Strides for Success

Tag: confidence

  • Why Enforcing Your Boundaries on the Ground will Improve Your Riding

    Why Enforcing Your Boundaries on the Ground will Improve Your Riding

    Are you a pushover? So many riders describe themselves this way. And this is unfortunate because what’s happening between you and your horse on the ground, is a good reflection of whats going on in the saddle.

    [fusebox_track_player url=”https://op3.dev/e/traffic.libsyn.com/dailystridespodcast/1164-Why-Enforcing-Your-Boundaries-on-the-Ground-will-Improve-Your-Riding.mp3″ title=”Why Enforcing Your Boundaries on the Ground will Improve Your Riding” social_linkedin=”true” social_pinterest=”true” social_email=”true” tweet_text=”Have you rules when it comes to your horse?” hashtag=”equestrianpodcast” twitter_username=”strides_success” ]

    Groundwork is so important. Every single conversation you have with your horse starts and ends on the ground. Failing to pay attention to what is happening there is simply setting you both up for frustration and maybe even anxiety.

    Why Enforcing Your Boundaries on the Ground will Improve Your Riding

    What Are Boundaries

    Boundaries are the rule book between you and your horse. They are where you define what’s ‘okay’ and what’s not. And it is the lack of a boundary that causes issues when the arise between horses and their riders.

    Often you won’t even recognize you have a boundary until your horse has overstepped it.

    Think back to the last time you felt a ‘negative’ or less than desirable emotion when working with your horse. I can bet it was because he either did something or didn’t do something, you expected of him. You see, you had a rule. A boundary. And your horse broke it.

    The good news is that once you begin noticing your boundaries, or your rules, you can begin actively enforcing them.

    Your Electric Fence System…

    Imagine having an electric fence around you. I say this because most horse owners and riders understand how effective this is when managing horses in paddocks and fields. If someone was to push up against your fence, your boundary, would they be shocked? Or would they be able to continue pushing until maybe the fence breaks?

    It is really important to realize that it is your responsibility to turn your electric fence on

    This is enforcing your boundary. There is a clear and definite point where you won’t tolerate the other person (or your horse’s) pushing. And what’s nice is that once they know where the fence is and that it is turned on, they begin respecting it.

    Are Boundaries Boring?

    It can feel that way initially, especially if you are used to the ‘free to do what you want when you want it’ style of horsemanship that many people now tout as being ‘natural’. However, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that if you have read this far, you’re having issues with your horse. So, maybe it is time to try tweaking things a little?

    Riders who have strong and clear boundaries can truly enjoy their time with their horse.

    They don’t experience the anxiety, nerves, worry, or trepidation that other riders do on a daily basis. This is because they are not always wondering what their horse will do if a ‘mood’ takes him. They are also very aware that these boundaries are first put in place when on the ground with their horse. They are then later carried over to when they are in the saddle. It all begins on the ground.

    Knowing The Limits

    Think about your horse in his usual paddock or field. He knows where those boundaries are. He feels safe when inside of those boundaries. Now, think about when he is put into a strange place he’s never been before. Often the very first thing he will do is figure out the new boundaries.

    Horses like to know where they can and cannot go. They thrive when the ‘limit’ or the boundary has been clearly defined for them.  This allows them to settle in and really begin to get to know the space they are in.

    Your job, as ‘team leader/trainer/rider’ for your horse, is to clearly define your boundaries. Then explain and show them to your horse. From here, you must enforce them. A boundary is not a boundary until it is enforced.

    Knowing the limits allows your horse the space to step into his own confidence and begin taking responsibility for part of the teamwork

    Clear Expectations & Rules

    A boundary is basically a rule. If there is anything in your riding, or in your interactions with your horse on the ground that is causing you to feel frustration, anxiety, or any other negative feels, it is because a rule is being broken. There is something there that you would like to happen differently.

    Noticing what we don’t want is often the first step to begin inning to define what we do want.

    Every time you ask your horse something, you have the desired outcome already imagined or mapped out in your head. It is when you don’t get this outcome that the negative feelings begin to show up. For example, if you put your outside leg back and expect canter, but your horse turns in or bucks. Or if you stop while leading your horse and he doesn’t. He runs you over as he walks on past you. It could be that you want him to lift his foot when you tap it in a certain place or a certain way. But he stubbornly refuses to budge, maybe even leans over onto said foot!

