Strides for Success

Tag: regular riding

  • Why You’re Still Not Riding Like You Want To (And What to Do About It This Week)

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    There’s a moment I see over and over again with riders. And if I’m being honest, I’ve been there myself more times than I would like to admit! Maybe you can relate… It goes a little like this: you’ve got a horse and you’ve got the tack. You’re even lucky enough to have access to a place to ride… And yet, you’re not actually riding the way you want! Or even, not riding at all!

    Every week that goes by, you find yourself muttering the same old question on repeat in your head, “I know what needs to be done. So why am I not doing it?!”

    If that sounds even a little bit familiar, take a deep breath, because this post is for you.  Let’s dive into what’s really going on… And how to break that cycle this week and get you on the road to regular riding the way you want it to be!

    Motivation or Clarity

    After years of chatting with riders who are feeling stuck, I can tell you that less to do with being lazy, undisciplined, or uncommitted… Nope! So often, riders are not riding how they want because they don’t actually know what to do next! They have been stuck in the same way of doing things (riding or not riding) for so long that there appears to be no clear way out!

    Not riding the way you want is less to do with ‘getting motivated’, and far more about becoming crystal clear on what you’re working towards with your horse, what’s getting in your way, or where to begin.

    Instead of taking the time to honestly assess these things so that you can make a clear decision, you’re doing the opposite. Spinning your wheels with hours of aimless time in the saddle… Or, worse, you avoid riding altogether!

    Here’s a simple process to break out of the fog and start creating real momentum again, one tiny step at a time.

    What Do You Actually Want to Be Able to Do?

    Let’s fast forward to 6 months from now. It’s the end of the year (or whenever it is 6 months from when you’re reading this post). What do you want to be able to say you and your horse did?  And I’m not talking wishy washy things… So no ‘ride better’ or ‘feel more confident’ type answers!

    I want you to come up with something tangible, specific, and visual. Something that anyone would be able to see you do if they were watching. Something that can’t be disputed over whether it happened or not!

    Here are a few examples to get you thinking about what might be possible for you and your horse, depending on where you are in your journey together:-

          • Ride a full trail loop at your local nature reserve or along your local bridle path without issues
          • Compete in a walk/trot class at a small local schooling or practice show
          • Canter in a balanced 20m circle on both reins (with correct lead) without breaking
          • Ride a simple gymnastic grid with confidence
          • Compete in an in-hand showing class at a local show
          • Work through all three gaits with rhythm and softness

    It can be big or small, mounted or in-hand. The details will depend on your unique situation.  However, it does have to be crystal clear! And once you have identified ‘your one thing’, write it down! Seriously. Pen and paper! I personally love going to a local hardware store, getting some of the paint sample colour cards in colours I love, and writing on them. Then I pin them in places where they will be seen daily… Sounds odd – but, for me, this works!

    The Gap Between “There” & “Here”

    Once you know where you’re going, the next step is to look at where you are now and spot the differences! What’s missing?  Or what’s changed? It is so important to get as detailed as you can here. Yes, start with the big picture. But then hone in and really look for the little things that, right now, are not aligned.

    How are the ‘there’ situation and circumstances different from where you are right ‘here’ and right now?

    There are so many different ‘differences’ you might identify. Most of these will depend on, again, your unique situation. Start big. Look for the obvious differences, and then chunk it down. The smaller the ‘chunks’ or steps, the more ‘doable’ it will become for you to move from ‘here’ to ‘there’.
    Here are a few examples of what you might notice as being ‘different’:-

          • Your horse’s fitness (can’t hold a canter or gets tired fast)
          • Your consistency (you ride once a week, if that)
          • Your confidence (you feel anxious mounting up)
          • Your horse’s training (rushing, ignoring your aids, lacking rhythm)
          • Your riding skills (you can’t yet ride sitting trot or tell your diagonals)

    The key here isn’t to get overwhelmed by the list. It’s to get honest.  If you’re still struggling, imagine putting a video of you riding now or of your current situation side by side with the video of what you want. If you’re struggling to see yourself in the ‘there’ video, put current you side by side with a video of someone who’s already doing the thing you want… And remember, the key is to ‘spot the difference’; not berate, shame, or guilt yourself!

    When you can clearly identify the gaps between where you are and where you want to be, you can finally stop guessing what to do, and start actually doing something :)

    One Action in the Next 3 Days

    Okay, so now you’ve got a specific goal. And you have a list of the current gaps that need to be filled in order for you to make that goal a reality in your riding. The next step is to choose one tiny action that begins to close one of those gaps.  Tiny is the key word in that sentence! In fact, the smaller the action (remember, chunk it down), the greater the chance of you actually getting this done.

