Strides for Success

Tag: goals

  • Horse Riding as a Parent – How to Make It Work

    Horse Riding as a Parent – How to Make It Work

    [fusebox_track_player url=”https://op3.dev/e/traffic.libsyn.com/dailystridespodcast/1278_Horse_Riding_as_a_Parent_Making_it_Work_for_You.mp3″ title=”Horse Riding as a Parent – Making it Work” social_linkedin=”true” social_pinterest=”true” social_email=”true” tweet_text=”Blending horse riding and parenting… This might help you :)” hashtag=”horseriding #parenting #equestrianpodcast” twitter_username=”strides_success” ]

    Can I tell you something funny?  Years ago, before I had children, I was one of ‘those’ people. You know the ones that say “when I have children, I will have them at the stables with me all the time because nothing will change”.  I usually followed it up with something offhand like “they will fit in with my schedule”.  Ha, ha, ha!! Oh, how naive it was back then!

    If you are trying to juggle horse riding and parenting, you will know all too well that they can often clash. The time, focus, and attention that is necessary to really improve as a rider can often leave us feeling like we’re stealing time from our children!  Or that our children are stealing valuable ‘riding time’ from us!

    Finding time to devote to your riding when you are a parent can truly be a challenge

    However, by setting a few healthy boundaries, becoming more disciplined with your time, and a lot of luck, it can be done 🙂

    Horse riding as a Parent

    Before I had my children, I had this wonderful story in my head of how things would be if I became a mother someday… This generally involved lots of laughter, riding together in nature, peace and tranquillity, and little people who were very capable from the get-go. I know, if you have small children, trust me we are laughing together other now!

    For me, the biggest challenge has been merging the consistency required for horse riding as a parent with the responsibilities of being an actual parent!

    I have found that no matter how well I plan or try to cover all of my bases with regards to ‘what might happen’, children are wonderful at creating new scenarios that I never even considered up to that point!

    Couple this with them wanting to accompany me to the stables ALL OF THE TIME, and then help them work with their ponies… Time spent in the saddle really does begin to take a knock. And this is not even mentioning being able to focus and physically ‘ride’ after a couple of hours of broken sleep. Or squeezing rides in between meals, car drives, and all the other wonderful things that life with children introduces!

    However, after speaking with other brave souls who are committed to horse riding as a parent, and blending their advice with what I have found to work, I have become a lot more successful in making this happen.

    1. Be Flexible – and Expect the Unexpected!

    This has probably been the most useful advice for me as I continue to navigate the whole horse riding as a parent journey. You see, I would find myself feeling more frustrated than compassionate when unexpected things showed up.

    By shifting my focus to appreciating the days when the plan worked, I found I was much more relaxed when faced with the days that it didn’t!

    I realize that gratitude is a word that has been bandied around a little too much over the past few years. However, noticing and appreciating the days that I was able to ride really did help me shift my mindset.

    Being grateful for the days I got to ride also helped me to be more focused, disciplined, and intentional with my time in the saddle as well

    2. Have a Plan for Your Rides

    Once I got over the frustration of not being able to stick to my plan, I began to plan a little differently. And I would highly suggest this way of doing things if you have a schedule that may also change suddenly.

    I began to keep a list of things that I wanted to work on or do during my ‘riding time’. There were 3 ‘groups’ of topics depending on how much time I found myself at the yard

    You see, once I began to truly embrace horse riding as a parent, I realized that there was value in the smaller pockets of time in my life. 10 minutes alone took on a whole new meaning for me! So, I began to plan accordingly!

    My list had things I could do in 15, 30, or 1 hour or less. Each of those groups had riding, groundwork, and stable management items on them

    By doing this, I found I always had something meaningful to do, even if my plan changed at the drop of a hat. It also allowed me to make the absolute most of the time I did have with my horses. Get a list of 80+ Topics to do with your horse HERE

    1278 - Horse Riding as a Parent

    3. Get Support & Set Boundaries

    Support can be a tricky one, especially when young children are involved. It can be as simple as asking a grandparent to watch the children one afternoon a week, to paying a babysitter. Support can also come from your partner or the child’s other parent.

