Strides for Success

Tag: Mental

  • Are Your Outdated Expectations Ruining Your Riding Progress?

    Are Your Outdated Expectations Ruining Your Riding Progress?

    [fusebox_track_player url=”https://op3.dev/e/traffic.libsyn.com/dailystridespodcast/1232_Are_Your_Expectations_Ruining_Your_Riding.mp3″ title=”Are Your Outdated Expectations Ruining Your Riding?” social_linkedin=”true” social_pinterest=”true” social_email=”true” tweet_text=”Equestrian mindset workout on the podcast this week….” hashtag=”horsepodcast” twitter_username=”strides_success” ]

    Isn’t it amazing how so many riders just seem to ‘know’ what will happen each time they ride? They have certain expectations that, almost magically, seem to always come true for them. Unfortunately, the keywords in that sentence are ‘for them’.

    I see time and again how riders, regardless of what is really happening, will define each ride based on their beliefs and expectations.

    And, for most of these riders, these beliefs and expectations are simply untrue or unrealistic.  Meaning that they are creating a cycle where they simply repeat the same ride, the same month, the same year, over and over again with their horse.

    And all because they are unaware of how much their expectations are impacting their outcome.

    Creating an Invisible Bottleneck

    These often unknown and invisible beliefs can really play havoc with your progress as a rider. From becoming the underlying reason you lose motivation to actually go tack up, to help you feel a little like a prophet of doom where each ride is concerned!

    If you have been ‘trying’ to develop yourself or your horse – but have seen little to no success, I’m willing to bet that there is something going on in your head that has you both stuck

    The challenge is beginning to figure out what that is. When you begin to see your beliefs for what they really are – both conscious and subconscious – the work can begin. You can then begin to dismantle them and find new ways of thinking (and believing) that will actually serve you and your horse on your journey together.

    The Filter of an Expectation

    Having a certain belief or expectation is like putting colored goggles on. Anything you see will be affected by the lens of the goggles. It doesn’t matter where you see it, or when you see it – it is all through the colored goggle lense.

    When you believe or expect a certain thing to happen, you also see everything through the lens of that belief. It will literally color every experience you have – until you remove it.

    It can be frustrating to see riders ‘blame’ everything that happens with their horse on a certain belief that they have. Every unsuccessful schooling session. All of their areas need more work. Even random happenings and events become part of the story of their expectation!

    One of the best things you can do for yourself and your horse is to begin identifying these unhelpful expectations – and then begin dismantling them!

    Unable to See…

    Years ago I worked with a rider who struggled to keep her heels down. We are talking tippy tow ballerina style in the saddle. Any reminders, suggestions, or blatant ‘telling’ her to get more weight into the heel was met with excuses, objections, or the absolute instance that her heels were down.  She clearly thought I was blind!

    I suggested a video review session together – and during it, I noticed something.  She was literally latching on to every second of the video where her heels were down.  With an air of triumph, she would point out “Look, my heels are down”.

    Her mind was so invested in the belief that she was right, it wouldn’t allow her to see a clear truth – down for 5 seconds at random points when reminded, does not constitute ‘consistently down’!

    What Is Your Mind Looking For?

    Your mind wants to keep you safe.  And it also wants the path of least resistance.  When it can combine both of those things together, it feels like it’s winning!  Unfortunately, this is usually not the best combination for growth in our lives.

    Developing or getting better at something, growing, often requires us to become uncomfortable; and a lot of our beliefs try to prevent us from experiencing that unpleasant feeling!

    If you have found yourself saying something over and over again to do with your abilities as a rider, or your horse while being ridden – that needs to be examined! 

    Things like; “My horse always spooks when it’s windy”, or “my horse hates cantering, he always bucks”.  Seemingly harmless things like “I struggle to ride without stirrups”, or “my heels just won’t stay down”.   Or even things that may seem very true like “I don’t have time to actually train my horse” or “no matter how much we train, we don’t make progress”…

    All of the above statements started with a single thought which, for whatever reason, your brain decided was absolutely true – and it is now a belief for you and your riding. 

