Strides for Success

Tag: Returning to Riding

  • Finding the 1 Domino in Your Riding that Changes Everything

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    There’s a moment in every rider’s journey, whether you’ve just started learning to ride, or you’re returning after a break, when you suddenly become very aware of everything that’s not quite right…  Maybe your leg moves too much.  Or you bounce in the saddle.  Perhaps you struggle with consistency with your reins – they’re either too long or too tight. Maybe your transitions feel unpredictable at best!

    It’s like your brain has opened a spreadsheet of faults and hit “highlight all.”  And while it’s good to know what needs work, unfortunately, that’s often when the overwhelm sets in!

    Whether you’re a fairly newish rider or a novice coming back to it after a break, trying to fix everything at once doesn’t lead to progress. It leads to frustration.  The key is to figure out what needs work first. What is the ‘domino’ you need to knock to create that positive ripple effect on everything else… And because what you focus on grows, this becomes your starting point.

    You don’t need to fix everything. You just need to find the domino. The one piece that, when it shifts, starts to positively shift everything else, too

    The Problem with “Everything”

    When you’re learning something new or re-learning something old, it’s natural to feel like you need to improve all of it. Every aid, transition, the whole thing. And so often, our natural enthusiasm to improve can trick us into thinking that this is possible. It is  – but not by tackling everything at once!

    Yes, eventually, you will work on each of the pieces and improve them. But often these skills won’t develop simultaneously. They stack and layer over time. Strengthening each other as you grow… 

    And so often, they all tie back to one foundational weakness that’s quietly knocking everything else off balance.  Just like a single domino at the start of a row, identifying that one point can bring ease, flow, and stability to everything else.

    Your Job? Find That Domino

    If you’ve been feeling a little frustrated that things are not happening fast enough for you in the saddle, this is probably what’s happening. You’re trying to do too much! Maybe you’re working on your posture, your position, your hands, your leg, your transitions, your turns… and the list keeps growing.

    Instead of piling more on and ‘trying harder’, what if you worked on finding that ‘first domino’?

    Often, that first domino is something simple, but powerful:

          • Your posture or position
          • Your breath and tension
          • The timing of your aids
          • The consistency of your seat
          • Whether you’re even mentally present for the ride

    ‘Fixing’, changing or improving any one of those things can cause a chain reaction that improves everything else.

    Riding with Intention, Not Overwhelm

    Imagine mounting up and having one clear focus. Maybe it’s “Today I am going to work on maintaining my position and posture in halt, walk, and trot”. That’s it. Forget about all of the other things. Your goal is to maintain, as best you can, your ‘lines’ when working with your horse.

    As you ride, you start to notice that your seat naturally begins to follow the horse more smoothly. Your hands soften without you trying. Your transitions feel more prepared, and your horse responds better.

    That’s the domino effect. You didn’t “try harder.”  Instead, you maintained your focus on something worth your time, attention, and energy. You were more strategic with your time in the saddle.

    The Basics Are Not Just for Beginners

    I know I say this a lot, but it’s always worth repeating. I see so many novice riders fall into the trap of thinking that they are somehow ‘less than’ because they are working on ‘basic stuff’.   “I should be past this already.” or “I learned this years ago.”. I even hear the odd “This is beginner stuff.”

    But here’s the thing…  The basics are never behind you.  They are beneath everything you’re doing. They are the foundation of everything else in your riding – so it stands to reason that they are worth the investment of your time and energy

    Posture, balance, timing, effective aids, and all of the other basics are not just box-ticking skills from a checklist. They’re the structure that allows you to build progress ride after ride.  It’s when they are weak, shaky, or even missing that problems tend to crop up.

    Riding with Focus Is Riding with Power

    When you ride intentionally, with curiosity and focus, you begin to shift the entire tone of your riding journey. You stop feeling ‘behind’. You become curious about why things are the way that they are, and what you can do to change them.

    And, maybe most importantly of all, you stop chasing that elusive ‘perfect ride’.  Instead, you give yourself the opportunity to become grounded. Aware. Calmly effective.

    Both you and your horse will feel it. And that is the domino effect at work for you in your riding.  Keep It Simple. To help you get started, here’s your invitation:

          1. Before your next ride, choose your focus domino.
          2. Ride with that one intention in mind.
          3. Reflect afterward—what shifted because of that focus?

    One Focused Ride Can Change Everything

    If there’s one thing to take away from all of this, let it be this:  Real progress in your riding doesn’t come from trying to do more, or fixing everything at once.  It comes from learning how to see what actually matters — and then focusing on that, with calm intention.