    What I suggest doing is creating a list of all the ways you can free up some pockets of time for yourself to ride your horse, from the easiest to maybe some less ideal or likely situations. Then begin asking…

    I also found that making my horse riding a ‘non-negotiable’ really worked for me. Seeing it as an important appointment that I couldn’t just cancel on a whim. This helped me to prioritize a little better, which often meant creating stronger boundaries.

    You can create boundaries for both yourself and those around you. And keep in mind, your boundaries will only be as effective as how well you decide on them, communicate them, and enforce them…

    4. Involve Your Children

    This might not always go to plan, especially if you have this perfect picture in your head as I had before children! However, if you are realistic and patient, this can really be worth your while. Be realistic with your expectations of each visit to the yard with your children. They will most likely want it to be all about them and their pony, so allow for that.

    Plan activities that you can do together so you can spark curiosity in your child. Think about things that are safe and also a little mentally or physically challenging for them

    Remember, this won’t be the day that you will get a huge amount of focused, uninterrupted riding time in! However, it might just be a stepping stone for your child to begin becoming an independent equestrian in their own right.

    It’s also worth remembering that as your child grows, they will have their own opinions, likes, methods, and beliefs about horse riding – and they might not always line up with yours!

    Try not to crush their enthusiasm by dictating the terms of their relationship with their horse. Rather see your role as a guide. At the end of the day, they are on their own journey as a rider. Encourage rather than cut down and stifle.

    5. Be Patient… This Will Also Change

    My final piece of advice is to simply be patient.  And, most of the time, accept the situation you find yourself in. Horse riding as a parent can either be one of the things that will propel your riding and your development forward. Or see you being endlessly frustrated and annoyed with your current circumstances.

    Be honest with yourself; some days your responsibilities as a parent will mean that you won’t get to do what you wanted to with your horse

    And that is okay… I like to think of my life as a series of seasons. Different areas are in different seasons at any one time. And this means that when I’m experiencing summer and growth in one area, there will be winter and hibernation in another.

    By getting truly clear on your priorities, and your values, and then creating goals that align with those, you can make horse riding as a parent work for you and your family.

    Happy Riding

    Lorna

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  • What is ‘Doing It’ for You and Your Horse?

    What is ‘Doing It’ for You and Your Horse?

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    It’s always the same.  The same sentences are being spoken and written about the same things. And I’ve been thinking about why it is this way.  Why do most riders make the same ‘resolutions’ year in and year out?  Rather than growing, building, and developing so that they get to create something different each year they are together?
    How about this year, you try something different for you and your horse?  Something that you can feel a sense of accomplishment about?

    Commit to ‘Doing It’…

    Now, I get that ‘doing it’ is fairly vague!  It’s one of those phrases that can mean anything to anyone. And this is where the magic lives.  It is as individual and unique as you and your horse are when working together. Which allows you to make it anything that you want it to be.
    I am going to suggest that from today, you begin to think about what ‘doing it’ is for you and your horse.
    Start with thinking about what ‘being an equestrian’ means for you.  Does it mean a deeper connection with your horse?  Perhaps it is with horses in general.  Maybe it is riding skills and training skills that really define an equestrian for you.  Or the number of hours spent with horses on a weekly basis…
    ‘Doing’ horses or being an equestrian can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. However, all that really matters is what it means for you…
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    Start Making Small Tweaks

    Once you have defined this for you and your horse, begin thinking about small things you can do on certain days to move you closer to ‘being’ this in your life.  Maybe it is something as simple as listening to an episode of your favorite equestrian podcast (hopefully the Daily Strides Podcast😉 ) about something you want to work on or learn more about.
    It could be something as simple as buying a bag of carrots and committing to giving two a day to your horse and having some ‘quiet time’ together…
    Often the thing that holds us back from achieving our version of ‘doing it’ is that we expect absolute perfection from the start! Anything that is not 100% like the picture in our heads just doesn’t make the cut, and therefore doesn’t get done.
    And yet, it is these small imperfect but intentional actions that move us closer to actually someday realizing that we are indeed ‘doing it’ and ‘being an equestrian’.

