Strides for Success

Tag: Mindset

  • Why Your Riding Falls Apart Under Pressure (and How to Fix It)

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    This morning I sat in a big school hall, surrounded by parents buzzing with anticipation, watching my six-year-old son and his classmates step onto the stage for their very first school concert.  And as I was watching them put their weeks of practice into action, I began thinking how we, as riders, can learn a thing or three from these Little People.

    I think as riders, we can often forget that practice is just that. Practice. And the reason we practice is for when we find ourselves in a situation where the pressure is on! 

    The children’s concert reminded me of how important it is to both do the practice and then learn from the experiences when we put that practice into action… Especially when we find ourselves outside of our comfort zone!

    Things Will Go Sideways

    I think the first big takeaway from this is the fact that we need to be open to, and plan for, things going ‘sideways’!. You and your horse, just like those Little People on the stage this morning, are not polished robots!  Meaning that while you can put in the hours and do the work, practicing, and practicing… Still, when you find yourself ‘under pressure’, things can and most likely will go sideways!

    As I sat there smiling (and occasionally giggling quietly to myself), I realized how much this parallels what happens to us as riders, both in our own training and when we’re working with our horses.

    The consistent practice prepares you and your horse – but the added new and different pressure changes the game. And the question then becomes, “Can you adapt?”.

    What is ‘Pressure’?

    Okay, put your hand up if this sounds about right for you and your horse…. When you’re riding, doing your usual day-to-day ‘stuff’, you usually practice in a controlled or predictable environment.  This could be your arena, over the same set of jumps, the same transitions, on the same trail, or over the same cross-country track in the same quiet setting. And that is good. That is where we refine, repeat, and rehearse until things feel pretty solid.

    But the moment we step into a different situation, whether that’s a show, a clinic, or even just riding in a new arena or hacking on a new trail, the ‘pressure’ changes! We (horse and rider) become more ‘aware’…

    And please hear me when I say that ‘pressure’ doesn’t have to mean competition. In fact, you can add more pressure in your day-to-day riding in your usual arena if you want. It’s a change. And it can be as simple as:-

          • Riding in a different part of the farm
          • A wheelie bin suddenly shows up at a neighbour’s gate while out on the road
          • A friend is watching your lesson
          • Your horse suddenly feels ‘more energised’ because you’re riding somewhere different!

    That change can make what, before, felt smooth in practice, suddenly unravel!

    BUT – and this is the important bit –  just like those LIttle People on the stage this morning, it doesn’t mean you’re failing… it means you’re taking action, and now know where the next level of your ‘practice’ needs to begin. 

    A Few Real Life Examples

    Over the years, I’ve seen this play out countless times in the arena and beyond. Here are three examples that highlight the reality and the growth that come when practice meets pressure.

    1. The Jumping Track Nerves

    Okay, I’m using myself as the first example! You see, when I was younger, I used to practice jumping tracks at home with my pony. We were great (if I do say so myself :) ). I could memorize the course easily, and my pony was a great saint of a partner! At home, we were golden.

    But the second we got to a show, that all changed. For me, the ‘pressure’ was the thought that ‘everyone was watching me’! I’d freeze up, even though we’d practiced everything and knew it like the back of our hand!

    Luckily, I had a saint of a woman working with me then, and she gave me the simplest but most effective tool: sing a song while riding the course. For me, it was “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” And you know what? It worked.

    The singing broke the tension, shifted my focus, and allowed all the practice I had put in to come through. It wasn’t perfect, but it was progress. And my new practice became riding in front of other people. 

    2. The Sitting Trot Struggle

    Here’s another way this can show up – but in the horse this time. So there was a rider I was working with a few years ago, and she was determined to improve her sitting trot for dressage. She practiced tirelessly at home, and things felt good. But at her first show, where the sitting trot was required, she forgot to factor her horses ‘enthusiasm’ into the equation!

    As you probably know, when your horse feels the energy of the occasion, the trot tends to become ‘bigger’. And her carefully practiced sitting trot dissolved under the pressure – and the ‘more’ happening under her!

    The ‘bigger’ the trot became, the more she tensed up! Which resulted in a bigger ‘bounce’ and it was just feeling like a complete lost cause…  But instead of quitting, she relaxed into the moment. She accepted that this was different from home and allowed her body to move with the horse instead of fighting against it. By the end of the test, her sitting trot started to resemble what she’d practiced, and more importantly, she now knew what to expect and how to prepare for next time.

    3. The Plastic Bag Spook

    Another rider was recently out hacking her young horse when they came across the dreaded nemesis of equestrians everywhere: a random plastic bag stuck and fluttering in a tree! Her horse, usually the calmest and compliant soul, was absolutely freaked out. Here they were in a setting that they both knew – but with this absolutely unwanted ‘invader’ in their story!