    It’s in those quiet, focused moments — when you notice your breath matching your horse’s rhythm… or your seat starting to follow more fluidly… or your aids landing with clarity — that the real transformation happens. Because that’s when you stop being a passenger. And you start truly riding.

    Want Help Finding Your Riding Domino?

    If you’re ready to get unstuck and finally start seeing real, consistent progress in the saddle, I’d love to invite you to join me for a free live webinar next week: From Passenger to Rider: 3 Shifts to Fix Your Position, Your Aids & Your Confidence (Without Riding More, Starting Over, or Turning Your Rides Into Boring Drills)

    Whether you’re new to riding or finding your feet again after time away, this class will give you the exact framework to identify what really needs your focus right now — and how to build on it without overwhelm. And there’s a special bonus for those who join me live — and I promise, it’s worth it.

    Save your spot here: https://returningtoriding.com

    Let this be the ride where it all starts to come together. You don’t need to do more. You just need to do the right thing,  at the right time, in the right way.

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

    More on this Topic

    Online Training to Help Your Riding

    Connect with Lorna online:-

  • Are You ‘Sitting There’? How To Know if You’re Stuck in Passenger Mode!

    You hop into the saddle, ready for a great ride. But before you know it, you’ve spent most of the session adjusting your hands, correcting your position, and just ‘fixing’ yourself. All while your horse just plods along! Sound familiar? Don’t worry, you’re not alone…

    Ask yourself this: Where is the majority of your attention or focus when you ride? Think back to the very last schooling session with your horse with you in the saddle. Maybe you had a lesson, or perhaps it was just you and your horse working together alone. Who did you focus more on: you and your position, aids, tension, etc., or your horse and how well he was working?

    There comes a point for most riders when they realize that they spend more time focusing on themselves in each training session. Fixing, correcting, reminding themselves to do or be a certain way…

    This is the ‘passenger’ phase of your horse-riding journey. And while all riders must initially go through it, the challenge comes when they unknowingly get stuck there! It’s when you’re focusing so much of your energy in ‘fixing’ yourself that you’re not actually riding the horse! You’re simply ‘sitting there’.

    So, if you’ve been feeling like 80% of your time in the saddle is spent ‘fixing’ and correcting yourself – this article and episode will help you to begin making the shift from passenger to rider.

    Signs You’re Stuck in Passenger Mode

    So there are a few ways you can begin to identify this in your riding. The first and most obvious one is becoming aware of how you spend your time when you’re riding…

      • You spend most of your time in the saddle ‘fixing’ or adjusting your hands, seat, or legs – instead of focusing on your horse’s way of going
      • You actually feel like a passenger the majority of the time in the saddle – your horse is leading you, rather than the other way around, or working together as a team
      • Corners, bends, circles, or transitions seem to happen TO you – rather than because of how you set things up and asked for them!
      • You spend a lot of time trying to find your balance – instead of using your weight aids to positively influence your horse’s way of going

    The ‘Stuck in Passenger Mode’ Test

    Think back over the past 5 rides you’ve had where you wanted to work on something and achieve something with your horse. Where did your focus go for the majority of those rides? If you worked with an instructor or a trainer, what did they spend most of the time working on? You or your horse? And if they had to keep ‘fixing’ or correcting you to work on your horse – the answer is ‘you :)

    Another way to think about this is by assessing your basics in the saddle. If the majority of your time is spent correcting, fixing, stabilizing, or any of the other ‘ings’ your basics, then you are in passenger mode.

    And keep in mind that is not a ‘bad’ thing. Once you realize that this is a very real part of the journey of becoming a more skilled rider, you can start to actively work on transitioning out of it!

    The basics that you will find yourself focusing on are:-

        • Your Position
        • Your Posture
        • Your Aids
        • Bending (and creating a channel with your aids)

    Passenger Versus Rider

    Of course, when you’re stuck in passenger mode, you might wonder, ‘What else is there to actually focus on?’  And the answer is, ‘Oh, lots!’. ‘Riders’ are not spending their time worrying about and ‘fixing’ their position. Or their aids, or posture, etc. They are not obsessing over carrying their hands or keeping their heels down.

    The difference between passengers and riders is that riders are thinking about the best way to communicate and support their horses to get the desired outcome. 

    If they don’t spend the majority of their ride or training session worrying about their position. They are wondering if the horse understands what they are trying to explain. And if they think that maybe there’s a little confusion going on, they are thinking about how to clarify that. How to USE their position or aids to get the most out of their work with their horse. Not just keeping the horse between themselves and the ground!