    What’s Your Version?

    So, with all of that said, my question to you today is ‘What does your version of “we’re doing it” look like when it comes to you and your horse?’.  What will you focus on doing more, so that you can feel proud, accomplished, satisfied, and content when it comes to your next riding review?
    Or when, 11 months from now, it comes to looking back over the year that was 2023?  What will prove to you that you and your horse ‘did it’?
    That is where to start… Begin focusing your energies and attention there and see where it takes you going forward🙂
    Happy Riding
    Lorna
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  • Here’s Exactly What to Do In Your Riding This Week

    Here’s Exactly What to Do In Your Riding This Week

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    What are your plans for your riding this week? Specific plans… Not what you think you will do.  Or what you ‘might’ do if you have time…

    One of the biggest things that hold riders back, particularly riders who are working alone, is the lack of a plan. 

    And this does not have to be the case.  Yes, I get that you’re probably not a horse riding instructor or trainer.  I also realize that you have no real experience in creating the plan.  However, you know you best.  And, you also know what you want.

    So with those two things in mind, I am going to give you the step-by-step approach I advise my riders to use that will get you into the saddle with intention and purpose, week after week, going forward. 

    Get your journal out, pens at the ready… And let’s go :)

    1 . Identify What You Want

    Do you have a goal for yourself and your horse?  This time next year, where do you want to be when it comes to your riding and your overall relationship with your horse?  I am hoping that you have some sort of goal.  If not, I can almost guarantee you that your riding will begin to feel a little ‘same old, same old’ very soon!

    Once you have a longer-term goal, think about 3 months from now.  90 days or 12 weeks.  What would you like to achieve then that would help get you to that bigger, farther away from goal?

    Finally, what about 1 month from now.  28 days or 4 weeks… What do you want to have achieved?

    This goal can be something specific, like being able to strike off on the correct canter lead 90% of the time with your horse.  Or it can be more ‘action’ based, such as ‘I want to have ridden 16 times this month.  Whatever it is, write it down.  You’re going to work towards it this coming week.

    2 . Look For 3 Different Approaches

    Okay, once you have your goal for the upcoming month, I want you to begin thinking about different things you can do to work on that thing.  We rarely ever make progress in our riding by just focusing on a single aspect of something.  There is usually (always?) a more holistic approach needed.  Find those other ways…

    I am going to use ‘better canter transitions’ as the goal, and give you a few different ideas for different approaches based on improving that specific thing in your riding. 

    You can first approach it by working on your self-carriage and posture in order to give clearer and more specific aids to your horse.  The second approach is to work on your timing.  Remember, you can have the best aids in the world, but if you’re asking at the wrong time, it won’t matter!

    The third approach you can take to improving your canter transitions would be to work on suppleness & straightness.  This would be particularly useful if you notice that you or your horse are falling in, or falling out.  Maybe you’re buckling during the canter. These are the loose themes you can use to flesh out your week (and the rest of the month) in your riding schedule.

    The point is that all 3 of these approaches can be used to help you achieve a better transition into the canter, without actually having to keep constantly cantering over and over.  

    3 . Look at Your Schedule

    What is happening this coming week that you have to show up for?  These things are probably not horse related… But they have to be seen to or attended.  Mark those in your calendar.  Doctor appointments, shopping trips, farrier, work commitments, school commitments… Put them all in.

    Now, have a look and see where you have open space that you can fill with riding (riding being both actual riding, lunging, groundwork, and long lining)

    Keep in mind that we have a habit, as riders, of overestimating how much time we actually need when it comes to working with our horses.  However, 10 minutes of intentional, focused groundwork on one of your topics for the month will help move the conversation forward.

    Once you have your schedule, begin filling in the riding activities and exercises that you have chosen to work on with your horse.

    Try and get a blend of different activities, and approaches, to keep it fresh and interesting for both of you. 