    As her horse was literally having a heart attack, she too found herself going from 0 to 60 and tried to ‘push’ him past it. But then she realized that this was in complete opposition to everything she had been working on with her horse up to this point.

    In fact, this was the exact moment she had been practicing for! She realigned and ‘modelled’ for her horse what she was looking for.  She chose to remain consistent and calm – and he followed suit. 

    Slowly, her horse mirrored her steadiness, and they got through it. That moment became a huge building block in their partnership, teaching her horse that even when things went sideways, he could trust her lead.

    Mistakes Can Be Confidence Builders

    Okay, all of this to say that I feel more riders need to realise that mistakes under pressure are not evidence that all your practice was wasted! In fact, it’s quite the opposite.  Those children today walked off that stage feeling more confident than they were before.

    Not because everything went perfectly, but because they did it, and in all of the chaos, they realized they survived, even thrived! 

    The same is true for riders and horses. Every “wonky” moment is a chance to grow resilience. Every imperfect ride builds confidence. Every sideways detour teaches you something new.  When you and your horse get through a pressured situation, you come out stronger on the other side.

    So, how do you take this mindset into your own training? How can you begin to see things differently so that you can both feel a renewed sense of enthusiasm about your training – and see a clear path to go forward on?  I feel that these are a few simple, but often forgotten, things to remember:-

          • Expect things to go sideways; that’s not failure, it’s real life.
          • Stay compassionate, to yourself and your horse. Mistakes are learning opportunities – not crimes!
          • Reframe the moment. See it as practice under pressure, not proof you’re failing.
          • Stay consistent and aligned; your horse will look to you for stability.
          • Celebrate effort. Acknowledge what went right, not just what went wrong.

    Just like nobody shouted at the Little People this morning for facing the wrong way or waving when they should have been clapping… Don’t shout at yourself or your horse for mistakes! What matters is showing up and giving it a go.

    Confidence WILL Grow

    If you can remember that this is part of the learning journey, there is a little magic that happens… You become reenergised and even more enthusiastic about working with your horse going forward. I really do believe that the children, helpers, teachers, and parents all left that concert today more enthusiastic about the next one.

    The practice had paid off, not because everything went perfectly, but because the experience was richer for its imperfections. And now there’s a map to work with going forward

    When you embrace the chaos in your riding, you not only grow your skills, but you grow your love for the process. And that enthusiasm will carry you and your horse forward far more powerfully than a “perfect” ride ever could.

    If this resonates with you, I’d love to help you put it into practice. Make sure you sign up and try the Your Signature Ride Challenge. It’s a fun, no-judgment way to practice applying pressure in your rides and learn to stay consistent with your aids.

    And remember, your confidence isn’t built when everything goes right. Neither is your horses. It’s built when things go wonky, and you keep going anyway!

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

    Restart & Reschool

    And if you would like a little more 1-to-1 coaching, explore Restart & Reschool Private Coaching. It is perfect if you’re starting your practice – or if you’re looking to turn your existing practice into something ‘real’ for you and your horse. I’ll guide you step by step on the way! You’ll not only get the full ‘OTTB; From Racetrack to Ready Program’, but also fornightly private lessons with me to move you forward in your riding.

    We can work on anything you would like; from groundwork, to lunging, to riding, to jumping… With the virtual private lessons, we can do all of these things – and more.  If you would like to find out me, you can let me know a little more about you HERE and I will then reach back out and we can chat!

    This is the support, training, and accountability you’ve been missing to finally follow through and start seeing progress. No fluff. No overwhelm. And as flexible as you need for your lifestyle. 

    Online Training & Coaching

    Connect with Lorna online:-

  • Your Riding Isn’t Improving? Learning More Might Not Help…

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    If your riding hasn’t changed, it’s probably not because you haven’t learned something new. It’s more likely because you haven’t committed to doing something new.  I know, that might seem a little harsh! And if it stings a little for you, perhaps there is a morsel of truth in there?

    In fact, if your riding isn’t improving, this might be exactly what you need to finally shift from stuck to riding with purpose again.

    Whether you’re coming back to riding after a long break, working with your horse alone, or you’ve just fallen into the scroll-save-binge-repeat cycle of collecting riding content without actually using any of it, this is for you!  Let’s chat about what’s really holding your riding back. And how to change it, starting today.

    The “Learning Loop” That’s Slowing You Down

    We’re living in the ‘golden age’ of information. Just the other day, I was thinking about how, if I didn’t know the answer to something back in the 90s, getting answers could sometimes be quite the challenge!