    Passengers focus most of their energy on fixing their position or aids. Riders don’t have to think about their position; they focus on understanding how the horse is interpreting what they are trying to say…

    Transitioning from Passenger to Rider

    So the first part of creating this transition for yourself is to actually become aware that something has to change! And, hopefully, after reading this post or listening to this episode, you’re already there! The next part will be a little more time-consuming. This is because working through this transition in your riding skills requires putting your basics onto autopilot…

    ‘Riders’ don’t have to worry about their position or aids because they have already invested the time in putting the right basics onto autopilot – they just happen by themselves now and no longer need constant management

    That is a key part of the process to move away from being stuck in passenger mode and move into ‘rider’ mode. Putting the ‘right’ things onto autopilot. This is why riding instructors the world over go on and on about a good position. About good posture and self-carriage. Or can be heard shouting ‘heels down’ all of the time! These things matter.

    If you are in passenger mode now, you can begin carefully curating what you want to put onto autopilot so that you get the best possible results for you and your horse further down the road. 

    Flipping the 80/20 in Your Riding

    So, if right now, you are spending 80% of your time focused on ‘fixing’ or ‘correcting’ your basics (position, posture, aids, and bending), this is leaving only 20% of your time to focus on your horse. This needs to flip if you want to get unstuck and begin actually ‘training’ your horse the way you want.

    Moving away from being stuck in passenger mode requires you to become more aware of what you are doing so that the 80% of time you’re spending focused on ‘you’ now pays off in the long run.

    You want to turn each ride into the opposite of the ‘Passenger 80/20’:-

      • 20% self-awareness → A little time invested intentionally adjusting your alignment, position, aids…
      • 80% riding your horse → So that you can focus on supporting your horse to do his best work

    If 80% of your ride is spent fixing yourself, you’re not riding – you’re just sitting there, often stuck in passenger mode

    Where Should You Begin?

    This will vary for every single rider. Often, it can be worth getting an expert opinion on this initially if you’re unsure. I say this because you might begin to fixate on a specific thing, let’s say a swinging lower leg. When really that is merely a symptom of a forked seat. If you don’t have the knowledge or experience to identify a symptom and a cause, investing in a riding lesson with a knowledgeable instructor will be worth it’s weight in gold.

    Once you’ve figured out the root cause, start there. Spend 3 to 5 minutes at the beginning of every ride intentionally correcting this. Then, build checkpoints throughout your ride to check in on how you’re doing. 

    You will have to correct a lot initially. This is absolutely normal and to be expected. And this is often the work many riders are not willing to do! Again, this is also why riding instructors keep repeating the same things over and over. They are doing the ‘checking in’ for the riders!

    Only when you’ve been consistently doing the correct thing for a length of time will that then become a habit. Your body and brain will put it on ‘autopilot’. And this is what frees you up to focus on something else.

    Putting Your Basics on Autopilot

    If you want to move out of being stuck in passenger mode and begin transitioning into being a ‘rider’ for your horse, I can help. I truly believe that spending 9 to 12 weeks focusing on this is long enough to create a transformation in your riding.

    I can help you do this by putting the correct things onto autopilot in your riding, inside of the Returning to Riding Program. You can find more details over at https://returningtoriding.com

    The Returning to Riding Program is designed to move you out of the passenger seat and into confident, intentional riding. Join us and start riding with purpose!

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

    More Episodes on This Topic

    Online Training to Help Your Riding

    Connect with Lorna online:-

  • Back to Riding? Improve Your Seat, Hands & Balance on Day 1

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    So you desperately want to get back in the saddle on the regular again. And you definitely feel excited. But you’re also feeling more than a little overwhelmed! The big looming question is “What do I do on that first ride?!” Stop panicking because today, I will guide you through exactly what to do on that first ride… Step by step with your horse. Remember, whether it’s been months or years, your body and mind need time to adjust.

    For your first few rides back, I want you to focus on increasing your awareness, rather than questioning if you’re ‘doing it right. Awareness over perfection! 

    Today, as we ride together, you will make some small but mighty shifts in how you sit, move, and connect with your horse. These strategic adjustments will make all the difference in rebuilding your confidence and comfort. And they will also help to keep your mind from wandering too much!

    So, obviously, this can be listened to while you are riding. But you can also listen before you mount up and then use what you learn to make your first or next ride really count in your journey back to regular riding.

    Settling Into the Saddle: Find Your Balance

    Once you are mounted up, and before you start making changes, let’s take a moment to pause. Take a deep breath and simply notice what’s happening in your body. Can you feel an excess tension creeping into specific areas?

