Strides for Success

Tag: fun

  • Enjoyment v’s Perfection; Release the Pressure!

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    Have you been allowing your goal of ‘doing things right’ to suck the joy and fun out of horse riding for you? Maybe you’ve been wanting to get back into riding after a long break, but you stop yourself because things are not 100% perfect. There’s a time and a place for perfection. Every single moment that you’re interacting with your horse is NOT that time!

    Today, I want to encourage you to let go of perfection. Release the pressure you’re putting on yourself and your horse for everything to be amazing. And just be present and enjoy the moment – warts and all! 

    Have you ever watched children playing and noticed how much pure fun they usually have? They are not worried about ‘playing the correct way’ or ‘doing it the right way’. They are simply there, at the moment, enjoying it as it all unfolds before them.

    Here’s how to begin approaching your riding and interactions with your horse the same way…

    Perfection Leaves Little Room for Fun!

    Years ago, I worked at a yard exercising horses. One of those horses was, in my opinion, really special. I absolutely adored working with him and riding him. After about a year, that same horse came up for sale. I was delighted and immediately made a plan and bought him. And then everything changed…

    Within a week I was falling off more than staying on! Things that were simple before felt impossible. Until I gave up! I admitted defeat, made the decision to sell him, and just stopped trying. And like magic – things were amazing again!

    You can work on improving yourself – AND have fun while doing it. So can your horse. If frustration, disappointment, or even avoidance make up a big part of your riding – you need to learn to release perfection. 

    Back then, I had been trying too hard with my new horse. I had placed so much emphasis on making everything perfect and right, that it was actually ruining everything!  Now, I’m not telling you this to say ‘give up’, but to show you how perfection can really and truly ruin so much in your riding.

    The Rider You ‘Used to Be’

    Another way this shows up for many riders who have been at this for a while is comparisonitis. These riders are comparing their current self with the version of themselves that used to ride 20 or 30 years ago. You’re not that person now. And this applies even if ‘that person’ was you only 3 months ago.

    You have to understand that the level of progress you make now is what’s possible for the rider you are now. Does this mean you must accept this as the be-all end-all going forward? No – you can definitely improve. But that will take a strategic approach, consistency, and time.

    You can only be as good as you are right now. This version of you. And if you want to be better, pinpoint things you can do to begin improving – and remember to give this version of you, right now, grace in the moment. 

    What Do You Enjoy?

    So there’s the comparison between past you and present you. And then there’s the trap of comparing yourself to others. Usually strangers. Who are willing to post their ‘highlights’ on social media for the world to see. Watching other riders, if you do it long enough, will almost always leave you feeling ‘less than’. Trying to reach that perceived standard of ‘perfection’.

    Keep in mind that every rider has their own journey. And it’s all of your experiences in life that makes up your riding style (not just equestrian experiences). This goes for other riders as well. So there is no way to compare. 

    So rather than trying to squeeze yourself into a style (think of it like an outfit) that belongs to someone else, find your own. What do you enjoy? Yes, you can try on different things that you see others doing or using. And if you like them, you will then blend that specific element into the rest of your style. The key here is to enjoy it all. Like what YOU do and are.

    And rather than it all being ‘perfect’, start looking for little things that feel good. Small pieces of the ride or interaction that you’re proud of. And focus on repeating those more often when you’re working with your horse

    What Is Success for You?

    Recently I was working with a rider online and I could see that frustration was creeping into her work with her horse. She was definitely aiming for some form of perfection. This was a horse she had recently purchased from someone she knew. After the lesson (our virtual private lesson – more information on that HERE), we got more into the nitty gritty of what was going on.

    It seems that she was trying to ride to ‘be like’ the horse’s previous owner. This owner was more experienced, about 6 inches taller, rode 6/7 days a week, and had a full-time trainer… It was like chalk and cheese! And there was no way that my rider was going to ‘win’ using the points she was comparing herself to! The perfection she was aiming for was just not realistic for her.

    So we worked on figuring out what a great ride would look like for her – at this exact point in her training and riding journey with this exact horse. We bantered around a few different versions until she eventually identified something that she both enjoyed and felt excited about doing. 

    Now, when she rides, she first spends time visualizing what’s possible for her at the place she is right now in her riding. And she works towards that in her ride. I can see both she and her horse enjoy themselves a lot more with this approach!

    Enjoyment v’s Perfection

    Another way to enjoy more about your riding is to become aware of the marker or measurement you’re using when working with your horse. Unfortunately, as adults, we can train ourselves to judge how ‘good’ something is by how much we achieve by doing the thing. And, in riding, this often revolves around competitions.