    However, today, there are podcasts (hello to the Daily Strides Podcast for Equestrians), YouTube videos, ‘the Google’, blog posts, ChatGPT, downloadable PDFs, social media… And all just waiting, mere seconds away, at our fingertips.  And, let’s be honest, this can be great. I will happily admit that I have (and you have most likely as well) consumed a lot of it.  Things like:-

          • Saved dozens of riding exercises on your phone
          • Have piles of magazines with dog-eared articles,
          • Stacks of books with bookmarks or Post-it notes sticking out of random pages!
          • Nodded along to riding podcasts while mucking out
          • Made mental notes during webinars and masterclasses

    Putting Things into Practice

    And yet…. When it comes to the actual riding part?  It feels like things are not changing. You either freeze, overthink, or completely procrastinate on doing the things you ‘know’ you should do. And, because of that, your riding isn’t improving!

    It’s not that you don’t care, or that you’re lazy.  It’s that you’re stuck in the ‘content collecting’ trap. You’ve confused learning about riding with actually riding.

    I see it all the time, and I’ve been there myself.  It’s a sneaky little trap because it feels productive.  In fact, your mind gives you a little ‘boost’, making you ‘think’ that you’re actually doing something productive.

    I had to either find a good book, ask someone experienced, or figure it out through trial and error. Every option required time, effort, and action.But the fact of the matter is that learning alone doesn’t make you a better rider. Learning combined with doing does.

    How This Shows Up for Real Riders

    Let me share three stories from riders I’ve worked with inside Restart & Reschool Private Coaching. These are all lovely, dedicated horsewomen who made real progress, not by cramming more info into their heads! But by taking one uncomfortable (usually only in their head) but intentional action.

    My first rider began working with me feeling afraid! So anxious that she hadn’t even put her foot in the stirrup for over a year.  Her challenge wasn’t physical; it was emotional.  She told me that every time she even began to think about riding, the “what ifs” took over:

          • What if my horse spooks?
          • What if I fall again?
          • What if I’ve forgotten everything?

    She had all the theory.  In fact, she was regularly eventing with her previous horse ‘in a past life’. But a few unfortunate and unlucky falls had her stuck in the cycle of fear. And it wasn’t like she was not trying to overcome this. She’d listened to this podcast, written riding plans, practiced groundwork… So much groundwork! But she wasn’t riding.

    Stop Learning and Start Doing

    So, we worked on getting her out of her head and into action. Her first big action?  Figuring out what she wanted!   “I want to enjoy riding my horse again without anxiety.”  Fantastic :) So, now to begin with the tiny steps to make this happen. We started building small wins:

          • 5 minutes of groundwork
          • 10 minutes in the saddle
          • Staying on when her thoughts got loud

    This rider didn’t need more information. In fact, that was keeping her stuck. What she needed was actions to take through the fear. That’s what got her back in the saddle.

    ‘Knowing’ But Not ‘Feeling’

    Another rider I had the pleasure of working with recently really knew her stuff. In fact, she knew so much about all of the ‘things’ that her struggle was actually being present and ‘feeling’ how things were going when working with her horse. She was caught up in the ‘do this’ and ‘do that’ cycle of her aids and exercises.

    She showed me her notebooks full of exercises, and ‘ideas’ about how to get her horse to work in better contact… But in the saddle? She was 100% stuck in analysis paralysis!

    Her breakthrough came when I asked her to do less. I actually gave her Week 1 of the Original Returning to Riding Program, all about ‘feeling’ what is happening underneath you in the saddle (use THIS LINK to get 50% off the 6-week audio program), and told her to work on that – no more! Now, I could tell you that this all went well… But, in reality, she worked herself into a panic! “But if I’m not checking every second whether I’m doing it right, how do I know it’s right?!”

    I reminded her to trust the process… And, lo and behold, her horse began to soften! The ‘contact’ that she technically knew inside and out but that had been eluding her for years began to appear. Because she stopped overthinking – and simply allowed.

    More knowledge about the topic was not what she needed. It was being present in the ‘doing’ that helped her put the pieces together – after years of wondering why her riding isn’t improving! 

    The Value of Small Chunks of Time

    Then there is a rider who I can 100% see myself in. Her struggles are very similar to mine. We’ve got the horses, got the equipment, got the know-how… But it so often feels that time is not our friend! She actually would write on our 1 to 1 chat pretty regularly something along the lines of “I only have 20 minutes. Is it even worth it?”. My answer (which is advice I give myself pretty regularly), “YES! Let’s GO!”

    I think the issue here is that because she knows what she knows, and she has the physical resources to make things happen, she tends to get stuck in the trap of thinking that everything must be perfect and ‘correct’.