        • Seat & Weight Distribution – Do you feel ‘even Steven’ in the saddle, or is one side heavier?
        • Legs – Are your legs resting naturally or gripping? Let them drape softly like curtains
        • Hands & Reins – Are you holding tension in your fingers? Keep your contact elastic, imagine holding a sponge and wanting to keep some water in the sponge!
        • Breathing – Are you breathing deeply, or are you holding your breath? Talking or singing to your horse can really help here…

    “Your first ride back isn’t about fixing—it’s about noticing. So often you will bring old habits back to the saddle with you. This is the perfect opportunity to make lasting changes to those!”

    Moving With Your Horse: Feel the Rhythm

    From here, ask your horse to begin to walk forward. Use these initial first few steps to first of all congratulate yourself for mounting up! And then, begin to scan your body. Your only job right now is to become aware of how you feel. As your horse walks, tune in to their movement. Are you following the motion or blocking it? Are you syncing or sinking the whole ship?!

        • Your Seat and Lower Back – Is your seat moving freely with your horse, or are you stiff and blocking the movement? Let your horse move your hips and seat. Think of a bicycle peddling backward.
        • Upper Body & Chest– Are you collapsing through your upper body? Or are you focusing on the feeling of ‘standing’ rather than ‘sitting’ through your upper body while in the saddle?
        • Shoulders & Arms Are your shoulders creeping up towards your ears?! Are your elbows sticking out in front of you (like a sleepwalker!)?  Do you have enough (or too much) bend in your elbows?
        • Balance & Symmetry – Are you centered, or are you more to one side or the other? How does the weight feel in your stirrups? And your knees; are they symmetrical? How about your hands…?

    “Your body is constantly giving signals to your horse—make sure they’re the right ones. Too much or too little tension in your body can have a massive impact on your horses way of going”

    The goal is to move with your horse, not against him. It’s like dancing. You want your horse to ‘lead’ you at this point in your riding. Don’t shove, or resist. Just relax, find neutral, and allow your body to be led. When you do, your horse will feel more relaxed and willing. It will feel like the energy is flowing. Rather than riding with the handbrake on!

    Small Adjustments for a Big Difference

    Once you’ve become more aware of what you’re doing in the saddle, you can begin to make small adjustments to how you are riding and interacting with your horse. I am going to suggest beginning with evening out tension levels throughout your body, correcting your posture, and aligning your position to where is best for the application of your aids. When you’re in the right place, it makes ‘talking’ to your horse so much easier!

        • Head, Shoulder, Hip, Heel Line – If I could magically click my fingers causing your horse to disappear, would you land on your feet? Or would you end up on your face or your bum?! This line is IMPORTANT!
        • Elbow, Wrist, Thumb, Rein, Bit Line – Have you got a lovely straight line from your elbow to your horse’s mouth? Or do you have a V or a lightning bolt going on?! Your hand, wrist, and lower arm are extensions of the rein – no bends or angles, please!
        • Symmetry & Weight Distribution – Are you sitting on your seat bones? And are each of your seat bones an equal distance from the middle of the saddle? Adjust your seat bones so that they point directly below you (click your fingers rule), and that there is an equal amount of your body on both sides of the saddle. If you do feel off-center, try shifting your weight slightly to rebalance yourself

    “The smallest adjustments often create the biggest improvements. And by starting off with making sure the basics are right, you are creating a strong foundation to build from in future rides…”

    Awareness of Your Horse & Your Habits

    As you make these changes, check in with your horse. Is he responding differently? How about relaxation; how are the tension levels in his body? And responsiveness? When you’re in the right place, he has a much better chance of understanding what you’re trying to say.

    The more aware you become, the more effective your riding will be. And the stronger your basics are, the more quickly and effectively you can build your skills as a rider. 

    It is always worth remembering that a lot of the ‘bad habits’ we cultivate as riders are actually symptoms of something else going on. Try to focus on ‘tweaking’ the cause, rather than drive yourself mad trying to treat the symptom! It won’t go away completely until you address the cause!

    Cooling Down & Reflection

    As you finish your ride, take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself:

        • What did I notice about my position and balance?
        • Where did I feel excessive tension?
        • How well did I carry myself – especially my hands and my upper body?
        • Where did I feel the most connected to my horse through our movements together?
        • What small changes made the biggest difference?
        • Are there any habits from before that have followed me back into the saddle again?

    “Every ride is a chance to learn something new about yourself and your horse… It’s your level of self awareness that allows you to make each ride an opportunity to improve”

    And, if you’re feeling up to it, you can try all of this again, but at the trot. I’m going to suggest listening to this episode again and applying the same awareness to your rising trot. Think of the basics, position, posture, weight distribution, and your ‘lines’.

    What’s Next? Choose Your Focus…

    Okay, so the first ride is done and dusted. However, now you need to build a little momentum. Choose one of the three following suggestions to work on for your next ride so that you can keep improving and truly make the most of this opportunity to be back in the saddle again.

