice positive habits while maintaining or even strengthening your partnership with your horse.

    And instead of allowing all past progress to slide due to a busy period, you get to come out the other side still moving forward with momentum! 

    And keep in mind that your horse doesn’t know the ride is only 10 minutes long! He will rather feel your presence, your intention, and if you plan well, benefit from the whole experience!

    Making This Work for 4 to 6 Weeks

    How long you will have to ride in this way will depend on your specific situation and circumstances. But it really can help you come out the other side of a busy period still connected and working with your horse if you commit to being consistent, doing the planning work, and showing up!

    1. Choose a Time Window

    Okay, so let’s say you’re looking at this coming week. Instead of saying I’ll ride Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday, I want you to get more specific. Not a specific time exactly, but rather a specific window of time in which you will ride.  So, for example, I will ride:-

          • Sometime between 7am and 9am on Wednesday.
          • Before evening feeding time on Thursday
          • During my lunch on Monday

    2. Choose a Weekly Focus

    Then, rather than just showing up on the day and wandering aimlessly around for 10 minutes, choose a theme for the week.  This way, even if you only get 2 riding sessions in, you are building consistency and momentum to keep you both ‘ticking over’ when life feels hectic! I think that the theme will depend on where you both are in your training, but a few potential ones you could explore are:-

          • Rhythm
          • Transitions
          • Weight aids
          • Bending and flexion
          • Straightness
          • The half halt

    3. Track & Review the Work!

    I’ve been preaching this for years, and it is still the missing piece for so many riders! They are just not tracking and reviewing their rides! You will begin creating and building momentum when you develop consistency.

          • Take the time to review each ride immediately after it happens
          • Look for and notice patterns
          • Allow what you learn to guide the next week’s theme

    Inside Connection, I have created training to help you use AI to make tracking and reviewing easier and more effective. The recordings are available there right now for you to dive into

    And, if you’re looking for looking for short, structured riding plans, Connection is packed with 12 minute audio horse riding lessons you can use every time you’re in the saddle. 

    Whatever you decide, don’t allow a busy period of life to derail you and your riding plans. I have a full workbook filled with 15-minute or less ideas you can use to get inspired. It’s packed with quick ideas for groundwork, lunging, and riding, and it’s 100% free over at https://stridesforsuccess.com/15

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

    Explore Connection

    Connection is full of short, structured 12-minute audio horse riding lessons, perfect for December or other busy periods! We’re also deep-diving into the half halt this quarter, with live trainings and replays available inside.
    https://stridesforsuccess.com/join

    Online Training & Coaching

    The Your Signature Ride Challenge

    Here’s the idea: you use only your seat and leg aids to “write” your name in the arena. Sounds simple, right? But what it really does is sharpen your awareness of timing and clarity.  You’ll learn when your aids actually make a difference.  And you’ll have fun doing it.  All while creating a pattern that’s uniquely yours!

    You can sign up by CLICKING HERE

    It’s free to join, and every rider who participates gets access to a guided audio lesson to help them through the challenge. Plus, you’ll have a chance to win 3 months inside Connection (a $66 value)

    Restart & Reschool

    And if you would like a little more 1-to-1 coaching, explore Restart & Reschool Private Coaching. It is perfect if you’re starting your practice – or if you’re looking to turn your existing practice into something ‘real’ for you and your horse. I’ll guide you step by step on the way! You’ll not only get the full ‘OTTB; From Racetrack to Ready Program’, but also fortnightly private lessons with me to move you forward in your riding.

    We can work on anything you would like; from groundwork, to lunging, to riding, to jumping… With the virtual private lessons, we can do all of these things – and more.  If you would like to find out more, you can let me know a little more about you HERE. I will then reach back out, and we can chat!

    This is the support, training, and accountability you’ve been missing to finally follow through and start seeing progress. No fluff. No overwhelm. And as flexible as you need for your lifestyle. 

    Connect with Lorna online:-

  • Going Slow to Speed Up – Your Riding Questions Answered

    Going Slow to Speed Up – Your Riding Questions Answered

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    It can feel frustrating when you realise that you have to steady up a little in your rush to get somewhere! And, when riding, going slow to speed up is often what’s required to really allow the concept to sink in; mentally and physically. Last week’s episode about what riders are often not willing to do seems to have hit a nerve for many riders!

    Riders reached out with questions, worries, queries about resistance that had shown up, and a healthy dose of “But do I really have to go that slow?”.

    So in this episode I answer a lot of the questions I received. I chose the ones that I feel, for the majority of riders, might crop up when working on this topic! And look, let’s be honest here. Intentionally slowing things down usually doesn’t feel great – especially when you’ve a bee in your bonnet to get somewhere else! But you can’t argue with the proof that it’s the riders who invest in the slow, steady, correct work, that make the long term progress in their riding and training. So, on that note, let’s crack on ;)

    Q1. Where do I begin? And doing what?