    It’s the knowledge of how things ‘could’ be that is holding her back from taking action when she perceives that anything is less than that. When all the ducks are not lining up perfectly…

    Her belief seems to be around, “If I can’t ride for 45 minutes, there’s no point.”.  The work became her challenging herself to rethink that. And, using all of the things that she ‘knows’ to make the best of 10 or 20 minutes when the opportunity presents itself. So we gave it a bash…

          • Walking bareback using legs and seat as the ‘starring role’ aids
          • Improving the rhythm of lateral work by practicing on the ground beside her horse
          • Apply some basic massage techniques to areas of her horse where she’s noticed stiffness or tightness

    And, I know, they might not seem like the most exciting suggestions initially; however, after just one week, she could see a huge change in how her partnership with her horse was developing. And rather than being all about the ‘competing’ and ‘working’, just being with her horse became fun and enjoyable again.

    “Those 10 minutes feel better than any 45-minute ride I’ve done in years. I’m focused. He’s listening. We’re actually connecting again.”

    This rider was allowing all that she already ‘knew’ to hold her back from taking actions that mattered. And, in the end, it became less about having more time and more about implementing what she already knew with purpose.  

    Riding Isn’t Improving? Take Action!

    I cannot stress to you enough how important this is. Stop waiting until everything is perfect. In fact, some of your best riding days will happen when things are definitely ‘less than’ how you would like them to be! And stop waiting until you ‘feel confident’. You’re only going to begin growing your confidence by doing. Not by learning more and worrying!

    Work on taking action and doing what you can with what you already know. Begin improving your ability to be present for it all. And then watch how things begin to shift and change for you and your horse. 

    Your Signature Ride Challenge

    So here’s your moment to do the same.  If you’ve been waiting for a sign, this is it!  The FREE Your Signature Ride Challenge is a simple, powerful way to have a whole lot of fun with your horse – while applying the things you already know.

    And the best part? You can complete it in one short ride, and then work on improving your outcome every ride thereafter! 

    The challenge is absolutely free and can be done in an arena or field (or a wide road?!). It’s for English and Western riders… And you don’t need anything other than your phone (with a free app on it), and your creativity :). When you sign up, you’ll receive:-

          • A free guided audio riding lesson
          • A printable workbook to help you plan ‘your signature’
          • A fun GPS-based challenge to “write your name” using mostly  your seat and leg aids

    There’s no pressure, just a fun activity to do with your horse while warming up and cooling down. Think of it as a way to relax, have fun, but also connect with your horse in a deeper way from the saddle. Sign up for FREE by CLICKING HERE

    Restart and Reschool

    And if you are looking for something more. My eyes on you and your horse, working together… Restart and Reschool Private Coaching might just be the thing for you. You’ll not only get the full ‘OTTB; From Racetrack to Ready Program’, but also fornightly private lessons with me to move you forward in your riding.

    We can work on anything you would like; from groundwork, to lunging, to riding, to jumping… With the virtual private lessons, we can do all of these things – and more.  If you would like to find out me, you can let me know a little more about you HERE and I will then reach back out and we can chat!

    This is the support, training, and accountability you’ve been missing to finally follow through and start seeing progress. No fluff. No overwhelm. And as flexible as you need for your lifestyle. 

    Whatever you decide, I’m going to challenge you this week to stop saving all of the exercises and movements! Stop spending all of your ‘horse time’ learning… And start doing! Get in action and get riding. Then, using the feedback you create for yourself, your next ‘learning session’ will actually be something you can put to use in your very next ride.

    Take action today and don’t let another week go by where you think about riding more than you ride.

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

    More on This Topic:-

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  • Stuck? Your 90-Day Riding Reset Starts Here!

    Let’s be honest — getting stuck in your riding or horse training journey can feel downright defeating. You’ve tried different approaches, experimented with new techniques. And you’ve even questioned if you’re the problem (hint: you’re not). And yet, nothing seems to be working. You’re on a plateau, staring at the same old view, wondering what the heck to do next.

    I’ve been there. And if you’re nodding along right now, this post is your sign to hit reset — with intention, structure, and a clear plan. I want to introduce you to something that changed everything for me: a 90-Day Reset.

    Not a vague “new start.” Not a burst of motivation that fades in a week. A proper, intentional 90-day commitment to shift the momentum in your riding, your horse’s training, and quite honestly, your life.

    Why a 90-Day Reset?

    There’s something powerful about committing to a timeframe that’s long enough to see real change, but short enough to feel achievable.  In my own experience, things had been spiraling a bit. October had arrived, and instead of celebrating progress, I was stuck deeper than ever. I felt exhausted, frustrated, and painfully aware of everything that wasn’t working.