    Next time you feel yourself tensing up over something your horse did or did not do, celebrate! You have now been given a clear opportunity to begin redefining your rules and your boundaries

    Horses Have Boundaries Too…

    Think of a horse who become anxious or nervous. This is probably happening because a boundary he believes exists has been broken…

    Your horse also has his own set of rules. “If I feel or sense this, I must do that”. Or “if my ‘person’ does this, it means I must do that”. The trouble begins when the rules don’t align! Which is really common when you get a new horse or a horse that has been worked with by someone else.

    Re-training or re-schooling horses is simply redefining the rules or the boundaries to where you want them.

    A lot of negative feelings that are expressed by horses happen when the horse’s boundaries have been crossed. When the horse’s expectations of the rules have not been met or been broken. A conversation is two ways. Meaning that your horse must also have input and a say.

    When your horse feels comfortable, heard, and understood regarding boundaries, he will begin to express this in how he shows up. His confidence will grow and this results in a physical change in his way of going.

    Being Consistent and Fair

    Boundaries require consistency in order to be fair. I have helped so many riders transform their relationship with their horse by simply applying consistency to their rules. Rules on the ground and when in the saddle.

    It is unfair to the horse when the rider allows their current mood to dictate the rules.

    They flip from one day being absolutely hell-bent on doing ‘the thing’ the ‘right’ way. No wiggle room at all in their approach. It must be this – nothing else is acceptable. There is nothing wrong with this approach until the rider ‘flips’. Maybe they are tired or feeling rushed. Either way, this ’thing’ that they so diligently enforced the previous day is now no longer important. The rules change with their mood.

    In order for a boundary to be fair, it must be consistent. Even when it is uncomfortable or awkward to do so.

    If you do want to change the goalposts, I’m going to suggest creating a different playing field for you and your horse. A different arena. Or different tack. Maybe it’s the time of day. Things can change, but there must be a definition of the change.

    Clearer Boundaries = Better

    So many riders want to become ‘better’ when working with their horse. A better rider, or a better leader. You can do this today by becoming clearer on your boundaries. By simply showing up and deciding what is allowed and what’s not, you are already better than the last time you worked with your horse.

    And if you’re unsure of where to begin… Think about the last time you felt frustrated, angry, nervous, anxious when with your horse.

    Negative feelings are a clear indicator that a boundary has been either pushed up against or crossed. You might not have actually defined the boundary yet, but the feeling you are experiencing is telling you it is there and it needs reinforcing.

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

    Additional Resources on this Topic:-

  • Why You Need to Start Your Riding Journal Today

    Why You Need to Start Your Riding Journal Today

    I have a little ‘test’ for you… Can you describe, in full detail, each interaction you had with your horse 4 weeks ago? Yes, go back 4 weeks and each of the lunging or riding sessions you had with your horse, describe what happened. How was your mood? What did you focus on and how did that go?

    Why You Need to Start Your Riding Journal Today

    Now, I’m going to bet that you can probably give some information about those rides. However, can you see how all of the rides begin blending together with the passing of time? Specific details become blurred and more difficult to pinpoint.

    [fusebox_track_player url=”https://op3.dev/e/traffic.libsyn.com/dailystridespodcast/1159-Why-You-Need-to-Begin-Your-Riding-Journal-Today.mp3″ title=”Why You Need to Start Your Riding Journal Today” social_linkedin=”true” social_pinterest=”true” social_email=”true” tweet_text=”Do you ride horses? Have you a riding journal?” hashtag=”equestrian #horseriding” twitter_username=”strides_success” ]

    A riding journal is a simple way to ensure you have all the details in one place so that you can use them to help you develop your riding and your horse.

    And yet, why do we so often equate simple to worthless? We rather look for complicated because we think it guarantees better results. I don’t know the answer to this. But I’m asking you to try using a simple journal for your riding. And I’m making a bold statement that has the power to change everything…

    The Power of Objectivity

    How do you feel after each ride? It probably varies between a lot of different emotions. And the issue comes in when those emotions begin flavoring our opinion of each ride. As a trainer, I see, on an almost weekly basis, riders who become caught up in all the feels. They ‘think’ the ride was good and they are on cloud nine. Or, the opposite.

    The ride is just a ride. It’s really neither good nor bad. Your feelings about it are what make it that.