        1. Learn to Begin Controlling Your Seat – Neutral, Go, and Whoa are all real ways you can influence your horse using your seat. I have an episode on this topic HERE
        2. Applying the Click Your Fingers Rule – Those lines are really important for both keeping you in the saddle and also how well your horse can listen to and understand your aids. I have got an episode on this HERE
        3. Developing Your Riding Fitness – Maybe you felt that you lacked the suppleness to move with your horse… If so, I strongly suggest diving into walking and yoga-based free 21-day Equestrian Fitness Challenge HERE

    Finally, I would love to hear from you… Which one of the above exercises felt the most impactful for you in your ride today? Pop over to the Daily Strides Podcast Online Community on Facebook and let me know! I’d love to hear about your experience.

    “Progress isn’t about doing everything at once – it’s about improving one small thing at a time.”

    And if you’re looking for more ways to make the most of your time with your horse, grab my free 80+ Ideas to Do with Your Horse in 15 Minutes or Less by CLICKING HERE

    Everything is neatly divided into categories for you to choose from depending on your vision, intention, or focus for your riding.

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

    More Episodes on This Topic

    Online Training to Help Your Riding

    Connect with Lorna online:-

  • Getting Back in the Saddle; Can Things Be Even BETTER Than Before?

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    Nostalgia is a funny thing. It often causes us to look back at or reminisce about past experiences with rose-tinted glasses. And your horse riding journey is no different. Especially when you’re thinking about getting back in the saddle after a significant breakaway.

    When you remember all of the adventures you’ve already had when it comes to horses and riding, it can sometimes leave you questioning if there’s any way it could ever hope to be like that again… 

    And that doubt over how good getting back in the saddle could be is one of the big reasons riders never take the next action. They don’t go out and tack up. Or they stop exploring riding clubs, or schools that are nearby. And that is such a shame…

    While you’re paused because you’re worrying if a new riding experience could possibly measure up to ‘what was’ for you before; you’re missing out on the very real possibility that things could actually be even better. 

    Today I want to explore how this is a very real (and even more probable) out come for you if you finally take the plunge and take action on getting back in the saddle after a break.

    A Deeper Appreciation

    We’re told that ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder. I find this is almost always true when it comes to riding. However, I have also seen and personally experienced how often it’s only when we actually make the move, and take the action, that we feel this way.  It’s not until we move from thinking about getting back in the saddle to actually riding that we tend to really understand and appreciate what we were really missing all of that time.

    And when that realisation of ‘missing out’ is coupled with a more life-experienced you, this will almost always lead to a deeper appreciation for not only your horse but also for yourself as a rider.

    I’ve seen over and over how dedicated returning riders are to both their riding and the time allocated for riding. There is an increased focus, a clearer intention, and an increased curiosity about what they’re doing and how. They really see their riding time as special. They realize how privileged they are to actually get to have a conversation with and develop a partnership with a horse. It’s magic!

    A Keen Curiosity

    This brings me to the second reason your getting back into the saddle might just surpass all of your past experiences with riding; you are curious to find out more about it. So often, when we learn to ride initially, we tend to rush through the early lessons. We are so keen to do everything that we skip as fast as possible through the basics to get to the ‘exciting’ stuff. Coming back to riding often has the opposite effect on us.

    We want to know ‘why’ things work that way. Is there a different or better way to do things. What would happen if we applied our aids in a different way or situation. And just how to use the basics for better overall development…

    This curiosity is what really guides us to become more skilled in the saddle because we begin understanding ‘why’. It is really the catalyst to going from ‘medicore’ to great as a horse person. And even if our body is not what it was originally when we rode, by staying curious, we learn how to work with what we have now. And often this can develop our skills past all of our previous expectations.

    A Fresh Start

    Unfortunately, many riders leave riding initially because they just are not enjoying it or having fun. When you begin to think about getting back in the saddle, you can start rewriting your expectations and your story about being a rider. If confidence became an issue for you originally, you can come back to ‘riding’ with a strong focus on groundwork and partnership. Over time, that will lead to confident riding again – if that’s what you want.

    A fresh start also allows you to let go of old stories that held you back… Maybe about time or resources. Or even about your abilities as a rider; what you can or cannot do.

    Getting back in the saddle let’s you start a new story – one that better aligns with you as you are right now. 

    And if the ‘old you’ had certain habits that you would have been better without, the break from riding and then coming back to it is the perfect time to rid yourself of them. Your body and your mind will be much more malleable now to doing things differently. Take full advantage of this and make any changes that you wanted to make back then but struggled with.