    So, I made a decision: for 90 days, I would commit to a fresh start. I would set up boundaries, create a couple of rules. And I would show up – even on the days I didn’t feel like it.

    That 90-day commitment changed more than just a few routines. It changed my mindset, my energy, and the way I approached everything.  And I bet that if you take this same approach, you can use this to transform your riding as well.

    The Power of Simple Rules

    When you’re making a 90-day plan, the key isn’t to change everything overnight. First of all, that is not fun, and it will more than likely lead to burnout. And you are not actually following through. Instead, focus on simple, clear rules that move you toward your goal.

    These rules must be completely non-negotiable. This way, they will give you something to lean on when motivation is in short supply! My rules kept me moving forward when the initial excitement wore off (and trust me, it always does).

    You need the same kind of anchors in your riding.  What would your version of those rules look like?  3 schooling sessions each week, no excuses.  One groundwork session every 10 days.  No riding without a clear plan.  Weekly video review to track progress….   Whatever it is — choose it, write it down, and commit to it for 90 days.

    Resistance Will Show Up

    Here’s what nobody tells you when you commit to change: the resistance is part of the process.  There were days I wanted to quit. Days when sticking to the plan felt pointless, especially when I was not seeing initial results.  But I didn’t quit. I really do put this down to creating and following my rules!

    I was actually close to 6 weeks in before I saw any measurable improvement.  And then, on my birthday, a little past the halfway mark, things shifted!  I could see the progress, even if it wasn’t ‘great’. It was definitely there.

    And after sticking with it through thick and thin, that renewed sense of possibility is the magic of a 90-day commitment. It was like a burst of inspiration in the middle :)

    And you’ll get there too, but only if you don’t quit when it’s boring. Or hard. Or inconvenient. You’ve got to stick with it.  And those rules will help you to do that. Remember, it’s only for 90 days…

    For You & Your Horse

    We often think riding plateaus are about us.  Our motivation, our skills, our mindset. And that is somewhat true… But if you’ve been stuck for a while, chances are your horse is stuck too. He’s picking up on your frustration. Your inconsistency. Your lack of clarity.  Imagine what a 90-day reset could do for both of you.

    When you start showing up with intention, your horse responds. When you follow through on your plan, your horse learns to trust you again. You start to speak the same language. Progress becomes inevitable.

    Your 90-Day Plan: How to Start

    If you’re feeling inspired but unsure where to begin, start here:

        1. Define what “progress” looks like
          What do you want to be true by the end of these 90 days? Be specific. “Feel more confident” is too vague. Try “ride a full schooling session in the arena 3 times per week without freezing up” instead.

        2. Choose 3-5 rules that support that goal
          Make them clear. Make them simple. Make them non-negotiable.

        3. Write it all down — and put it somewhere visible
          Better yet, share it with someone who’ll hold you accountable. More on that in a second.

        4. Expect resistance, and plan for it
          What will you do on the days you don’t feel like riding? Or when the weather is awful? Have a plan.

        5. Celebrate milestones, not just the end result
          Track your progress. Reflect weekly. And give yourself credit for staying the course.

    You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

    If you want support while you work through this, I can absolutely help you with that. My Restart & Reschool Private Coaching Program is designed specifically for riders like you: those who are training on their own, without a regular instructor, and are ready to get things moving again.

    Here’s what’s inside:

          • Weekly virtual private horse riding lessons

          • Video reviews of your rides

          • Private 1 to 1 chat

          • Tailored training plans based on your horse and your goals

          • Flexible scheduling that works for real life

    This is about more than progress. It’s about confidence. Connection. Clarity.  If you’re ready to commit to your own 90-day restart and want guidance, reach out to me directly or visit www.stridesforsuccess.com.

    Share Your Riding Reset

    We have a wonderful (and supportive!) group of riders inside our private community at stridesforsuccess.com/group. If you’re planning your own 90-day reset, I’d love for you to share your rules and goals inside the group.  Maybe you’ll inspire another rider to do the same.

    Because here’s the truth: You don’t need another “tomorrow.”  You need structure. You need clarity. You need a finish line.  And, if you choose to, that can start today. Yep, right now! 

    Your 90-Day Riding Reset

    A 90-day reset won’t solve everything. However, maybe yours can be the catalyst for a complete shift in your riding and training.  It will create a container, a framework for you to work inside (there are those rules again)!

    This is a time for you to get honest, get focused, and get results.  If you’re stuck, see this as your invitation to begin again.  Make the plan. Set your rules. And, most importantly, commit to showing up. Especially when things get hard, you’re not seeing results, and you simply don’t feel like it.

    I’m cheering for you, and if you want a coach in your corner for the next 90 days, you know where to find me. Let’s make this quarter count.