    And when you are holding on to all that emotion about the ride, it can be hard to see the real picture of what happened. Like a coach or trainer would if they were with you in the arena. Which is one of the big reasons a coach or trainer is so valuable? They are not getting all caught up in the emotion. They are looking at each ride objectively.

    A journal will allow you to do this for yourself. To review each ride a month from now, minus all of the emotion, so that you can really learn from it. You can use that information to adapt and adjust going forward.

    Begin Looking for Patterns

    So once you can look at your riding from a different perspective, patterns will begin to emerge. I have a previous post HERE about what to actually take note of with regards to your riding journal. Some of the things that can almost seem trivial have the potential to be really eyeopening for you.

    The time of day and your energy levels can make all the difference in your attitude towards your riding.

    Rides that happen close to unpleasant interactions or stressful reoccurring situations is another one to look out for. Feeding times and your horse’s attitude can play a huge role in his focus and dedication. The subtle changes that show up 2 or 3 days after you ride a particular exercise. Or ride in a certain arena or area.

    Noticing the patterns will allow you to begin tweaking your schedule to get more of the ‘good’ rides in. And if every ride is truly a stepping stone, this can begin making all the difference to your progress in the long run.

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

    Additional Resources on This Topic:-

     

  • Building Confidence in Yourself as an Equestrian

    Building Confidence in Yourself as an Equestrian

    Confidence in Yourself as an Equestrian
    Confidence is trusting yourself and your abilities to handle the situation you find yourself in. Right now, we are all finding ourselves in a situation that we have never before found ourselves in.   The COVID-19  outbreak has changed the landscape for most equestrians.
    [smart_track_player url=”http://traffic.libsyn.com/dailystridespodcast/1143-Confidence-in-Yourself-as-an-Equestrian.mp3″ title=”Building Confidence as an Equestrian” social_linkedin=”true” social_pinterest=”true” social_email=”true” tweet_text=”Is your confidence in your riding beginning to wobble a little? Here is how to get things back on track…” hashtag=”equestrian” twitter_username=”strides_success” ]
    Many riders are no longer able to ride.  Many riders are having to go it alone.  Some for the first time.  All of this is leading to a lot of riders experiencing a crisis of confidence.
    However, you can do this.  With a few simple ‘step by step’ actions, you can come through this, especially if you are lacking confidence in your abilities to navigate this alone. 

    1. Keep Moving Forward

    One of the biggest concerns many riders are experiencing right now is the thought that they might ‘mess things up’ with their horse.  “If I’m not doing things perfectly, my horse’s training will deteriorate”.  Let’s be honest.  This is a possibility.  Especially if you have been relying heavily on your trainer for support and your confidence is tied to them being present with you in the arena.
    However, keep in mind that horses are resilient.  They bounce back.  Re-schooling can happen if necessary down the line.  
    The very fact that you are worried about ‘ruining’ your horse tells me that you probably won’t.  Because you are conscientious and responsible.  So go and play a little now.  Don’t allow these thoughts to prevent you from taking action.

    1. Identify What You Are Afraid of Happening

    Most people I know, with the exception of my husband, tend to jump straight to what ‘might’ happen.  The might is rarely good.  These past few weeks, I have seen so many riders do the same thing.  “I might fall off”.  “What if I damage my horse’s legs / back / mouth?”.  “I just don’t know what to do, and I’m worried I do the wrong thing”.
    All valid worries.  However, all are more ‘worst-case scenarios’.  Yes, these things ‘might’ happen.  However, they are all things that you can actively work towards preventing them happening as well.
    If you can get clear on the ‘thing’ that is actually holding you back, you can begin identifying ways you can lessen the risk of that thing happening. 

    3. Now Name the ‘Easy’ for You in the Saddle

    Start where you feel confident and happy.  For some riders, this might be simply tacking up.  It could be working on walk in a small arena.  Maybe transitions in and out of the canter.
    Remind yourself that you can do things!  Then make a point of doing those things. 
    Allow the areas of your riding that you feel comfortable and happy with to guide you in moving forward. Be intentional about them and use them as a way to begin allowing confidence to be the dominant feeling in every ride.
    I then suggest saying there for as long as you need to shift your mindset to one where you ‘can’ do things…

    3. Begin Blending the Hard with the Easy

    Once you are feeling comfortable and confident, you can begin revisiting ‘hard’ again.  But this time you are doing so with intention.  The intention is what will make all the difference for you at this point.
    Consciously begin trying the ‘hard things’.  Make a decision to begin including them in your riding. Sprinkle them throughout your ride.
    What is key here is that you are intentional about visiting these areas.  Staying for a short period.  Noticing the feelings.  Then being just as intentional about moving back to where you feel more comfortable.
    Over time, your comfort zone will expand to include the things that you feel are ‘hard’ right now.