    A Stronger Connection

    Finally, as you return to riding after your break, I can almost guarantee that you will begin to create a stronger connection and partnership with your horse. There is something that happens to most of us with the passage of time. A greater appreciation for each individual we meet along our path. And this applies to our animals and horses as well.

    Getting back into the saddle after a longer break often opens riders up to just how much their connection to their horse is energy based. They tend to allow themselves to be more intuitively guided when it comes to their interactions with their horse. 

    Less emphasis is put on ‘doing things right’ and more is placed on ‘doing this together’. This will always lead to a greater respect; for the rider for their horse, and the horse for their rider. This connection is often what will get you through any speed wobbles when it comes to questioning if getting back in the saddle was the right decision.

    Over all, getting back in the saddle often becomes less about riding – and more about developing a deep trusting bond with your horse… Which is magic in itself. 

    Getting Back in the Saddle

    So, I’m hoping that if you’ve been on the fence about getting back in the saddle, I’ve helped to steer you closer to the ‘yes, I’m ready’ camp! Which is to actually do something. Take the next action! Let’s be honest, there are lots of actions you can take to get the ball rolling…

    However, I’m going to give you 3 specific things to choose from today:-

        1. Prepare Your Equipment & Space:- Start small and use your efforts here to inspire you to do more… I’ve got a free resource you can use that gives you a list of things you can do around the yard (or with your horse) when you find yourself with 15 minutes or less https://stridesforsuccess.com/15
        2. Groundwork Session with Your Horse:- Spend time reconnecting with your horse on the ground. This helps rebuild trust, establish communication, and get a feel for each other’s energy before riding. The Connection Partnership Program is a great way to add some structure to your time – while improving your aids for when you are back in the saddle again. Find out more at https://stridesforsuccess.com/cpp
        3. Lunging Session with Your Horse:- You can take things a step further by getting into the arena and working on 12 minutes of intentional lunging. I have a training to get you started, including audio horse riding lessons to follow for the first 3 lunging sessions together. You can get that for free at https://stridesforsuccess.com/3days

    Choose one of the above actions today, and commit to getting started in the coming 7 days. Then pop over to the Daily Strides Podcast Facebook Community and let me know what you’re planning on doing to kick start your journey back to regular riding again :)

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

    More on This Topic:-

    Online Training to Help Your Riding

    Connect with Lorna online:-

  • Enjoyment v’s Perfection; Release the Pressure!

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    Have you been allowing your goal of ‘doing things right’ to suck the joy and fun out of horse riding for you? Maybe you’ve been wanting to get back into riding after a long break, but you stop yourself because things are not 100% perfect. There’s a time and a place for perfection. Every single moment that you’re interacting with your horse is NOT that time!

    Today, I want to encourage you to let go of perfection. Release the pressure you’re putting on yourself and your horse for everything to be amazing. And just be present and enjoy the moment – warts and all! 

    Have you ever watched children playing and noticed how much pure fun they usually have? They are not worried about ‘playing the correct way’ or ‘doing it the right way’. They are simply there, at the moment, enjoying it as it all unfolds before them.

    Here’s how to begin approaching your riding and interactions with your horse the same way…

    Perfection Leaves Little Room for Fun!

    Years ago, I worked at a yard exercising horses. One of those horses was, in my opinion, really special. I absolutely adored working with him and riding him. After about a year, that same horse came up for sale. I was delighted and immediately made a plan and bought him. And then everything changed…

    Within a week I was falling off more than staying on! Things that were simple before felt impossible. Until I gave up! I admitted defeat, made the decision to sell him, and just stopped trying. And like magic – things were amazing again!

    You can work on improving yourself – AND have fun while doing it. So can your horse. If frustration, disappointment, or even avoidance make up a big part of your riding – you need to learn to release perfection. 

    Back then, I had been trying too hard with my new horse. I had placed so much emphasis on making everything perfect and right, that it was actually ruining everything!  Now, I’m not telling you this to say ‘give up’, but to show you how perfection can really and truly ruin so much in your riding.

    The Rider You ‘Used to Be’

    Another way this shows up for many riders who have been at this for a while is comparisonitis. These riders are comparing their current self with the version of themselves that used to ride 20 or 30 years ago. You’re not that person now. And this applies even if ‘that person’ was you only 3 months ago.

    You have to understand that the level of progress you make now is what’s possible for the rider you are now. Does this mean you must accept this as the be-all end-all going forward? No – you can definitely improve. But that will take a strategic approach, consistency, and time.

    You can only be as good as you are right now. This version of you. And if you want to be better, pinpoint things you can do to begin improving – and remember to give this version of you, right now, grace in the moment. 