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

    Related Resources, Links, and Topics

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  • Using Your Thoughts to Put Better Habits on Autopilot in Your Riding

    How often have you felt overwhelmed about remembering and doing all of the things when it comes to your riding? Perhaps you find yourself looking at more experienced riders and wondering “How do they do it?”. Maybe you feel at a loss because “As soon as I start with something different, it all falls apart.”.  Or for you it could just be “I just can’t remember to do all of the things at the same time!!!”. This is a very real part of the riding journey for all riders. It’s a phase you have to go through if you want to improve and succeed as a ‘rider’.

    Take a deep breath, because you’re definitely not alone. In fact, feeling overwhelmed, especially when you’re still learning all of the things is a natural part of the riding journey. Every single rider—yes, even those more experienced riders you admire—has faced these exact frustrations.

    One of the key differences between struggling riders and those who appear effortlessly successful comes down to one key thing: putting better habits on autopilot – and your thoughts can help you do just that…

    Why Thoughts Matters (Not Just in the Saddle!)

    Here’s the truth: your thoughts and how you think about your riding significantly influences how you ride. Your thoughts produce your emotions, which result in the actions you take.  And over time, those actions become habits! Which means putting better habits on autopilot is mental as much as it’s physical.

    And improving your thoughts isn’t simply about positive thinking; it’s about your automatic responses and mental habits, especially when things don’t go exactly as planned.

    Unfortunately, when you become stressed or feel overwhelmed while riding, your brain will naturally resort back to autopilot – which means that if you have not set up good ‘mental’ habits, the result is probably not what you want.

    If your habits in general are not actively helping you through these stressful situations, things will begin to go sideways – fast! However, when you begin to intentionally create helpful mental habits, put better habits on autopilot, chances are that you’ll be much more successful in handling the challenges that come up. Both mentally and physically.

    And, here’s something to get excited about, you don’t have to wait until you’re sitting on your horse to start! You can begin creating and developing better, more useful mental habits today – any time and any where.

    Consistency: Your Thought’s Friend

    Becoming a rider who feels confident in your own abilities to positively influence your horse, no matter the situation, requires practice. Regular, consistent practice of the right things.

    It’s only by doing this over and over again that you will begin seeing what perhaps initially felt difficult to practice, become easier – and over time become automatic. 

    Think about it this way: confident, successful riders don’t spend their entire ride thinking about their posture, their aids, or their balance. They have already devoted time to putting better habits on autopilot because they practiced the right things consistently until they became second nature.

    This simple fact then frees up their attention to focus on other things – usually how to become a more positive influence on their horse and developing how well they are working together. 

    Putting Better Habits on Autopilot – Now

    Ready to start changing your riding experience? Here’s a straightforward exercise to help you begin developing better mental habits:

    1. Identify a Trigger:

      Start by identifying one thing that consistently triggers a less-than-ideal reaction in your riding. It could be your horse speeding up, asking for a transition into canter, working over ground poles, your balance shifting unexpectedly, or even negative self-talk like “I’ll never get this right.”

    2. Visualize the Situation Clearly:

      Once you have identified one single thing to work on, imagine you’re watching a video of yourself riding.  Think Start your ‘video’ from a point where everything is going well. Then, let the “video” play until it reaches the moment when things start to go sideways. Watch closely. What exactly is happening?

    3. Slow Down the Replay:

      Replay your video again, but this time, slow everything down. Notice what physically changes right before things go wrong. Maybe you tense your shoulders, lean forward, hold your breath, or even start gripping with your knees.  The key here is to really get clear on exactly what you’re doing that causes things to go ‘sideways’.

    4. Think of Alternatives:

      Now, and this is important, intentionally think of different ways you could respond, use, or move your body in that situation. If you usually tense up, imagine yourself taking a deep breath, expanding through your body and then letting the tension release with it as you breath out.

      Maybe you know that just before transitions, you have a tendency to lean forward. This time, rather think about lengthening and elongating through your body. Imagine yourself sitting tall and balanced. You might even draw inspiration from another rider who handles similar situations confidently.

    5. Replace and Replay: Putting the Better Habits on Autopilot! 

      Now, once you have an alternative that works, begin replaying your mental video over again. But this time you’re replacing whatever it is that you usually do with a new, intentional response. I’m going to be honest, this can be difficult initially – take it slowly. One step at a time.

    Once you have it ‘created’ in your head, try to replay it a few times until it begins to feel ‘real’. This is where you are beginning to believe that it’s possible. And your mind must believe it if your body is to make it happen. 

    Struggle with Visualization?

    If visualization is challenging, don’t worry! There are other ways of making this happen.