    4. Find What is Truly Fun

    The treadmill that you were on regarding your riding has stopped.  You need to consciously make the decision to step off of it!
    This may have been a lesson program or coaching program.  It could have been a competitive schedule or training program.  Maybe your current barn or the people you ride with.
    Recognizing that you now have time to assess and evaluate what you truly enjoy in your riding is the key to putting a silver lining on the current global pandemic for you and your horse.
    Happy Riding
    Lorna

    Additional Resources to Help You:-

  • Your Mindset; What Do You Believe About Your Riding?

    Your Mindset; What Do You Believe About Your Riding?

    Your Mindset; What Do You Believe About Your Riding?
    I am fascinated by how our minds work.  I love seeing the co-relation between our beliefs and thoughts play out in our physical day to day lives.  Meeting and chatting with riders for the first time is one of my favorite things to do.  I pay close attention.  I love listening to the stories they tell me about themselves and their riding.
    [smart_track_player url=”http://traffic.libsyn.com/dailystridespodcast/1127-What-do-You-Believe-About-Your-Riding.mp3″ title=”Your Mindset; What Do you Believe About Your Riding?” social_linkedin=”true” social_pinterest=”true” social_email=”true” tweet_text=”What do you believe about your riding – and is it potentially halting you and your horse in your tracks?” hashtag=”equestrian” twitter_username=”Strides_Success” ]
    So many riders have themselves convinced they cannot do something, and therefore take action from that place or that perspective.  The place where the thing they want won’t work.  This versus riders who believe they can do something.  They will take action based on their beliefs, and usually prove themselves right.

    Your Beliefs = Your Results

    What we believe is crucial to the results we get in our riding.  This, of course, is not just limited to riding.  It can be applied to any area of our lives.  I personally believe (there is that word, again!) that this is due to how we ‘show up’.
    Henry Ford was the one who said whether we think we can or we can’t, we’re right.  This principle plays out every day in your life. It is why you are in the situation you are in as you read this blog post.  It is why you and your horse are working on the thing you are working on – or not.
    Your beliefs are shaping your conversation with your horse. 

    Begin Questioning Your Beliefs

    Today, take some time as you drive to the barn or tack up to think about what you believe in your riding. So many of our beliefs are formed long ago, and while they may have been true and helped keep you safe then, they are actually holding you back now.
    A good place to start is to think about why you are doing things the way you are doing things. 
    Begin looking for areas that are no longer serving you in your riding and then begin the process of changing them.  This can be as simple as finding something contrary that proves this does not have to be true for you and your riding.
    Your brain will actively go looking for examples to prove you right.  By beginning to question what you believe is right, you can begin to see new situations and examples.  Those examples have always been there; however, it is just that now you have given your brain something else to look for.
    I have found that by looking for others who have done what I previously believed impossible is a great place to begin.  Seek them out – and then each time you find yourself thinking it can’t be done, think about that person and the example they are leading with.

    Mindset Awareness is Ongoing

    Finally, keep in mind that your mind’s number one job is to keep you safe.  Therefore, each new level you reach on your riding journey will result in your mind creating another set of beliefs as to why you should stay there.  You will have to continuously question why you are thinking a certain way and continuously look for new ways to think differently.
    Beliefs do not have to be part of your thinking forever… You can change your beliefs.  All it takes is an open and curious approach to ‘why’ you are doing what you are doing.
    Happy Riding
    Lorna
    If you would like to dive a little deeper into your mindset as an equestrian, I am inviting you to join me inside of the Equestrian Fitness Challenge.  It is free and the focus is on holistic fitness as a rider; emotional, mental and physical.  You can join, for free when you CLICK HERE

    Resources to help you with this topic:-

  • 4 Essentials for Getting Started with Lunging for Riding

    4 Essentials for Getting Started with Lunging for Riding

    4 Essentials for getting Started with Lunging

    Lunging is one of those rare things to do with horses that has a pretty low ‘barrier to entry’. Getting started is pretty easy and ‘do-able’ for most riders. All that is needed is a few essentials and most riders can get started and off to the races with their horse.