    This is where many riders fall into the trap of thinking that creating a plan is the action. Nope, it is not! Neither is making a decision. I want you to physically DO something. Take action. And, you’re going to do this within the coming 3 days. Here are a few real-world examples:

    For the Horse:

          • Fitness gap? 10 minutes working on halt-walk-trot transitions in the arena
          • No rhythm in trot? Similar; work on transitions between walk–halt–walk with focus
          • Spooks on trails? Lead your horse past 1 “scary” object this week
          • Breaks in canter? Practice trot-canter-trot transitions on the lunge.
          • Won’t move off the leg? Do 10 mins of in-hand responsiveness exercises.

    For the Rider:

          • Don’t know diagonals? Sync your ‘up’ ‘down’ with the forward and back of your horses outside shoulder in the walk. Do this until you can literally glance and know if you’re correct. Then try in trot
          • Too unfit? Commit to a 15-minute walk on foot each day this week
          • Feel anxious? Mount up. Sit or walk for 30 seconds. Then dismount. Done
          • No plan? Write down 1 intention and one exercise for your next ride, just one!
          • Not riding enough? Groom your horse 3 days this week, even for 10 minutes. Work on creating the rhythm first

    This doesn’t need to be dramatic. It just needs to be done. And done inside of 3 days from reading this blog post or listening to this episode! You’ve 72 hours to make it happen. And if you’re thinking that there’s no way you will get this done in 3 days, go smaller. Chunk it down some more so that the resistance between here and there (there in this case being the other side of your action) is minimal. Tiny. A step!

    Get Moving So You Can Get Clear.

    I see riders kid themselves over and over by believing this sneaky thought. The “I just need to get a little more confident/motivated/organized… And then I’ll get going.”. If you tell yourself that – stop! This thought is what’s holding you back. It’s the handbrake that’s keeping you stuck in the cycle of not riding how you want.

    You have to begin taking action when you don’t feel ‘ready’.  That’s what will build your confidence and clarity. Doing one small thing will move you out of indecision and start building your positive momentum.

    This can be as small as a 5-minute groundwork session. Or finally pulling out your planner and scheduling two rides this week.  It can be marking out 2 different school movements to ride tomorrow in the arena. Or it can be mounting up and walking to the gate and back.

    You have already identified what you can do. That smallest of small action steps. Now it’s your responsibility to get it done. Within the next 3 days. 72 hours. No excuses ;) 

    Review & Planning Call

    So if you’re reading this and thinking,“Okay, Lorna, I hear you… But I still don’t know what my action should be…”Then I want to personally invite you to join me this Friday inside the Daily Strides Podcast Online Community on Facebook for a free live call.

    I’m going to walk you through:

          • Clarifying your 6-month goal
          • Identifying the real gaps in your horse’s training
          • Choosing one action to take in the coming 72 hours or 3 days

    It’ll be fun, low-pressure, and practical, and it might just be the spark that sets your next 6 months on fire! So make sure you join me there (or get the recording if the call has already happened).

    Personal Coaching to Get You Riding

    And if you feel that you want a more personalised approach, my private coaching program Restart & Reschool will give you just that. Every quarter, I work privately with a small group of select riders. If you would like to find out more, you can fill out an application HERE. There’s no obligation or pressure. Just clarity on whether this is a good fit for you right now in your riding.

    If you’ve been telling yourself for months now ‘I just need a plan. I just need someone to help me make it happen’, this is the help.  This is the plan, and it’s your next step.

    Make It Happen for You

    Okay, if you have been feeling down about not riding the way you want or as much as you want, you now have a plan to change that. You don’t need more time.  And, if you’re honest with yourself, you probably don’t need the new equipment or whatever it is you’ve told yourself you can’t possibly do without. If you do, your ‘next step’ is too big! Make it smaller!

    You just need to take one action that moves you toward the rider you want to be.  And then the commitment to yourself and your horse that you will go take it.

    I am so excited to hear what you do with this. You’re always welcome to email me lorna @ stridesforsuccess . com. Or, come join me inside the Daily Strides Podcast for Equestrians Online Community. I’ll see you inside the group on Friday, and maybe even inside Restart & Reschool.

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

    More on This Topic:-

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  • How to Make Horse Riding a Priority Again in Your Life

    How to Make Horse Riding a Priority Again in Your Life

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    If horse riding has fallen down the priorities ladder in your life, you may – like many riders – want to push it back up the list.  You know, get it back up somewhere near the top so that you can really feel like it is truly something that defines ‘you’ again…

    Unfortunately, making horse riding a priority again can be one of those ‘easier said than done’ things for many lapsed riders. Especially when you consider what your ‘mind’ is telling you! 

    And, let’s face it, if it is not a real priority, it won’t last.  Sure, you might have enough willpower to push through for a week or two, maybe even a month or two.  But when the rubber hits the road and resistance begins to show up, you will continue to uphold the true priorities in your life.  And everything else will, eventually, fall by the wayside. Which is why it’s important to take the time and do this right.