    4 . Doing The Work…

    The final piece of the puzzle is to stay in integrity with yourself and do what you said you were going to do.  There will be days when you just don’t feel like going out in the cold or the sun. You might have days when your schedule goes a little ‘wonky’ and you will need to move things about.  It happens, so work with it.  However, on those days when you just don’t feel like it, push on through…

    Try to remember that the rider who created the schedule is probably a better version of the rider you are actually being today.  Follow her instructions, rather than yours at that exact moment in time! 

    And riding for the sake of riding will never move anything forward.  Clock in riding does not work, so rather work on the thing you said you would work on and see where it leads you :)

    Your Previous 20 Rides

    If you look back at the last 20 rides you’ve had with your horse, how many were planned and intentional?  If all 20 were that, well done.  You’re doing great keep going because I bet you are moving forward.

    However, if you have no real idea what you were doing and why you were doing it… Please, do yourself and your horse a favour and follow this plan for this week. 

    And not just for the week, try it for the month and then let me know how it goes. You can DM me on Instagram, or message me on Facebook.  I am looking forward to hearing from you.

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

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  • Stop Wasting & Start Investing Your Time with Your Horse

    Stop Wasting & Start Investing Your Time with Your Horse

    [fusebox_track_player url=”https://op3.dev/e/traffic.libsyn.com/dailystridespodcast/1176_Stop_Wasting_and_Begin_Investing_Your_Time_With_Your_Horse.mp3″ title=”Stop Wasting and Begin Investing Your Time with Your Horse” social_linkedin=”true” social_pinterest=”true” social_email=”true” tweet_text=”Riding alone is not going to improve your riding…” hashtag=”equestrian #equestrianpodcast” twitter_username=”strides_success” ]

    We are all guilty of wasting time at some point or another in our day to day lives. However, I want to challenge you for 1 month to NOT waste any more of your time with your horse. Riding for the sake of saying you rode is a waste of time. Clocking in the hours is not the same as being productive with those hours.

    And if you have stopped riding or you’re not riding as much as you ‘want’… Could it be that the riding you were doing was ‘wasting time’ rather than working towards something that really inspired you?

    Change is Okay & Maybe Necessary

    As I write this we are getting ready to begin the final month of 2020. The official year of the curveball. December is always a time when most people do a little review of what was, and begin planning goals for the new year.

    I personally don’t think you have to wait until the official end of a calendar year to do this, meaning if you are reading this in July 2021, apply this now!

    The world as a whole has changed so much recently, is it possible that the goals you set for yourself and your horse in December 2019 might need to be tweaked? Or even scrapped? Has this year benefited you regarding focus and identifying what is a priority? Or has it left you feeling uncertain about anything?

    I want you to read or listen to this with an open mind. A clean slate. And I would love it if you could set some goals with that same openness and readiness to start new and fresh if necessary.

    Your Time with Your Horse…

    Start with putting into actual words what makes you happy when you’re with your horse. What do you enjoy doing? Not what you ‘think’ you should enjoy doing… Only what you actually love to do and could potentially spend all day every day doing with your horse. Maybe it is groundwork. Trail riding? Practicing transitions. Grooming your horse’s tail (my personal favorite at this moment in time).

    If every interaction with your horse feels tiring, heavy, fear-filled, anxious, or any of those more negative emotions, I am going to bet that you are working on and towards the wrong things for you as a rider.

    So often we learn to discount our feelings regarding what we like and what we don’t. We have been trained to do what we don’t want to do in order to reach some goal. And yes, sometimes you will have to participate in some ‘uncomfortable’ moments in order to stretch and grow yourself. But EVERY SINGLE RIDE should not feel like that.  Your time with your horse will can be as enjoyable as you want it to be.

    The ‘hard stuff’ should be sprinkled in between the ‘good stuff’. If your average ride feels the other way around, it is up to you to change it.

    Old Goals – Permission to Drop Them

    I have been guilty of ‘carrying over’ goals from one year to the next regarding riding and life in general. The thinking is that “I didn’t achieve or reach that ‘yet’, so I’ll just bring it with me into the new year”. This is not a great strategy for success! And if you are also in the habit of doing this I am urging you to stop right now!