    [smart_track_player url=”https://op3.dev/e/traffic.libsyn.com/dailystridespodcast/1119-4-Essentials-to-Get-Started-with-Lunging-that-will-Help-Your-Riding.mp3″ title=”4 Essentials to Getting Started on the Lunge with Your Horse” social_linkedin=”true” social_pinterest=”true” social_email=”true” tweet_text=”So…. What do you really need to successfully lunge your horse? A lot less than you’d think actually…” hashtag=”lunging #equestrian #podcast” twitter_username=”strides_success” ]

    This is fantastic news because lunging, in my opinion, is something most horse and rider combinations can only benefit from including in their training routine. This is regardless of experience, training, age, discipline, goals, etc. It is also something that many riders can use to build their own confidence.

    Lunging is unique in that you don’t have to be a great rider.  Yet, your lunging can have a sizable positive difference on your horse’s training.

    So, all that being said, there are a few things that I feel are essential for lunging. This is lunging in a way that will help you to positively impact your conversation when you do get into the saddle. Lunging for Riding. Not just lunging for lunging sakes.

     1. A Small ‘Flatish’ Area to Lunge In

    The first thing you need is somewhere to actually lunge your horse. This does not have to be a lunging arena or round pen. It can be anywhere that you have a ‘flattish’ piece of land that you can mark off and use. It can be the corner of a field. Or the end of a larger arena.

    Your horse’s safety is paramount. Make sure that there are no rocks, stones, holes, poached parts. Lunging in 12 inches of mud is not enjoyable for anyone involved, horse or rider. Many riders think that they must only work their horse in a dedicated arena with especially tailored equestrian surface. This is simply not true. In fact, many horses that only work in these ‘optimal’ conditions, struggle when they get out and into the real world.

    Please don’t allow the lack of a lunging arena to prevent you from using this versatile tool with your horse. Trust me, your horse is more than able to navigate a few ups and downs.

    He will cope just fine when working over less than perfectly manicured surfaces. However, what I do suggest is taking the time to erect a temporary fence or barrier around your lunging area. It helps when you initially begin to set boundaries. I also find it helps to keep both horse and rider a little more focused. Again, not essential, but I do suggest putting one up if you have not lunged before.

     2. A Good Quality Lunge Line

    A lunge line or lunge rope is essential if you want to lunge your horse in a way that will compliment your riding. Remember, I am talking specifically about Lunging for Riding here. I realize that many riders, maybe you as well, practice loose lunging or free lunging. This is not what I am referring to when I speak about lunging.

    Just like when you are in the saddle, your contact on the lunge is an essential part of the overall communication and conversation. The lunge line is your contact when you are lunging.

    I am going to suggest splashing out and buying a good quality lunge line. It is a personal pet peeve of mine when someone hands me a flimsy line to work with. They blow in the wind. Knotting up is a regular occurrence. Really, they are just a pain to work with!

    Lunging, just like riding, should be enjoyable for all involved. Investing in a good quality lunge line will definitely improve the overall experience for you.

     3. A Lunging Whip

    Now, I know from past experience that many riders are against the use of a lunge whip. You might be one of those riders. If so, please hear me out with this… The lunging whip is not for hitting or whipping the horse. It is not to hurt or inflict any sort of pain, whether that be physical or emotional, on the horse.

    Your lunging whip is used the way that you use your legs in the saddle. It is part of a balance of aids. It works with your other aids in order for you to be crystal clear when you ‘converse’ with your horse.

    Just like your legs when you are riding, your lunge whip is merely part of a bigger, ongoing, conversation. You would never kick your horse’s sides to the point where he is bleeding or bruised. Well, the same goes for your lunge whip. It is not overused.

    Your lunging whip is used with your body position in order to either convey ‘forward’, ‘neutral’ or ‘whoa’ to your horse. Your seat is used with your legs to do the same from in the saddle.

     4. Your Attitude or Mindset

    The final piece to the puzzle to get you up and running with your lunging. One of the fantastic things about working with your hose on the lunge is the fact that you have this different perspective. You are still using your aids to communicate with your horse.  However, you are doing it from the perspective a trainer or coach would have. This allows you to see so much more.

    Now you can begin to see how powerful one or two lunging sessions a week could be.  They have the potential to move your riding, and your horse’s overall development, forward.