    And our minds look for ways to prove our beliefs correct.  Always.  They are ‘evidence gatherers’… They pay little attention to whether or not the thought is actually true anymore, but rather focus on proving or backing up the initial belief.

    Looking for Evidence

    Evidence can be many things.  It can be the sudden number of cars exactly like your new one on the road… Your mind ‘proving’ to itself that it did, indeed, make the right choice when purchasing the car.

    Evidence can also be failing to see the small progress you make each ride, in order to keep enforcing a story where you remain in the same place and therefore ‘safe’.  It can be looking for any sudden movement to ‘prove’ that your horse is indeed spooky.  Or any hint of an unbalanced step, or a difference of opinion in order to show you that your horse does indeed want to buck and throw you off…

    The fact of the matter is that whatever your mind believes, it will automatically – without hesitation – look for examples to strengthen that belief. 

    Some of this evidence will come from your own day-to-day experiences, and others will come from other riders.  It makes no difference.  Evidence is evidence… And it will all be used to strengthen the case for whatever belief you have when it comes to riding.

    Not All Expectations Are Bad

    Some expectations are fantastic and serve us so well.  I have seen riders who, purely because they believed they could, were able to do things that normally I would have said ‘wait for a little ‘too… And, they not only do them, but they also do them quite well.  Again, because they believe that they can.  Some people call this ‘beginners luck’.  Maybe it is – but it also works well at the moment :)

    Other riders simply believe that because they are training, they will improve.  They focus on looking for evidence of this – and is usually the case, they find it.

    I find that having positive expectations helps so much when working with riders and horses.  I feel that consciously bringing their attention to the ‘little wins’ helps to build confidence and momentum.

    However, I also spend a lot of time explaining that ‘what got you here, will rarely get you there’.  Meaning that just because this one thing works now, does not mean it will stay that way forever.

    It is so important to try and look at everything in your riding through unfiltered, unbiased, and unprejudiced eye. 

    Changing a Belief or Expectation

    To successfully change something, you have to first know it is there.  Become aware of it.  Go back to the stories you tell.  For me, a personal one the past few years involved time and commitments. To change this, so that regular riding once again became part of my day-to-day activities, I simply thought to myself “What is the opposite of this? What would that sound like?”.

    In my case, the opposite was “I am self-employed, I work from home, and I live on a horse farm – there is at least one opportunity each day to work with a horse”.

    Once I had the ‘statement’ or ‘thought’, I simply put my mind to work, consciously, to look for proof or evidence of this.  

    Now, initially, it took quite a bit of diligence and consistency on my part.  My mind clearly believed that it was much better for me to believe the old thought!  However, each time I caught myself actually speaking something to prove that old belief, I change it.  I simply changed the words coming out of my mouth… From there, I put my mind to task regarding creating a story around this new thought.  One that felt ‘real’ and ‘true’.

    Remember, our minds are a tool we can use to improve our life.  However, if you just let it run on autopilot, your life will probably either stay the same – or detoriate! 

    Creating Lasting Change

    At the moment, this current new belief is serving me well.  I am still aware enough of it to consciously look for opportunities to ‘prove’ it or find evidence for it.  And my mind has also begun to subconsciously do the same.  Not always, but I have noticed a few occasions!

    I really do believe that, in your riding, if you are allowing your mind to run on autopilot, you are doing both yourself and your horse a disservice. 

    Be aware of the words you are saying about your riding, your horse, and your journey together.  Always second-guess them.  “Is this actually true for me right now in this moment?” is often a good question to ask yourself.

    Don’t simply accept everything you think as the truth…  Ask to be shown evidence ‘for’ the stuff you want.  Give your mind a job and ask it to ‘prove this for me’…

    Being aware of this one simple thing as the power to change everything for you and your horse…

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

    Additional Resources to Help Riders

  • [Training Scale Series] Part 6 – Collection; Starting Today?

    [Training Scale Series] Part 6 – Collection; Starting Today?