    “I don’t know where to start. In the episode, you say to begin on the ground, but I don’t know what to do there”

    This was, in one form or another, hands-down the most common question! Many riders hear “start on the ground,” and instantly freeze. They’re wondering about what they should do on the ground. And how long should they do it. And what happens if their horse doesn’t understand?…

    Here’s the simple version; start with leading your horse in a deliberate, connected way. Then take this opportunity to begin weaving your voice into the mix and allowing it to become a powerful aid.  

    If your horse doesn’t understand your voice aids yet, don’t worry. Horses learn through association. So pair your existing aid (usually pressure through the halter or reins) with the new voice cue. Over time, the new cue becomes clear enough that you can gradually reduce the old aid.

    It’s like building a bridge; your old aid, paired with new aid, which overtime allows the new aid to become clearer and more understood. And then you can begin to phase the old aid out.

    And yes, this works with your voice to seat and weight aids too. The order doesn’t matter nearly as much as consistency does. Use your voice in the arena, in the field, at the gate, and even walking up the driveway. The more consistent you are, the faster the association forms. But, take my advice here and start on the ground first :)

    Q2. Thinking Forward v’s Rushing?”

    These two can look similar at first glance, especially if your horse is a bit ‘hot’, ‘goey’, or easily distracted. But the feeling is completely different.  A horse who is thinking forward moves with a ‘sense of purpose’. They seem to have an intention and enough energy (and tension) to do the work they’re doing – without it spilling over! The level of tension they have is right for the movement or work they are doing at that exact moment.

    This contrasts completely with the horse who is rushing… This horse will often seem to carry a little too much tension in their bodies. They may be experiencing anxiety or unable to focus, so constantly distracted or unbalanced…

    Thinking forward does not mean rushing. It means working with a sense of purpose – which is both mental and physical. And it’s a great indicator that your ‘slowing down’ is beginning to produce great results! 

    Relaxation is a really misunderstood concept when it comes to training and working with horses. It doesn’t mean floppy, sleepy, slow, or dragging  themselves (or you) along. It simply means the tension present through both the horse and rider is appropriate for the job at hand.

    When thinking forward, both you and your horse’s body and mind are focusing themselves toward the work; not away from it! 

    Q3. It Didn’t Work!

    “I tried the walk to halt to walk work today and it was awful. When can I trot again?”

    Okay, my first response to this is for the rider to just breathe for a second, step away from the fast-forward button and be realistic about the situation; you tried it once! Instant-gratification really has no place when it comes to riding or training horses! However, unfortunately, that is the world we live in right now.

    So, if your first attempt felt messy, stiff, or downright awful, it often points to one of two things… You skipped the groundwork. Or your position might be blocking what you’re asking for. 

    Regarding the groundwork, it is common to believe that because you work with your horse every day, you can skip this bit. But reinforcing the thing that is holding you back will only result in you both staying stuck. And, skipping the groundwork, as so many riders do, is where so many issues stem from.  Regarding your position potentially blocking the energy; alignment matters so much  when you’re going back to the basics. When you’re doing going slow to later speed up.

    My suggestion is to whip out your phone and video yourself. Watch your posture and alignment. Practice curiosity – not judgement. Self-assessment is one of the quickest ways to speed up when you don’t have a trainer on the ground.

    And no, you won’t be stuck either on the ground or in walk forever! A few dedicated sessions on the basics, plus a commitment to revisiting them in warm-ups and cool-downs, is usually enough to transform things…

    Q4. My Horse Is Bored with ‘Slow’!

    “My horse is bored doing this slow work. What else can I do?”

    When I read this, the first thought that popped into my head was “Is your horse bored; or are you bored?!”. And this is all said with love – because 98% of the time, it’s the rider who’s ‘bored’! I’ll admit, there was a time when I believed this as well. However, a great trainer I had the opportunity to work with thought me to think differently about it.

    Walking work can be endlessly interesting if you show up as the trainer and create intention within the session. Add lateral work. Add poles. Change your focus. Look at your straightness, your bend, your rhythm, your timing.

    I know for a fact that you can ride the exact same exercise, let’s say a three-looped serpentine, with a different focus every day and never run out of things to refine. Hence why this trusty ‘basic of basic’ school movements is one of my all time favourites.

    Boredom is rarely a horse problem. It’s a rider creativity problem. And if you want to begin showing up as a trainer, it becomes your responsibility to think differently so that your work together remains interesting. 

    Q5. Help, I’m a Helicopter Rider!

    “I’ve realised that I’m doing everything for my horse – but when I stop helping, it all falls apart!”

    Ah, the club that no-one wants to find out that their a part of! Helicopter Riders (who are a lot like Helicopter Parents). What I mean here is that you are hovering around, simply waiting for something to go wrong so that you can swoop in and save the day! It’s micromanaging at it’s worst – and it’s absolutely exhausting!

    When you’re micro-managing everything in your riding and training, you’re really trying to prevent any mistakes from happening… BUT, in doing so, you’re also preventing any learning from taking place! 