        1. Write down the steps; like a story. What is now happening and then what you want to happen. The key is to add as much detail in here as possible.  Reread it over to yourself numerous times.
        2. Talk through the situation. I have found that talking to my horse helps here. Especially when I’m in the ‘thick of it’. I simply tell my horse what I usually do – in great detail. And then I begin telling them about what I’m going to do differently and change this time. I also include how this will play out or result in a different outcome for both of us. This has the added benefit of keeping you breathing as well!
        3. Watch an actual video of yourself doing the thing that you want to change. Then watch a video of another rider handing the same situation in a much more effective and positive way. Over time, from paying close attention to what the other rider is doing to get the better result, you will begin to change your actions as well.

    “But it ‘Feels’ Uncomfortable!” Good :)

    Here’s something crucial to remember: it’s okay to feel mentally uncomfortable as you go through this process. Honestly highlighting the parts of your riding that you’d rather keep hidden is not going to be easy or feel good! Mentally you might find yourself squirming! Embarrassed or frustrated are also common feelings to experience.

    However, that discomfort is just temporary—it won’t last forever. And it’s mental – not physical. What is exciting to realize is that feeling this way is a great indicator that you’re actually making progress!

    Hiding or burying all of the things that are holding you back as a rider is wasting your time – as well as your horses and your instructors! Be brave and face up to the things. Every rider has these things. Once you can see them for what they are – habits that are no longer serving you – you can let all of that shame or annoyance about them fade away.

    You’re simply choosing to replace outdated habits with ones that actually serve you at this point in your riding. 

    Your Action Step for Today

    Pick one trigger today and run it through this process. Commit just 10 minutes to intentionally practicing your new better habit to put on autopilot. Set a timer if it helps. The goal is to do this consistently, making these responses second nature and putting your mindset firmly on autopilot.

    Anything that you physically do that has a bit of a repetitive rhythm or sequence to it can really help this to stick for you.

    I find driving or walking to be great times to do this type of work. So too is mucking out, grooming, ironing, folding clothes, gardening… The options are endless. The question is, are you willing to do the work?

    Take the Next Step—Join the Waitlist!

    Ready to truly transform your riding experience? Make sure you pop your name onto the waitlist for the upcoming Returning to Riding Program. This is where you get to identify what’s going on with your riding (both what’s working and what’s not) and then begin working on ways to improve.

    The program is there to help you transform from being a passenger in the saddle, to showing up as a confident, consistent rider who can begin working on how to positively influence your horse.

    When you sign up for the waitlist, you’ll be the first to receive details about my exclusive new live webinar, designed to give you actionable insights and inspiration you can start using immediately. Join the Returning to Riding Waitlist HERE

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

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  • Learning to Identify Unhelpful Thoughts in Your Riding

    Learning to Identify Unhelpful Thoughts in Your Riding

    Have you ever noticed how quickly things can shift from good to tense during a ride? One moment you’re feeling relaxed and confident, and the next, you realize that your shoulders have crept up to your ears, your hands are gripping onto those reins for dear life, and, maybe, you’ve forgotten to breath for a few seconds too long!

    Rather than just accepting that your body is doing it’s own thing – and not what you want, this is the perfect opportunity to begin asking yourself “What’s going on here?”. “What thought caused this reaction in my body?”

    Because, while you might think that these things just happen; leaning forward on every canter transition, or curling up like a hamster when a dog barks while out for a hack; they are a reaction. Your body is reacting to your thoughts about the situation. Yes, these physical responses aren’t random—they’re usually triggered by your thoughts. Thoughts that we often don’t even realize we are having!

    Today, we’re going to explore how to identify these unhelpful thoughts and, importantly, how you can shift them to create positive change in your riding.

    Your ‘Thought-Body’ Connection

    Let’s start by addressing something important that is often overlooked: your mind and body are closely connected. Every thought you have while riding has the potential to trigger a physical response in your body, even if you’re not consciously aware of it. So most of the physical reactions your body has in the saddle is down to the thoughts going through your mind. Most of which are unconscious!

    Think about it: have you ever anticipated something going wrong while riding? Maybe you were worried about how that canter transition was going to play out. Or you began nervously wondering how your horse was going to react to the wheelie bin that you can see ahead on your hack. While it’s always a good idea to be aware of different potentials.

    The trouble begins when we ‘brace’ ourselves for trouble; your mind creating a physical reaction in your body. And once your body tenses up, your horse inevitably picks up on it, too. Your thoughts literally shape your experience in the saddle.

    To ride confidently and effectively, you must first become aware of what thoughts are guiding your actions.

    Identifying Unhelpful Thoughts in Your Riding

    Take a moment right now and think about your most recent ride. Was there a specific moment when things didn’t feel right? Perhaps your horse felt tense, your balance seemed off, or your rhythm faltered. What thoughts crossed your mind right before this happened?