    [fusebox_track_player url=”https://op3.dev/e/traffic.libsyn.com/secure/dailystridespodcast/1210_Collection_is_It_Possible_for_Most_Riders.mp3″ title=”Collection; For Most Riders?” social_linkedin=”true” social_pinterest=”true” social_email=”true” tweet_text=”Collection; is it attainable for most riders?” hashtag=”equestrianpodcast” twitter_username=”strides_success” ]

    For many riders, collection can feel like an exotic and luxury destination that they can only dream about visiting.  It can feel very much outside the realms of possibility when they consider their riding abilities and their horse’s abilities as well.

    Now, the flip side of this is that there are also a smaller group of riders who feel entitled to go there every day. No preparation, no visa requirements. Just click your heels three times and, voila! Collection. Hmmm… In this case, the collection they’re visiting is unlikely to be the real thing; rather a cheap imitation!

    And finally, we have the riders who visit collection often with their horses.  They have put in the time, invested the effort, and now they can visit regularly for short trips. 

    For most riders, collection is not somewhere they want to stay forever… Just a place to visit in order to enhance the journey.

    This is part 6 in a series about the training scale and how it applies to your horse.  We have already covered rhythm, suppleness, contact, impulsion, and straightness.  Collection, the topic of this post, is the final step of the scale.

    What is Collection?

    Because it is situated at the ‘top’ or pinnacle of the training scale, collection requires a great amount of physical, emotional, and mental development of both horse and rider.  This is due to the energy being directed ‘up’ rather than ‘out’.  I realize this can sound strange but bear with me…

    Imagine yourself jogging along in a straight line. As you imagine this, feel the rhythm and tempo to your jogging.  The one, two, one, two.  Now, imagine you are going to direct the energy ‘out’ in front of you, without changing the rhythm or tempo.  Your legs would stretch longer with each stride, yes?  You would cover more ground with each step you take.

    Now imagine that, again, without changing rhythm or tempo, you are going to direct the energy up. 

    You will take short strides, but instead of stretching your legs out, you will lift them up so that your knees are moving towards your chest each time you ‘run’. This is a little like collection.

    If you really want to experience it, try the above-mentioned experiment for yourself, and notice how much physical strength, fitness, coordination, balance, and focus it takes for you to maintain the rhythm while lifting your legs as high as you physically can and covering as little ground as possible while doing so.

    Collection, in riding, does not always mean covering as little ground as possible, this is just so that you can feel the physical impact of it on your body.  However, it does mean changing the direction of the energy; up rather than out. 

    How Developed Must My Horse Be?

    How long is a piece of string?!  This is a difficult question to answer because contrary to popular belief, I think that there are ways you can begin working on collection pretty early in your horse’s training.  I will chat more about that later in this post.

    What is important to remember when working on any principle in the training scale is that they are all built on each other. If your horse can maintain the basics of rhythm, suppleness, and contact, for short periods, you can begin asking bigger questions.

    And how you will know he is struggling or more work is needed, is when you ask the question, either relaxation, rhythm, suppleness, or contact (but usually relaxation or rhythm) become difficult to maintain. 

    Whenever you reach a point where you are struggling to maintain one or the other, pause and ask yourself “Is the question too big and do I need to go back a step or two?” or “How can I support him to maintain the basics for longer while we answer this question?”.

    Emotional, Mental, and Physical Development

    Have you ever tried to do something that, technically speaking,  you ‘should’ be able to do?  Maybe it was a walk across a 4 meter long balance beam?  Or climb a ladder?  Maybe walk your horse around the arena off the lead line?  The point I want to make is that while you physically could do the thing, your emotional or mental development on being able to do that thing was not quite a strong as you would have liked.

    You may have felt nervous because you doubted your capabilties.  Or you might have experienced anxiety or overwhelm because you just didn’t understand how it all worked and what you were supposed to do. 

    Your horse experiences the same issues.  As riders, we all know the horse who can jump the jump, physically,  But that same horse actually cannot jump the jump because he doesn’t believe he can jump the jump.

    Asking for anything too early in your horse’s training will often result in not only a lack of physical development to do the thing, which often leads to injury.  But also a lack of mental (how he understands it) and emotional (how he feels about it and his abilities) development as well.  If any one of these is missing or underdeveloped, it will create a challenge.