    What Do You Enjoy?

    So there’s the comparison between past you and present you. And then there’s the trap of comparing yourself to others. Usually strangers. Who are willing to post their ‘highlights’ on social media for the world to see. Watching other riders, if you do it long enough, will almost always leave you feeling ‘less than’. Trying to reach that perceived standard of ‘perfection’.

    Keep in mind that every rider has their own journey. And it’s all of your experiences in life that makes up your riding style (not just equestrian experiences). This goes for other riders as well. So there is no way to compare. 

    So rather than trying to squeeze yourself into a style (think of it like an outfit) that belongs to someone else, find your own. What do you enjoy? Yes, you can try on different things that you see others doing or using. And if you like them, you will then blend that specific element into the rest of your style. The key here is to enjoy it all. Like what YOU do and are.

    And rather than it all being ‘perfect’, start looking for little things that feel good. Small pieces of the ride or interaction that you’re proud of. And focus on repeating those more often when you’re working with your horse

    What Is Success for You?

    Recently I was working with a rider online and I could see that frustration was creeping into her work with her horse. She was definitely aiming for some form of perfection. This was a horse she had recently purchased from someone she knew. After the lesson (our virtual private lesson – more information on that HERE), we got more into the nitty gritty of what was going on.

    It seems that she was trying to ride to ‘be like’ the horse’s previous owner. This owner was more experienced, about 6 inches taller, rode 6/7 days a week, and had a full-time trainer… It was like chalk and cheese! And there was no way that my rider was going to ‘win’ using the points she was comparing herself to! The perfection she was aiming for was just not realistic for her.

    So we worked on figuring out what a great ride would look like for her – at this exact point in her training and riding journey with this exact horse. We bantered around a few different versions until she eventually identified something that she both enjoyed and felt excited about doing. 

    Now, when she rides, she first spends time visualizing what’s possible for her at the place she is right now in her riding. And she works towards that in her ride. I can see both she and her horse enjoy themselves a lot more with this approach!

    Enjoyment v’s Perfection

    Another way to enjoy more about your riding is to become aware of the marker or measurement you’re using when working with your horse. Unfortunately, as adults, we can train ourselves to judge how ‘good’ something is by how much we achieve by doing the thing. And, in riding, this often revolves around competitions.

    At the beginning I mentioned how children love playing because they love playing. There’s no ‘winning’ or ‘result’. They are simply enjoying the moment. It is absolutely okay to ride because you love riding. 

    Yes, you can work on improving your relationship with your horse, but this should be because you want to develop the bond or partnership more. Not because you think you ‘should’. Or to win some competition (official or in your head).

    If you have been struggling with perfection in your riding, I challenge you to have at least one ‘pressure-free ride’ each week. The goal is simply to enjoy being with your horse and to remain present throughout the session.

    Enjoyment; How Did ‘WE’ Feel Today?

    As you move through this week with your horse, try to notice where you are being a little hard and rigid with yourself or your horse. When you notice excessive tension creeping in; stop what you’re doing. Notice how it feels in your body and then try to work back and find the thought that triggered it.

    Once you’ve discovered this thought (which is probably on repeat a lot in your head), challenge yourself to come up with something different to think…

    “Did I do that as well as Barbara does when she rides?” can become “How did that feel for me?”. Or if you find yourself thinking “Why can’t I do this now – I could do this 7 years ago!”, stop and turn it into “That’s interesting; I wonder how I can approach this differently?”. Or even “Do I have to do this at all?”…

    Spend 30 days prioritizing developing your bond or partnership with your horse over achieving perfection in what you’re doing. You can still work on the thing – but you’re approaching it through a different filter. 

    5 Prompts for Your Riding Journal

    If this is something you find yourself doing over and over again; use any of these 5 prompts and begin working on enjoying your rides and your time more with your horse.

          1. “What unrealistic expectations am I placing on myself as a rider, and how can I adjust them?”
          2. “If I took away all expectations and pressure, what would my ideal ride feel like?”
          3. “What are three ways I can measure success in my riding that don’t involve performance or outcomes?”
          4. “What would a joyful, pressure-free ride look like for me?”
          5. “What fears or worries come up when I think about my riding, and how can I reframe them into something more positive?”

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

    More on This Topic:-

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  • Your Riding Comeback – Creating Something You Love!

    Your Riding Comeback – Creating Something You Love!