    At the beginning I mentioned how children love playing because they love playing. There’s no ‘winning’ or ‘result’. They are simply enjoying the moment. It is absolutely okay to ride because you love riding. 

    Yes, you can work on improving your relationship with your horse, but this should be because you want to develop the bond or partnership more. Not because you think you ‘should’. Or to win some competition (official or in your head).

    If you have been struggling with perfection in your riding, I challenge you to have at least one ‘pressure-free ride’ each week. The goal is simply to enjoy being with your horse and to remain present throughout the session.

    Enjoyment; How Did ‘WE’ Feel Today?

    As you move through this week with your horse, try to notice where you are being a little hard and rigid with yourself or your horse. When you notice excessive tension creeping in; stop what you’re doing. Notice how it feels in your body and then try to work back and find the thought that triggered it.

    Once you’ve discovered this thought (which is probably on repeat a lot in your head), challenge yourself to come up with something different to think…

    “Did I do that as well as Barbara does when she rides?” can become “How did that feel for me?”. Or if you find yourself thinking “Why can’t I do this now – I could do this 7 years ago!”, stop and turn it into “That’s interesting; I wonder how I can approach this differently?”. Or even “Do I have to do this at all?”…

    Spend 30 days prioritizing developing your bond or partnership with your horse over achieving perfection in what you’re doing. You can still work on the thing – but you’re approaching it through a different filter. 

    5 Prompts for Your Riding Journal

    If this is something you find yourself doing over and over again; use any of these 5 prompts and begin working on enjoying your rides and your time more with your horse.

          1. “What unrealistic expectations am I placing on myself as a rider, and how can I adjust them?”
          2. “If I took away all expectations and pressure, what would my ideal ride feel like?”
          3. “What are three ways I can measure success in my riding that don’t involve performance or outcomes?”
          4. “What would a joyful, pressure-free ride look like for me?”
          5. “What fears or worries come up when I think about my riding, and how can I reframe them into something more positive?”

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

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  • Inspiring You to Become Intentional in Your Riding & Training

    Inspiring You to Become Intentional in Your Riding & Training

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    Are you happy with where you are right now in your riding journey? If you’ve been feeling a little stuck or ‘behind’ regarding progress for you and your horse, today is the day you can begin changing all of that; whether you make it to the yard right now, or not.

    The key to feeling better about yourself as an equestrian is to take action and actually do something. However, you might find that you’re at this point where the action is the issue! It simply doesn’t feel fun, exciting, or interesting anymore!

    One of the major reasons riders stop riding is due to their riding and interactions with their horse beginning to feel ‘same-old, same-old’. Becoming intentional in your riding is a surefire remedy for this :)

    This is Your Responsibility

    As riders, we can often forget that horse riding, just like everything else in life, has a ‘honeymoon phase’ to it. The initial few weeks or months where it doesn’t really matter what happens, it’s all good and you love it! And calling it a ‘phase’ is very intentional because this season of your riding journey will come to an end.  Sooner or later.

    Are you guilty of getting caught up in the initial ‘novelty’ of riding or having a horse, only to begin wondering what’s gone wrong now that the ‘newness’ is fading?

    No matter where you are as a rider, one of your top responsibilities is to keep the conversation and the work fresh for you and your horse. Looking for ways to weave intentional curiosity and challenges into each interaction. Finding methods and exercises that will keep you both learning and developing.

    Becoming intentional in your riding is the most effective way of keeping you and your horse interested in the work – and in each other. 

    When the Novelty Begins to Wear Off

    So, in order for you to become intentional in your riding, you first need something to work towards. A goal or a specific outcome of sorts. This ‘something’ needs to be both achievable and realistic for you and your horse when combined with your current resources and seasons of life.

    But having the goal alone is not going to be enough to keep you both curious and interested; the key is to create an interesting and ‘doable’ plan to achieve that goal… 

    What’s interesting about setting a goal is that if it doesn’t really inspire you, the plan won’t ever really come together. This may have happened to you in the past; the same goal keeps showing up without ever really being worked towards.

    Find something that inspires curiosity in you. That is a key element to fleshing out your plan. The plan will come together when you can see a clear pathway leading you to become more intentional in your riding — step by step and ride by ride.

    You Don’t Need Your Horse To Get Started

    So, if you have been feeling a little ‘meh’ about riding and interacting with your horse, today is the perfect day to begin putting this into practice. There are so many ways you can begin looking for inspiration. Magazines, local equestrian expos, horse shows, podcasts, visit a tack shop, Pinterest, etc. Simply set aside some time today so that you can begin ‘perusing’ something equestrian-related and see what aligns with you.

    Planning doesn’t require your horse to be present. However, it does require you to advocate on behalf of your horse as though he was. Choose a goal & create a plan that will inspire you both. 