    Mistakes are not a sign that something is wrong; they’re the sign that the learning process has begun. You need to begin shifting how you see your role when working with your horse. Instead of ‘minding’ everything, your new ‘job’ is to set everything up as well as you can… Then get out of the way so that your horse can ‘do’ what you’ve asked. And when he inevitably hits a bit of a speed wobble, simply correct, set it up and try again.

    A key part of moving away from ‘helicopter mode’ is to do all of this from neutral. No grudges! No matter how many times you feel you have to correct the same thing! Reset yourself and your horse – and then try again from neutral.

    Q6. We’ll Lose Fitness!

    “Won’t spending so much time ‘going slow’ cause my horse to lose fitness?”

    Okay, let’s get honest here – it might. But usually, this is actually more of a mindset fear, not a reality!  A horse with a solid fitness base doesn’t lose it overnight. And even if your horse does step down a level, fitness returns far more quickly in a horse who has been fit before than one who has never reached that stage, or has done so years before.

    The important thing to consider here is that if your current training isn’t built on a solid foundation, then you will eventually hit a roadblock that will require you to ‘go back’. Rather do this now!

    Fixing the foundation doesn’t take months of walking in circles.  It takes intention and a few weeks of re-calibration.  And this ‘slow work’ pays off for years afterwards.

    Q7. How Long to Go Slow?!

    “How long should I stay in each stage before moving on?”

    Okay, there are so many questions to do with horses, riding, and training that I answer with “it depends” – and this is one of them!  It will depend; on you, your horse, your consistency, and your willingness to let go of the aids you’ve been leaning on for years. Aids and training methods that may have got you to where you are right now, but are the very things that are blocking you from moving forward now.

    Revising the basics should feel like a blend of the old with the new. You’re slowly and consistently reducing reliance on the outdated aid as the new one becomes clearer.

    If you feel completely stuck at one stage, that’s a sign that something else, usually communication, understanding, or your position, needs attention. Forward momentum should feel fluid, not stalled. And this leads me to the next question I received…

    Q8. How Will I Know If It’s Working?”

    “I’m not sure what I should be on the look out for to know if my approach is working or not”

    This is a great question. And I get it that when you’re starting out, it can be difficult to see progress – especially when you’re in the vacuum of just you and your horse! But, as the popular meme says.; “There will be signs”!

    Progress will look like the basics showing up more consistently. Rhythm, relaxation, balance, responsiveness… And they will become more easy to maintain. 

    Also, you won’t just feel it, I strongly suggest you do something so that you can actually see it. And this is where trusty lunging is 100% the best approach you can take. You will actually be able to see the contrast between “before” and “after” you ask something or make an adjustment. And because horses don’t lie, this is often the most honest mirror you can give yourself.

    This is exactly why inside Connection, we spent an entire month refining the half halt on the lunge. When you can see the transformation before you even get into the saddle, your confidence skyrockets and your communication becomes clearer.

    It really and truly will pay you so much in the long run to take time now to slow down. Revisit, rework, and re-engage the basics – so that you can speed up in your progress and training later.

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

    Get Your Riding Questions Answered…

    So, hopefully I have answered the majority of questions I received regarding last week’s episode (you can listen to it HERE if you missed it). However, maybe you have encountered something different or you’re wondering about something I have not addressed here. This is where Connection really helps riders just like you.

    If you’re feeling ready to walk the full A to B to C path with your horse, all of the details are HERE.

    Also, if this work is speaking to you, or your foundations feel shaky! And, especially if you’re ready to turn “going slow” into “real progress,” then Connection is where we do all of this step-by-step, with coaching, structure, and community. You can find all the details here:- https://stridesforsuccess.com/join

    Online Training & Coaching

    The Your Signature Ride Challenge

    Here’s the idea: you use only your seat and leg aids to “write” your name in the arena. Sounds simple, right? But what it really does is sharpen your awareness of timing and clarity.  You’ll learn when your aids actually make a difference.  And you’ll have fun doing it.  All while creating a pattern that’s uniquely yours!

    You can sign up by CLICKING HERE

    It’s free to join, and every rider who participates gets access to a guided audio lesson to help them through the challenge. Plus, you’ll have a chance to win 3 months inside Connection (a $66 value)

    Restart & Reschool

    And if you would like a little more 1-to-1 coaching, explore Restart & Reschool Private Coaching. It is perfect if you’re starting your practice – or if you’re looking to turn your existing practice into something ‘real’ for you and your horse. I’ll guide you step by step on the way! You’ll not only get the full ‘OTTB; From Racetrack to Ready Program’, but also fortnightly private lessons with me to move you forward in your riding.

    We can work on anything you would like; from groundwork, to lunging, to riding, to jumping… With the virtual private lessons, we can do all of these things – and more.  If you would like to find out me, you can let me know a little more about you HERE and I will then reach back out and we can chat!

    This is the support, training, and accountability you’ve been missing to finally follow through and start seeing progress. No fluff. No overwhelm. And as flexible as you need for your lifestyle. 

    Connect with Lorna online:-