    The other thing that working on the lunge allows you to see is where you are perhaps negatively influencing your horse from the saddle. When we lunge, we take the rider out of the equation. No more shuffling, shifting, rubbing, bracing, banging, slouching or any of the other things we as riders do, often unbeknownst to ourselves, that influence our horses.

    Lunging allows your horse to get on with the important work of figuring things out, without any outside interference from a well meaning rider.

    Getting Started This Week

    So, I’ve told you what I feel are the absolute essentials for successful lunging with your horse. Do you need more ‘bells and whistles’ further down the line?  Sure, if you want to add them on, you can. Things like boots for your horse’s legs are always a good idea. I’m going to assume you are already using boots and bandages in your day to day riding. If so, keep doing what you would normally do when you ride.

    A helmet and gloves are also a must when it comes to lunging a horse. Again, I am going to assume you have both of those already.  Use them, just as you would when you are mounted up and in the saddle.

    Finally, remember that when it comes to training or coaching, the coach or trainer must meet the horse and rider where they are right now. Their current physical, mental and emotional capabilities and perspectives.  To really successfully lunge your horse, you must meet him where he is right now. Working on the lunge is just like riding, it takes time to develop and get right. Allow for that.

    You can get started to with the “3 Days to Successful Lunging” Guided Audio Training
    , even if you or your horse have never lunged before.

    Happy Riding

    Lorna

    Lunging for Riding – Online Program

    If you are interested in taking your conversation on the lunge a little further, check out my Lunging for Riding digital program. It is fully online, meaning you can do this from anywhere in the world.  The program will give you four weeks of step by step guidance on working this way with your horse.  4 exercises a week that will move your horse forwards on the lunge.

    The best part is that you do not have to have any experience of working your hosre on the lunge in order to begin using this program.  I will give you step by step guidance to help you begin to feel confident and excited about lunging your horse. 

    CLICK HERE TO BEGIN SUCCESSFUL LUNGING OF YOUR HORSE TODAY

    Resources to help with this topic:-

    For more information visit the links below

  • Having Realistic Expectations for Your Riding

    Having Realistic Expectations for Your Riding

    Having Realistic Expectations for Your Riding

    So what do you expect to happen when you mount up?  Very often we can have either unrealistic expectations of our horses.  We can also find ourselves having negative expectations; usually not intentional, but they happen!

    Horses are great at living up to expectations.  However, they do have to be realistic.  Expecting your horse to perform difficult movements when we have not taken the time to build a solid foundation is unrealistic.  It is these unrealistic expectations that trip so many riders up. 

    In fact, unrealistic expectations are one of the biggest reasons riders fail to make progress with their horses.

    [smart_track_player url=”https://op3.dev/e/traffic.libsyn.com/dailystridespodcast/1114-Having-Realistic-Expectations-for-Your-Riding.mp3″ title=”Having Realistic Expectations for Your Riding” social_linkedin=”true” social_pinterest=”true” social_email=”true” tweet_text=”What do you ‘expect’ to happen when you get into the saddle? ” hashtag=”equestrian #horseriding” twitter_username=”strides_success” ]

    The conversations with your horse begin with the conversation going on in your head.  Your conversation with yourself.  So many riders create stories to explain why things are the way they are.  We do this with all the elements of our lives.  The unfortunate fact is that a lot of these conversations can be really limiting. 

    How You Think of Yourself in the Saddle

    How you feel about your abilities as a rider will influence your plans with your horse.  These plans can be actually written down plans, using a pen and paper.  Or the plans in your head that you make before each ride.  These plans can go in two very different directions.

    The first is the ‘this is going to be great’ route.  This is where you have seen or experienced something and you wish to replicate it in your upcoming ride.  

    You feel good and confident about being able to make it happen.  You find yourself thinking about how good it will feel to actually see it happening with your horse in the ride.  It is a positive feeling.  You feel excited and eager to get into the saddle. 

    The second is the ‘this is not going to be too great at all’ route.  This is where you have had or seen something negative happening and relate it to your upcoming ride. 

    ‘I feel off last week, I’ll probably fall again’.  Or ‘my horse struggles with that transition, today won’t be any different’.  The feelings as you mount up are usually negative.  You may feel anxious, worried, nervous, fearful, or just plain bored!  

    You might also feel like this is ‘deja vu’.  The same 30 minutes in the saddle repeating itself over and over again. 