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    In order to make your riding comeback a lasting one, you will have to begin spending more time in the saddle than you have been recently. It makes sense, right?!  And yet, while clocking up those minutes and hours in the saddle each week can initially ‘seem’ to be a win… They are likely working against you and your horse in the long run.
    This is because when we ride for the sake of just riding (clock-in riding), we tend to become a little too ‘lax’ about some of the things. The basic things that lay the foundation for everything else.
    And when you begin to allow the small things to slide, chances are the bigger things will follow suit pretty quickly. This usually holds true for you, the rider, and your horse, especially in your training and development.
    So, instead of just riding for the sake of riding, I’m challenging you to begin getting a little more strategic and intentional with each of your training sessions with your horse. Yes, not just ‘rides’, but training sessions.

    Training Sessions Versus ‘Rides’

    Often, this one simple shift in how we think and talk about what we are doing with our horses can be enough. When you approach a ride as a training session, your mind will immediately begin wondering about what you are actually ‘training’ on… What is the focus for that particular session together?
    And when each ride becomes an opportunity to train and develop, you can begin to set up a more strategic plan to string those rides together to create something more…
    Picture in your. mind a handmade bead necklace. If some thought and ‘intention’ went into the creation of that necklace, you will, usually, be able to identify a pattern of sorts regarding the beads, their placement, and how they all relate to each other. The beads can all vary in size, shape, and colour – but they will usually relate in some way to the one that came before and the one that comes after. They ‘follow through’ to each other. And the result is a well-crafted necklace that is balanced and aesthetically pleasing.

    “…Your training sessions are like those beads. Each one should ‘lead’ or ‘relate’ to both the one before and after… And if you can string them together, it will result in changes to your riding…”

    All Work and No Play?

    Let’s go back to talking about that necklace again… A well-designed one will, usually, have a little variety in it as well. And this is also essential when making your riding comeback. Again, it is all about being intentional. I believe that all riding and training plans need to include three separate types of ‘rides’ with your horse; fun, partnership, and training. The ratio of these to each other will depend on what your goals are. Both long and short-term.
    When we forget to include (or intentionally omit) any of these three elements, things can begin to feel repetitive and even boring in our riding.
    I have spoken about these on separate episodes of the Daily Strides Podcast which I will link to. Each post includes a list of activities you can use to help you spark ideas – and begin ‘stringing’ along to help you create an intentional riding plan.

    Being Flexible

    Once you have identified the basics for your rides over the next two weeks, it simply becomes about following your plan. And keep in mind that horses have a great way of teaching us to be supple and flexible in our approach to plans! I highly recommend building ‘wiggle room’ into your plan. And this applies to both yourself, your horse, and the training.  There will be days when your schedule won’t match up to your plan. Be flexible and see what you can change, shuffle, or adjust, either with the schedule or the training session.
    There will also be days when energy levels, attitudes, or moods won’t ‘line up’ with the session that’s planned.
    Rather than pushing through and potentially putting both of your training backward, maybe swap out a training session for a partnership or fun session.  The goal is to create something that works for you and your horse. And that keeps you both inspired and moving forward – rather than just riding for the sake of riding.

    Patterns & Balance

    Finally, when you do find something that works well for you and your horse, use it. Let it be the thing that helps you create a pattern, or a rhythm throughout our rides. This could be a particular groundpole exercise, a certain trail ride, or a groundwork exercise. It could be a massage, a way of grooming, or a specific warm-up or cool-down routine.
    Whatever it is, if it works, use it to help you create a pattern – think of the beads in the necklace – for the coming two or three weeks.
    Over time, it will probably change again, and this is where you will have to dig into your suppleness. However, if something is working – use it.
    Your riding does not and should not be to simply clock in a certain number of hours in the saddle each week.
    While this might get you going in the short term, it is simply not sustainable – and your comeback will fizzle out before it ever really gets going for you and your horse.
    Happy Riding
    Lorna

    Your Comeback to Riding

    You are unique as a rider. So it makes sense that your journey back to regular riding will be yours and yours alone.  Keep in mind that you can look to different plans and advice for inspiration. However, each should be then tweaked to suit your individual journey and circumstances.

    If you would like help with your comeback to riding, make sure you check out Returning to Riding. 9 weeks to get your basics onto autopilot so that you can make the transition from passenger to ‘rider’ for you and your horse. We will work together, using easy-to-follow audio horse riding lessons and weekly video reviews to help you transform your riding.

    Experience how you will go from feeling ‘floppy’, unbalanced, and lacking confidence in your abilities when in the saddle, to gaining control of your body and aids, practicing clear communication, and actually improving how your horse goes while being ridden. 

    With 9 weeks of private, 1 to 1 coaching with me over a secure video, voice, and text app, you will have all the support you need – and a proven program you can re-do with your horse time and again to polish both of your skills.

    Make sure you check out Returning to Riding today for all of the information.

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

    Get Going Again in Your Riding:-

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