    Instead of automatically carrying goals from one year to the next, rather access what the reasons were for you not actually achieving those goals…

    If your goals were created by a previous version of you, is it possible that the current version of you is not really that into those same goals? Also, if your goals were created by someone else for you, is it again possible that they are not actually lighting you up when you’re in the saddle?

    Most goals that we don’t achieve or reach simply don’t align with our current values and priorities.

    Your Priorities & Values

    If I was to look at your actual schedule for the past month or 30 days, I’m going to see what you deem important right now in your life. And actual meaning what you really did – not what you wanted to or what you said you would do. This can be a harsh truth for many riders. It doesn’t need to be.

    Life has seasons. The key is to create riding goals that work with the current season you’re in.

    2020 has, for many riders, been an opportunity to get clear on what is really important. On what we want to protect and nurture when the proverbial fit is hitting the shan. Use this knowledge to help you create riding goals that work for you and your horse. Riding goals that support your current lifestyle, not steal from it or work against it.  Goals that allow you to make the most of your time with your horse.

    Get clear on what you value on your life. What comes first regarding your energy, your time and your focus. And what is non-negotiable.

    Work Towards Goals that Count

    From here, I strongly suggest figuring out what time you actually can spend on your riding. Again, make sure that this fits in with your current schedule and lifestyle. Use each interaction in a way that will move you closer to the goal that you have set.

    Remember to build fun into your training program. With your specific goal, what can you do once or twice a week that is fun for both you and your horse?

    This will help you to keep things fresh, keep things aligned, and keep you both interested in the job at hand. I believe that one of your greatest responsibilities as a rider is to ensure that your time with your horse is happy and productive for everyone.

    If you would like more help with this process, join me inside of Connection, my monthly membership for equestrians. In there I will help you to make the most of your time in the saddle.

    Intentional riding = investing your time in your own wellbeing, health, and your skills as a rider.

    Be intentional

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

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  • A Plan for 7 Days in Your Riding

    A Plan for 7 Days in Your Riding

    [fusebox_track_player url=”https://op3.dev/e/traffic.libsyn.com/dailystridespodcast/1171_A_Plan_for_7_Days_in_Your_Riding.mp3″ title=”Create a Plan for 7 Days in Your Riding” social_linkedin=”true” social_pinterest=”true” social_email=”true” tweet_text=”What are you doing this week with your horse?” hashtag=”equestrianpodcast” twitter_username=”strides_success” ]

    What will you be doing with your horse this week? Seem’s like an innocent enough question… ‘Ah, a bit of this and a dash of that’…

    And there is the problem. If you committed to actually planning out the answer to this question for the coming 4 weeks in your riding, you can, potentially, change everything.

    The Same Thing = The Same Result

    So many riders are doing the same thing, day in and day out, and then feeling frustrated by the lack of results.

    They go out there, day after day. Clock in their respective rides. For some, it might be 4 a week. Others might be happy with 2 a week. There is a feeling of accomplishment having ‘gotten in’ the two or four rides for that week. But what has really changed? What was intentional? Focused?

    And are your results merely reflecting your lack of doing anything different?

    Is it possible that you are, in fact, seeing results? You are failing to see them because they are simply the same ones you’ve been seeing for quite a while now… Doing the same thing over and over will achieve one result. The same one! Expecting anything different is wishful thinking!

    No Magic Portals

    As I write this, close to the end of October 2020, there are no portals that I know of. No quantum leaps or jumps that will take us from where we are to where we want to go. You cannot click your fingers and magically be at a different level in your riding or your abilities as a rider.

    The only way to get from Point A to Point B is to create a plan and then take action on that plan.

    I think what holds riders back with regards to their plan is the details. We tend to get too caught up in them. This causes two things to happen. 1. We simply stop taking action because it seems too complicated. 2. We put the plan into action because all the details are not yet ironed out.