    Developing Physically

    Now, I do believe that, as riders and trainers for our horses, we can ‘loan’ them some of our confidence.  This same principle also works the other way around when a novice rider is on a schoolmaster. But confidence will only take anyone and any horse so far.

    Your horse’s body has to be physically developed in order to maintain any sort of true collection for any period of time. 

    You can begin doing this today by working on the other elements or steps of the scale.  Riding exercises and school movements just to ride exercises and school movements won’t improve your horse’s training in the long run.

    Having a specific focus or goal for each exercise, such as increasing suppleness, creating contact, or similar, will result in your horse becoming stronger; physically, mentally, emotionally. 

    Collection Early in Your Training

    And collection can be worked on much earlier than many riders realize.  One of my favourite ways of introducing this concept to horses is through the turn on the forehand.

    In order to achieve a true and correct turn on the forehand, the rhythm must be maintained.  So too must the flexion; suppleness.  The connection and engagement must also be present, both through the hindquarters, the core of the horse, and the contact itself. The energy must continue to be created and directed within the container; impulsion.  And, the horse must remain straight while moving laterally.

    Finally, in order to maintain the rhythm of the walk, while performing the turn on the forehand, the horse must lift his front legs up – not out. This is collection. 

    Will it be perfect straight out of the gate?  No!  In fact, a truly high-quality turn on the forehand requires a lot of development and training, for both horse and rider.  But it is a great introduction to the concept.  And one that is easily understood by both horse and rider.

    Collection for the Rider

    Finally, before I leave this topic I want to touch on how important all of the development is for the rider as well.  I firmly believe that the concepts of the training scale are not just for horses, but also for riders.  And I also know that the level the rider develops will, eventually, dictate the level the horse develops to as well.

    Many riders struggle with suppleness. It is a key area that needs work, especially if you are to work with your horse and all of the energy involved in true collection. 

    If you and your horse have reached a plateau in your training, could it be possible that your lack of development is what’s holding everyone back?

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

    More, More, More… To Help You :)

  • 3 Things You Must Work on to Become a Better Rider

    3 Things You Must Work on to Become a Better Rider

    [fusebox_track_player url=”https://op3.dev/e/traffic.libsyn.com/secure/dailystridespodcast/1185_Borrowing_Confidence_and_Developing_Mentally_as_a_Rider.mp3″ title=”3 Things You Must Work on to Become a Better Rider” social_linkedin=”true” social_pinterest=”true” social_email=”true” ]

    You know that feeling when you try something new and you get it right. Maybe your trainer or instructor is with you. Or maybe you just prepared. But, for whatever reason, you got it right. You feel like a better rider. Good feeling, hey?  Until the next time you try… Maybe on your own. A couple of days later. Aaaannnnndddd nothing!

    Whatever it was that allowed you to create the perfect circumstances before is now missing and you’re back to square one. And a thirsty square one, because now you have tasted the potential of this new thing!

    Leveling up in riding is a tough one for many riders. And I believe it is because they don’t take the 3 factors necessary to be upgraded into their approach. Emotional, mental, and physical.

    Conversations of a Better Rider…

    I think as riders, we often underestimate the conversations going on in our heads. We don’t take into account the ongoing chatter that our mind creates when we do ‘the thing’. Which can have a serious impact on what is happening in the saddle.

    You can upgrade the skills. Even upgrade the knowledge of what to do with these skills. But if you don’t upgrade what you think about it; nothing will change

    It is a harsh fact and one that holds so many riders back. However, mindset is just one element that can hold you back from becoming a better rider… And, as I said, if all 3 are not being developed together, it creates a ceiling for you and your riding.

    1 . Emotional

    I believe that confidence can be borrowed. This sounds a little strange, however, we see it all the time with schoolmasters (whether the schoolmaster is horse or rider). The more experienced team member can ‘loan’ their confidence in the greener team member’s abilities.

    I can bet that you have experienced having a trainer or instructor in the arena with you and feeling like you’ll ‘give it a go’ purely based on them telling you that you can do it…!

    This is borrowing confidence. This is you not feeling so hot regarding being able to do something, and yet doing it anyway because the other person, whom you trust, makes you feel like you can.  The key with ‘borrowing confidence’ is to find someone that you trust implicitly. “If they think you can do it, they’re probably right” sort of a person!