    And if it takes two weeks to get to the point where you’re actually working with your horse, so be it. The key here is to begin taking action today that will help you create some positive momentum for you both.

    Becoming More Intentional in Your Riding

    If you would like a little more hand-holding and some actual fun ideas to work on with your horse, Daily Strides Premium has all of that and more. Simply listening or watching the recording of one of our monthly live planning calls will help you to continue to make progress and move forward.

    If you have been feeling guilty about either not riding enough or not feeling as grateful and excited as you think you should about your riding, you can change that starting today. Find something that inspires to you. And then begin crafting a doable plan for you and your horse to help you work on this, intentionally, every single interaction together.

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

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  • How Your Horses Talents Can Help Develop His Weaker Points

    How Your Horses Talents Can Help Develop His Weaker Points

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    We all have talents. Things that seem to come naturally to us and that we excel at. Your horse is the same. And, in my experience, when we approach training our horses with the idea that we are helping them develop their talents, everyone is happier.

    Unfortunately, it is common practice for many people to focus on weaknesses. Both in the human and in the horse! And so many riders create training programs and riding plans based on what their horse is not so talented at doing.

    Doing something over and over again that you struggle with is not a recipe for happiness or success!

    Identifying Your Horses Talents

    All horses have specific things that they enjoy doing and are good at doing. The key to creating lasting success is to identify these areas and use them to strengthen the weaker areas.  Next time you’re working with your horse, notice what he truly enjoys doing, or what he does with ease and flow.

    Once you have identified your horse’s talents, you can then begin to use them to either introduce or ‘soften’ the things that he finds more difficult when it comes to training and working.

    Create a Plan to Focus on the Positive

    From here, I believe that it is your responsibility to get creative when creating a plan for your horse’s training or work. Ask yourself how you can use what your horse truly enjoys in order to help develop those weaker areas.

    So, for example, if your horse really enjoys working over grids or ground poles, how can you use these tools to help encourage the areas he’s not so good at? Or if he is fantastic at establishing and maintaining a rhythm in the canter, how can you use this to help him do the same in other gaits?

    By starting from the area of work or training that he enjoys, you set the tone for a better overall conversation throughout the ride.

    And because you regularly return to the good stuff, especially when things feel heavy, challenging, or tough, your horse will become more willing to continue with the work.

    Sprinkle Like Confetti

    It can be so tempting to only do the complex or challenging thing in each ride. To ‘push on through’ and improve it or create a breakthrough. And sometimes this is what may be needed in order for things to progress for you and your horse.

    Yet, doing the ‘hard stuff’ all of the time will soon lead to a sour horse and a frustrated rider… A stalemate of sorts!

    I personally believe in the ‘sprinkle like confetti’ approach… This simply means that if you were handed a map of each ride, after the ride, you would see the hard stuff inserted in small little amounts throughout the overall ride. The rest of the ride would be filled with ‘easy’ or ‘enjoyable’ stuff.

    By bookending the more difficult work with exercises based on your horse’s talents, the whole ride becomes more enjoyable.

    We Learn When We’re Having Fun

    Finally, it is important to consider how you feel when doing the things you enjoy and are good at. There is relaxation, rhythm, ease, and flow that go with these things. And those good feelings are multiplied when someone takes notice of what you are doing and focuses positive attention on them.

    This can often make us want to do more, even if challenges crop up every now and then.  The ‘good stuff’ helps us commit to working through the more difficult things. 

    Riders and horses learn more and retain more when they are enjoying the work. As riders, and trainers for our horses, it is important to remember this.  And commit to investing time, creativity, and enthusiasm into creating a riding plan that will inspire and delight your horse.

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

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  • 5 Ways to Have Fun with Your Horse This Month

    5 Ways to Have Fun with Your Horse This Month

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    Fun can mean lots of different things to lots of different riders.  And your idea of what is really fun can change as you develop and grow as a rider.  I always encourage my riders to be intentional about including fun stuff in their plan or schedule with their horses.

    So, as you plan out your weekly riding, see where you can include one or two activities that you are including with the simple intention of having fun and enjoying the time with your horse. 

    Now, again, notice how what may have been fun when you rode horses as a teenager, might not be as much fun anymore. Pay attention to your day-to-day activities with your horse.  Anywhere you notice you are really just ‘having fun’, go deeper and see where it takes you.

    1 .  Groundwork

    2 . Natural Horsemanship

    3 . Grooming

    4 .  Relaxing together

    5 . Trails or Hacking

    Now, obviously, these are just a few ideas to get you started.  I have a more comprehensive list HERE where I explain how to being including fun in your riding as well. 

    What I would love to hear from you is how you are planning on intentionally including fun into your riding this week.