    Your Expectations Shape Your Approach

    The key to beginning to use your expectations as a tool to help you in your riding is to notice them, to begin with.  How are you feeling as you tack up or mount up?  What are you expecting to happen?  What is your mindset like going into the ride?

    Noticing how you are thinking and feeling about each ride will allow you to begin changing your approach.  By changing your approach, you now have the power to change the outcome. 

    If you jump fences with your horse, you will already know how important a good approach is.  A slight or minor change in the approach to a jump has the potential to change the whole outcome.  The same applies with most things, both in riding and in life.

    Getting clear on what you want to make happen – and then tailoring your approach towards that outcome puts you in a much better position to achieve it. 

    Again, if you regularly jump you will know that wishing, hoping and praying will sometimes get you over the fence; but all results are going to be hit and miss.  They are left to chance.  Working towards improving your approach will begin to see you increase your success rate.  

    Putting on Your Blinkers

    If you have ever been to the race track or watched racing on the television, you will probably have seen a few horses with blinkers on.  The blinkers are to help focus the horse.  Help them run their own race, rather than being distracted by all the commotion going on around them. 

    Your expectations can be like ‘blinkers’ for you and your horse. They will help you focus and stay on track with your riding.

    By becoming really clear on what you are working towards and then being open to making adjustments in your approach to get there, you will put yourself in a far better position to actually reach your goals. 

    Setting Realistic Expectations

    So a few weeks ago, I sent out an email all about expectations.  I received a reply which I feel actually represents so many riders around the world.  It went a little along the lines of “I watch videos about riding, and I feel really positive going out into the arena.  However, after thirty minutes of riding, we leave the arena feeling frustrated because it didn’t work.  I had the same ride I always have.”

    The long and short of it was that they didn’t agree with me regarding expectations.  They felt that setting expectations were only serving to set them up for disappointment when they were not reached.

    This is where being realistic with your expectations is really important. Can you really explain what you want to your horse to do in a way that he a) understands and b) can realistically do?

    In order for your expectations to help you make progress in your riding, they have to be realistic.  Asking a three-year-old, just backed, horse to perform a perfect half pass is unrealistic.  Regardless of how many videos you watch, the books you read and the prayers you offer up!  

    Making Adjustments Along the Way

    Once you have chosen a realistic expectation for you and your horse which represents where you are at that moment in your journey together, you can begin making it happen.  Things can be planned out.  Some riders make the plans on paper, some do so in their heads before they ride.  However you choose to do it, I want to point out something that is true of almost all plans…

    Your plans will have to be adjusted along the way.  Your approach will have to be ‘monitored’ and ‘checked’ regularly in order to reach your expectation.  

    Think of jumping again.  You can choose the best line in the world.  A great approach.  As you begin moving towards the fence, however, you may find that the balance shifts.  You have to make an adjustment, immediately and as you are still on the approach, in order to get you both back on track to meet that jump as you want.

    The ability to make adjustments and be supple in your approach is key to actually turning your expectations into reality.

    Life Happens…

    When we put this into practice, you will find that life will throw you curve balls every now and then.  Your horse may become lame or lose a shoe.  Your work requires more hours or travel that was unexpected or unplanned. Your child or partner gets sick and needs your time and attention…  The list is endless when it comes to potential things that can derail our plans. 

    The key to making your expectations a reality is accepting these things are going to happen.  

    Allowing yourself to become frustrated will not move things forward.  In fact, it will only serve to move you backward.  Look at how you can adjust your plan to fit in with whatever is happening.  Maybe 30 minute rides 5 days a week have to become 10-minute groundwork sessions 2 days a week for a few weeks.  

    Another obstacle that has the potential to throw you off course is either you or your horse not developing as quickly as you thought.  If this is your particular frustration; I’m going to suggest taking a deep breath…

    Why do you want to achieve the goal?  I’m sure it has a lot to do with something around building a better relationship with your horse.  

    This is true if it is a groundwork, a flatwork or a jumping goal.  So, how can you explain things better?  How can you feel more confident about understanding something, and therefore explaining it to your horse so he too can understand and follow through?

    Creating Your Expectations

    So, what are you expecting to happen the next time you get into the saddle? Are you setting both yourself and your horse up to reach those goals?  

    Happy Riding

    Lorna

    Other links and resources to help you on this topic:-