    Once you have done something a few times, this will allow you to build your own confidence in your own abilities. This is developing emotionally as a rider.

    2 . Mental

    Knowing what to do… It seems pretty obvious that this is important if you want to improve. However, this also needs to be revisited over and over again. New ways of doing things. Learning new things. Upgrading your knowledge. There are three key parts to this.

    1. What do I want to do? 2. Why am I doing this? 3. How do I effectively communicate this to my horse in a way that he will understand?

    If you want to ride the half-halt because your horse is becoming a little unbalanced around corners, it is important to remember the above. It’s not enough to merely know that the half-halt can benefit this. You must also know how to effectively tell your horse that you want him to half halt.

    Your job is not to do the thing. Your job is to ask your horse to do the thing. Then get out of your horse’s way while he is busy doing the thing!

    And as you develop as a rider you will learn more things. You will discover new ways to do things and different methods. And, you will begin to become better at figuring out what to do when for the best result. This is developing mentally as a rider.

    3 . Physical

    Doing the thing… So many riders ‘think’ they are doing the thing – but the reality is so far removed from the picture in the rider’s head! I see this a lot with different aids. The outside leg is a good example of this. So many riders ‘think’ that their outside leg is doing something. However, a quick look at a photo or video will show that it is, in reality, nowhere near that place at all!

    As you learn more and grow confident in your abilities, your body will be asked to ‘do’ more.

    A lack of suppleness or fitness will hold you back from actually putting what you know and what you want to do into practice. This can be frustrating for many riders. However, it is also one of the easiest to begin remedying.

    Spend more time in the saddle. Sit on an exercise ball during the day. Work out. Start a yoga practice. Stretch before you ride. Choose some ‘cross training’ activities and schedule them into your weekly.  Knowing what to do is not enough. You must also be able to effectively use and control your body to make that happen.

    And as your skills grow and you develop as a rider, you will have to also develop your body physically to ‘do the things’ you want it to do.

    A Checklist for Developing your Riding

    So, the next time you find yourself in an arena, struggling to do the thing that you thought you could do, run through this quick checklist…

        • How am I thinking about this?
        • Have I upgraded my beliefs regarding my skills and abilities as a rider so that I can do this?
        • Do I know what I want to do?
        • Why am I doing it – is this the right thing to do?
        • What is the most effective way to communicate this to my horse?
        • Am I physically capable of doing this?
        • Is my body doing what I think it is doing?

    Look for where you need to do a little more work and then focus on upgrading that one area. Then circle back and try again.

    This is an ongoing process to become a better rider. This is ‘the work’. And by taking the time to ensure you are developing in all 3 areas, you will soon begin to see the progress you want in your riding.

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

    Similar Topics & Resources

     

  • How Are You Showing Up for Your Horse?

    How Are You Showing Up for Your Horse?

    How Are You Showing Up for Your Horse?

    What this episode is all about & how it can help you:-

    • To understand where the conversation begins
    • How you can influence each ride before you get into the saddle
    • Start thinking about creating different rhythms for different routines
    • Begin ‘checking yourself at the gate’!

    [smart_track_player url=”https://op3.dev/e/traffic.libsyn.com/dailystridespodcast/1074-How-Are-You-Showing-Up-for-Your-Horse.mp3″ title=”How Are You Showing Up for Your Horse?” social_linkedin=”true” social_pinterest=”true” social_email=”true” tweet_text=”Horse riding begins long before you get into the saddle. How are you showing up for each ride? Daily Strides Podcast episode” hashtag=”equestrian” twitter_username=”strides_success” ]

    Have you also noticed how, with people we are familiar with, we don’t always show up as the best version of ourselves?  I find that this happens a lot in relationships between riders and their horses as well…  And it can have such an impact on the overall ride.

    In this episode of the Daily Strides Podcast I want to remind you of how it is your responsibility as a rider to try to show up as the best version of yourself in the saddle.  As I write this, we are in the final weeks of the year and so many riders are making plans for the new year ahead.  This will definitely be a filter to put all those plans through. 