    Creating CheckPoints

    This is where I believe checkpoints are important. Points that you know you have to reach in order to get to the bigger goal. How you get to those points is open to suggestions. There are many ways. And you must first make it to one point before really committing to how you’re you going to get to the next.

    Have a few key checkpoints identified for you and your horse. Then simply focus on the details regarding getting to the next one.

    One Week In Advance

    Once you have your loose plan and your identified checkpoints, you can then begin looking at the coming 7 days. Yep, only 7. The coming week. Sit down somewhere at the beginning of your week and plan out the next 7 days in your riding.

    Start by identifying what days you can actually work with your horse.

    Have a rough idea of how long you will have on each of those days. If there are days where you can only realistically get 45 minutes, begin thinking about what you can do for those 45 minutes to help you reach that next checkpoint.

    Your whole plan for the coming 7 days should center around two key elements; having fun and reaching your next checkpoint

    That’s it. Nothing fancy and definitely nothing that will only be really useful 4 checkpoints on from now. Keep it all simple and watch how it helps you move forward.

    Consistent for 4 Weeks

    I suggest an initial 12-week plan to all of my riders. However, if you have not done this before, I am going to ask you to give it a go for 4 weeks. If you are consistently doing things for 4 weeks that are moving you towards one specific checkpoint, you will see results in your riding.

    Success is simply doing the right things consistently. The right things are the ‘next steps’ to get you to that very next checkpoint.

    If you would like help with this, join Connection for a month. Connection is my online membership for equestrians. In there you will not only get a riding plan for the month but audio training you can use while riding to keep you focused and moving forward.

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

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  • Why You Need to Start Your Riding Journal Today

    Why You Need to Start Your Riding Journal Today

    I have a little ‘test’ for you… Can you describe, in full detail, each interaction you had with your horse 4 weeks ago? Yes, go back 4 weeks and each of the lunging or riding sessions you had with your horse, describe what happened. How was your mood? What did you focus on and how did that go?

    Why You Need to Start Your Riding Journal Today

    Now, I’m going to bet that you can probably give some information about those rides. However, can you see how all of the rides begin blending together with the passing of time? Specific details become blurred and more difficult to pinpoint.

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    A riding journal is a simple way to ensure you have all the details in one place so that you can use them to help you develop your riding and your horse.

    And yet, why do we so often equate simple to worthless? We rather look for complicated because we think it guarantees better results. I don’t know the answer to this. But I’m asking you to try using a simple journal for your riding. And I’m making a bold statement that has the power to change everything…

    The Power of Objectivity

    How do you feel after each ride? It probably varies between a lot of different emotions. And the issue comes in when those emotions begin flavoring our opinion of each ride. As a trainer, I see, on an almost weekly basis, riders who become caught up in all the feels. They ‘think’ the ride was good and they are on cloud nine. Or, the opposite.

    The ride is just a ride. It’s really neither good nor bad. Your feelings about it are what make it that.

    And when you are holding on to all that emotion about the ride, it can be hard to see the real picture of what happened. Like a coach or trainer would if they were with you in the arena. Which is one of the big reasons a coach or trainer is so valuable? They are not getting all caught up in the emotion. They are looking at each ride objectively.

    A journal will allow you to do this for yourself. To review each ride a month from now, minus all of the emotion, so that you can really learn from it. You can use that information to adapt and adjust going forward.

    Begin Looking for Patterns

    So once you can look at your riding from a different perspective, patterns will begin to emerge. I have a previous post HERE about what to actually take note of with regards to your riding journal. Some of the things that can almost seem trivial have the potential to be really eyeopening for you.

    The time of day and your energy levels can make all the difference in your attitude towards your riding.

    Rides that happen close to unpleasant interactions or stressful reoccurring situations is another one to look out for. Feeding times and your horse’s attitude can play a huge role in his focus and dedication. The subtle changes that show up 2 or 3 days after you ride a particular exercise. Or ride in a certain arena or area.

    Noticing the patterns will allow you to begin tweaking your schedule to get more of the ‘good’ rides in. And if every ride is truly a stepping stone, this can begin making all the difference to your progress in the long run.

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

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