    Do Affirmations Work?

    I’m going to be very honest with you and tell you that, in my experience, not very often.  And I think the reason for this is because the sentence that is being affirmed is just too big a jump from where that rider is right now in their unique set of circumstances.

    For example, if you keep telling yourself “I am a confident equestrian who rides 4 days a week” when, in reality, it’s been 3 years since you’ve sat in a saddle; your mind is NOT going to believe that – no matter how many times you say it! 

    I think the key when choosing to tell ourselves something different is to first of all notice how it physically feels in our bodies when we say the thing.  If your mind thinks that statement is a great big ‘porkie’, your body won’t feel good when you say it. Notice and pay attention to what your body is telling you.

    Choosing New Statements That Feel Good

    However, if you were to rather say something along the lines of “In the past, horse riding was a very important part of my life, and I am actively working each day to make that a reality again”… That will have a different feeling because it’s not an outright ‘lie’.  It is a statement that your mind can get behind. And this is important.

    I think that well-structured affirmations are a good way to begin building trust with yourself. Especially when you then follow through and take action on what you are telling yourself! 

    And this trust is important because if you want to make horse riding a priority again, it is this ‘trust’ that will help you begin to develop other things. Like resistance and perseverance.  Because, let’s be completely honest here, it won’t be sunshine and roses every day just because you chose to begin riding again.  Life will happen!

    Sharing the Journey

    From here, I am going to suggest finding another equestrian to share this journey with.  Whether or not you already know this person does not matter.  What matters is that you both commit to each other to ‘pick up the slack’ when ‘those days’ roll around.  You know the ones where the baby didn’t sleep for 3 nights in a row.  Or you were given extra responsibilities and a short deadline at work.  Maybe even the days when the weather has you seriously reconsidering your whole commitment to regular riding again!

    Until you have developed a lot of trust in yourself, you can use the support of someone else to help get you over the days when things are less than ideal. 

    And this person can help in a lot of ways.  It could just be a voice note check-in to say, “yes, I rode today”.  Maybe it’s some ‘cheerleader style’ revving you up to do the work.  Or a little tough love!  This person is also someone who you can share the ups and downs with.  Celebrate the good.  And review, laugh, or cry about the not so great!

    Making Horse Riding A Priority

    Remember, your goal here initially is that it is A priority.  Not necessarily YOUR priority initially.  It is only by building that trust with yourself, feeling and celebrating the good times, becoming excited about what’s to come, and getting out there and actually doing it that horse riding will become a priority for you again.

    If you would like some support, accountability, training, guidance, and a roadmap for your back to regular riding journey, make sure that you check out Returning to Riding. 

    In there, I will become ‘that person’ for you as you begin down the path of regular riding for you and your horse.

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

    Returning to Riding

    9 weeks to get your basics onto autopilot so that you can make the transition from passenger to ‘rider’ for you and your horse. We will work together, using easy-to-follow audio horse riding lessons and weekly video reviews to help you transform your riding.

    Experience how you will go from feeling ‘floppy’, unbalanced, and lacking confidence in your abilities when in the saddle, to gaining control of your body and aids, practicing clear communication, and actually improving how your horse goes while being ridden. 

    With 9 weeks of private, 1 to 1 coaching with me over a secure video, voice, and text app, you will have all the support you need – and a proven program you can re-do with your horse time and again to polish both of your skills.

    Make sure you check out Returning to Riding today for all of the information.

    Get Going Again in Your Riding:-

    Daily Strides Premium is back! The first and original audio horse riding lessons you can use to improve your riding, train your horse, keep things interesting, have fun… Even if you don’t have a trainer or coach

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  • What is Stopping You From Riding More? Part 1

    What is Stopping You From Riding More? Part 1

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    Now, if you answer this with ‘because we’re up to our eyeballs in snow’… Okay, fair enough! However, if you answer this with ‘I don’t know’ or an answer that you, yourself, can quickly tear apart…  This is for you!
    So many riders ‘say’ that they want to ride more.  But the difference between the saying and the doing can be a big one.  Which, when you think about how much enjoyment and connection we get from being with our horses, is a terrible pity.
    In this episode of the Daily Strides Podcast, we’ll delve into five of the more common obstacles that can prevent more time in the saddle, and chat about how you can overcome them.  Whether it’s time management, inadequate facilities, or the pressure to please others, identifying the specific challenge you are facing is the first step toward a schedule that includes more riding time.