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

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  • Planning Your Rides – Part 1: Fun

    Planning Your Rides – Part 1: Fun

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    All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy… Or so the saying goes. I tend to believe this is true. Especially when it comes to riders and their horses. Yes, ‘working’ is important. But, if you are only riding to ride… Well, maybe that is what is actually holding you back in your riding?

    I think that in order to really get the most from your riding plan to help you reach your goals, there are 3 key components. Not just work! Fun is just as important. And if you have been riding for any length of time, you will know that fun begins to wane after a while.

    One of the biggest reasons that riders don’t ride as much as they say they want to – is down to riding simply not being as much fun as it once was!

    Creating a plan for your riding is not just about the days you ride. It is also about finding a balance between 3 key elements that, I believe, are essential. Including these 3 elements will allow you to work towards your riding goals, while keeping things inspired, focused and interesting for all involved. Because, after all, that’s what Team Leaders do, right?!

    Part 1 – Fun

    Fun is one of my highest values. Seriously. I am all about it. I actively look for ways to make things more enjoyable. And I look for ways I drop or delegate things that are not so much fun for me. Imagine if you took this same approach to your riding?

    You see, I believe that most riders ride because riding is fun.

    Why do you ride? Because of how it makes you feel – or maybe ‘made’ you feel. And there is the rub for many riders. What starts as this fun, exciting, and new experience, every single ride, can soon become, well, a little same old, same old.

    You can make sure fun remains a big part of your day to day riding by intentionally planning enjoyable things for you and your horse to do, on a regular basis.

    So what is fun?

    Fun is enjoying the moment. The process. It is usually not an ‘end goal’ or ‘endpoint’.  We rarely say “I am struggling on through the mud now because I will feel like it was fun when I’m finished”. Fun is the actual activity. And, fun is for both horse and rider.

    It is something that you can do together and that has the single goal of allowing you both to enjoy yourselves and each other’s company.

    Many riders confuse activities that bring them joy with activities that are fun for all involved. I know a lot of horses who don’t find jumping the same jump or riding the same movement over and over again much fun. But their rider does!

    The rider ends the ride having had the time of their life. The horse ends by offering up a silent prayer of thanks for that particular 30 minutes of tediousness being over!

    Fun Can Mean Many Different Things

    I can bet that if you and I had a chat over a cup of tea, there would definitely be some things we could agree on as being ‘fun’. However, there are probably just as many that I would say are ‘fun’ and you would look at me as though I was crazy. Ironing, anyone?! Fun means different things to different people.

    And ‘fun’ can also change as you develop as a rider. Where initially the simple act of riding was fun, you may find that this just doesn’t bring you the same levels of enjoyment after a while. And this is where developing intention about what is fun becomes important.

    Fun also means different things to different horses.

    For some horses, practicing the course of fences is fun. Others enjoy the gallop on the sand at the beach. Or grazing in a safe paddock, maybe with their human close by reading a book or magazine. Massages, treats, natural horsemanship… There are endless possibilities and opportunities to discover what your horse enjoys.

    Ideas For Getting Intentional

    Here are a few suggestions to get you started with this. You may find that you are naturally drawn to one or two of these. Great. Insert them into your riding plan for this coming month.

          •  In-hand grazing
          •  A relaxing trail ride with a friend
          •  Loosely braiding or brushing your horse’s mane
          •  A leg or face massage for your horse
          •  Baking (you) and eating treats together
          •  A walk in-hand
          •  Grooming
          •  Natural horsemanship
          •  Picnic with your horse
          •  A trail ride with just the two of you…
          •  Observing your horse in the paddock
          •  A gallop in an open field
          •  Reading a book in the paddock, or beside the paddock (you know what’s safe for you)
          •  Full body massage for your horse
          •  A beach ride for both of you
          •  Brushing your horses tail

    These are just a few ideas, the list is endless. I am going to suggest choosing 2 or 3 and ‘slot’ them into your riding plan for this month.

    Trying New Things…

    Fun, just like everything else, has a comfort zone. A place where there is no excess tension there to make it feel a little different or ‘uncomfortable’. If confidence is an issue for you or/and your horse, stay in your comfort zone for a while to grow your confidence.

    Keep in mind that all things inside of our comfort zone can begin to feel ‘bland’ or ‘neutral’ after a while… Fun is no different…

    So, I am going to encourage you to step out of your comfort zone. I am challenging you to try something that you have not done before. Or something that you don’t think you, or your horse, would enjoy. Give it a go… See how it feels and, if you surprise yourself and discover it is, in fact, fun; great.

    You now have another activity to include in your ‘fun’ list for when you are creating your weekly riding plan.

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

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