    However, I hope that regardless of when you are reading this, you take action on some of the things which will help you show up as the best version of yourself for both your horse and you.

    Realising Where the Conversation Really Begins

    So many riders think of the conversation beginning when their bum touches down in the saddle.  However, I want to try and get you thinking about how the conversation actually begins long before this happens.

    I believe the conversation between you and your horse begins when you are both aware of each others presence.  Showing up begins at that point.  The point of awareness. 

    Your Horse Should Not Be Your Personal ‘Pick Me Up’

    A habit that many riders find themselves slipping into is using their horse as a ‘pick me up’.  They are showing up, but rather than showing up as a team leader, they are showing up in order to make themselves feel better.

    Sure, your horse has the ability to improve your mood and make the world seem a better place.  However, that is a big expectation and responsibility.  It will also become a burden over time. 

    Think of how your day-to-day relationships work.  There is a give and take.  An ebb and flow.  It is important to understand that your relationship with your horse might be similar to this.

    Don’t take advantage of your horses inability to verbally express how they feel by continuously showing up in ‘bad form’.  Show up as the sort of person you would be if you were greeting someone you respect and love.

    Positively Influencing the Ride Before Getting into the Saddle

    Being aware and conscious of how you are showing up will help you to start the conversation off on the right footing.  We hear a lot about rhythm and its importance in riding.  It is one of the most foundational pieces when training horses and riders.

    You have the ability to help ‘set’ the rhythm for each ride when you are aware of how you are showing up for your horse before each ride.

    Different Rhythms for Different Routines

    Setting the rhythm is a little like setting the tone of the conversation.  It is going to be relaxing or is there more energy needed?  Are you going to approach each action with a sense of upbeat energy, or are you going to carefully cultivate a feeling of peace and safety?

    Both situations are needed on a regular basis, so learning to check yourself before showing up will help you overall in your riding. 

    Setting an intention for each interaction and, therefore, rhythm for the overall conversation will help you to focus both on the ground and in the saddle.

    Showing Up Regardless of the Situation

    Practice trying out different routines and ways of doing things and see what suits your horse and yourself best.  Different situations will call for different tones.  Learning what works where will come in useful both at home and if you are travelling.

    A familiar rhythm and routine will often help calm nerves, for both your horse and yourself, at a new or unfamiliar place.  

    It will also help to focus you both as you know what is coming and therefore feel more confident about it.  This is showing up as a team leader.

    Showing Up for Yourself As Well

    As riders, we want to transition into the role of becoming the team leader for both ourselves and our horse.  When you are showing up as the best version of yourself in a given situation, you are doing so for all involved; you and your horse.

    Constantly arriving at the yard feeling tired, moaning or without any real consistency in what you are doing will soon negatively impact your relationship with your horse.

    This will also, overtime, wear down your confidence in your own abilities. 

    Showing up feeling negative will not inspire either yourself or your horse.  However, no one will show up feeling great all the time.  We have emotions and are ‘lucky’ enough to experience a whole range of them on a daily basis!

    Different Expectations for Different Situations

    On those days where you are feeling less than inspired, try to turn the situation around.  What could you do, in the present situation or ‘mood’ that would be closer to how you would ideally like to show up?

    A little change to how we are thinking about something is often the catalyst needed to ‘self coach’ ourselves back into better form. 

    Begin Checking Yourself at the Gate

    It is so important to understand, realise and recognise that you have so much sway over how the conversation with your horse will go each interaction.  It just comes down to becoming intentional about how you are showing up.

    You can always ask yourself ‘what can I do right now to positively improve this situation’.  Keep in mind that answer is often a mental one.  Remember that horses align with their riders. 

    Becoming aware of how you are showing up and the influence this is having on your overall relationship with your horse has the potential to make all the difference in your relationship.

    Happy Riding

    Lorna

    I am hosting a free live online training on “The 6 Basics to Focus On in Your Riding” and I would love for you to join me there…  If you’re interested, you can register for your seat by CLICKING HERE

    CLICK HERE to save your seat in the free live online training

    Other Posts and Episodes that Relate to This Topic:-