     1. Time Habits

    Notice that I did not say ‘a lack of time’. This was intentional.  You see, I think that most riders actually do have the time, but it’s how they are spending their time that causes there to be ‘lack’ when it comes to the ‘time for riding kitty’.  For me, I often find myself doing things that I actually no longer need to or want to spend time doing.  I do them out of habit.  And while, at some point, they definitely were necessary or needed to be done; now… Nope!
    Have an honest look at your time habits (I have a free workbook  HEREthat you can download to help you) and see where you can potentially reallocate more time to riding. 
    I also think that becoming really clear on your priorities will also help here. Are you devoting time to the things you say are your priorities? A quick review of the past week in your life, and your list of top priorities should clear this up for you and your horse.

     2. Lack of Facilities

    Not having the facilities to ride can also be caused by our habits.  Now, I realize that this might sound a little odd initially, but bear with me.  Just like our time, we can fall into these habits around specific areas and places. Maybe it’s a certain barn or stables.  Or a group of riders. Whatever the attraction initially was, the truth is that we become ‘comfortable’ there.  EVEN when that place, group, or facility is no longer serving us!

    In fact, just the thought of moving or going somewhere different can fee REALLY uncomfortable, and so we tend to ‘settle’. This is true when it comes to both riding facilites, but can also apply to resources.

    So, for example, if lack of time is really an issue, maybe you need to consider moving to a facility where your horse can be closer to the barn or stables. Or where there is someone there to actually bring your horse in and tack him up for you… And I get it that, as riders, we want to do it all ourselves.  But if this is stopping you from riding, it makes sense to begin exploring becoming a little uncomfortable, and making a change to support you now.

     3. Facilities that Don’t Support You

    You will outgrow things.  It is inevitable.  The trouble comes if you, intentionally or not, remain tied to a barn, yard, or farm that no longer supports you and your horse in your journey together. Usually, this is where the yard was great initially. It had the right-sized arenas, or suitable trails to help you and your horse on the specific part of the journey…  But now, you have both changed.  Maybe you need a bigger ring or arena.  More jumps or poles.  An actual stable.
    There are so many things that change over the course of time with your riding and your training; it makes sense that the facilities you need will also have to change and evolve to continue to support you both going forward.
    And this can also work the opposite way.  Having access to only huge open riding areas if you are feeling less than confident can also put a pause on your riding.  Make sure that the facilities you do have access to are truly supporting you and your horse where you are right now in your riding journey.

     4. Not Enough Prep Being Done

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; to make consistent progress in your riding, you MUST have a strategic plan that you are taking consistent action on in your riding and training.  Riding for the sake of riding just will not work in the long run.
    Yes, you may have clocked 4 rides this week, each 35 minutes long.  But what did you actually do to move your partnership, or your training forward?  If the answer is ‘I don’t know’, or ‘nothing’, then this is where you need to begin developing your skills as a trainer for your horse!
    Planning out your rides will require you to have something to actually work towards (more on that in the next episode, Why Aren’t You Riding More Part 2). And then being able to work backward, ride by ride, to fill in the missing gaps between there and here. If you are feeling a little overwhelmed by this, start with just having a basic intention…
    Remind yourself of that intention throughout your ride and bring your focus back when you notice that it has wandered. This is one of the most simple ways to begin measuring the quality of each ride, versus the quantity.

     5. People Pleasing

    This one might seem a little odd initially, however, it is a very real block for many riders. I hear from so many riders about the challenge of avoiding the ‘Chatty Cathys’ at the barn or the yard!  You know the person (or people) who seem to always corner you into a fairly mundane chat – and 30 minutes later you’re still stuck there!
    If you only have a set amount of time to do all of the things that you want to do with your horse, this is something you will have to become a little more strict on!
    My advice is to greet and be lovely to the people. Then simply say something along the lines of ‘I’m going to have to keep moving if I’m to get through everything I have planned for today. You’re more than welcome to walk and talk with me’… Most people won’t!  They will go find someone else to chat to.  But this way, you have given them the option, and you will also get your tasks for the day done as well.
    Another way people pleasing can become a block when it comes to riding is to do with the V.I.P.s in your life.  Especially if horses and ridign is not a huge priority for them! And balancing this can be tricky. 
    In my experience, the best way to navigate this is to have an open, honest, and friendly conversation.  Explain that, ideally, you would like to spend X amount of the days or hours at the stables each week.  Then also create days and hours during the week that you are committed to them.  The key word there is ‘committed’.  I
    If you show up and be present with them when you say you will, it usually results in them becoming more supportive of you and your riding.
    If you need help making riding a reoccurring activity in your life again, make sure you check out Returning to Riding; a way that we can work together to get you back in the saddle and back on track to enjoy horse riding again.
    Happy Riding
    Lorna

    Get Going in Your Riding:-

    Daily Strides Premium is back! The first and original audio horse riding lessons you can use to improve your riding, train your horse, keep things interesting, have fun… Even if you don’t have a trainer or coach

    Connect with Lorna online:-