    Now, to be clear, the potential here for ‘those’ thoughts to crop up is infinite! There are just so many ways that riders can self-sabotage their riding with their own thoughts. Here are a few that you might have experienced:-

        • “I’m going to mess this up again.”
        • “We ALWAYS struggle to get this part right.”
        • “My horse is already too tense; this isn’t going to end well!”
        • “Oh sugar – I can’t remember everything I’m supposed to do!”
        • “I’m not able to handle this situation!”
        • “Oh no, he HATES dogs – there’s no way we’re going to get past this gate!”

    Each of these thoughts creates an emotional reaction, and not a good one! We’re talking more like anxiety, frustration, or fear. And these less than great emotions usually go on to produce a domino like effect throughout our body. The negative or ‘unconscious’ thought creates a physical reaction.

    As you well know, the physical reaction that is created rarely helps the situation! Gripping with your knees, collaposing through your upper body, straight elbows, looking down, tensing your shoulders, leaning forward, holding your breath… The list goes on and on.

    And, unfortunately, all of these less than great reactions have the dubious result of making it nearly impossible to ride well!  Never good when you’re faced with a situation that you’re already uncertain about! 

    Becoming aware of your thoughts is your first big step toward changing them.

    Get Curious – Ask Yourself Why

    Okay, so once you’ve identified the thoughts that tend to show up unannounced, uninvited, and unwelcomed in your mind; it’s time to dig deeper… Instead of immediately trying to push these thoughts away, get curious about them. Ask yourself honestly:

        • “Is this thought actually true?”
        • “Can this thought and another, more helpful, thought be true at the same time?”
        • “Is there another way this situation can play out in this moment?”
        • “How does this thought affect my body and my riding?”
        • “Where can I ‘feel’ this thought in my physical body – where is the excessive tension?”
        • “What might be a more helpful way to look at this situation?”

    This curiosity shifts your perspective and reduces the emotional charge. When you observe your thoughts without judgment, you begin to see them as habits rather than absolute truths.

    Keep in mind, you are doing this work OFF of your horse – not mounted up. So make sure that you really give yourself the space, quiet, and opportunity to really imagine and experience this thought so you can begin to change it…

    For example, the thought “My horse is already too tense; this isn’t going to end well!” might feel real at first. But rather than simply accepting that as a given, ask yourself honestly: does excess tension automatically mean disaster? Probably not! There are lot’s of ways to work on helping to release or dissipate tension. Often just realizing this can help shift your mindset into one of possibility instead of dread.

    Intentionally Replace Thoughts

    Changing your mental habits takes time. And it starts with getting creative and choosing new, more helpful thoughts that your mind can go to when things don’t feel great.  I also think that it’s worth mentioning that some thoughts are absolutely there to help keep you safe.

    This is where good old ‘positive thinking’ is not the goal. You want to think more practical thoughts. It’s an added bonus if they turn out to be positive!  

    So, take time to write down the repeating thought that is causing the reaction in your body. Then think about how you can replace it with something more useful, helpful, or practical.  The new thought that you offer your mind must also be believable! Don’t skip that!

        • Instead of: “I’m going to mess this up again.”
          Try: “It’s okay if this is not 100% perfect, I’m learning and mistakes are part riding.”

        • Instead of: “My horse is already too tense; this isn’t going to end well!”
          Try: “My horse feels quite tense; let’s take a deep breath together, connect physically through my voice and touch, and work on feeling more relaxed together”

    The new thought doesn’t need to feel perfect straight away. But it absolutely must be something that your mind can believe is at least a tiny within the realm of possibilities. This way it can commit to genuinely giving it a go.

    If you create a new thought and your mind immediately goes to ‘No way is that going to work” or “I can’t do that as a rider”, that thought is a step too far. Keep tweaking until you find something you can believe. The more you practice the believable new thought, the easier it will be for your mind to go there when things feel ‘shaky’.

    Link Your Thoughts to Your Actions

    The final piece of the rewiring those thoughts puzzle is to find an action you can link to that specific new thought. There is a tendency to go too big here; focus on small little things that don’t require a huge physical effort from you – but will still be helpful in the moment.

        • When you begin to feel physically anxious, intentionally focus on your breathing – especially your exhale as you mentally say, “Relax, we’ve got this.”
        • When you notice that you are beginning to tense up, deliberately unclench your jaw, roll down your shoulders from your ears, and soften your grip on the reins while saying, “I’m releasing the excess tension now.”
        • When doubt creeps in, consciously drop the weight into your heels, open up through your chest, and lengthen your spine, repeating the thought, “I am able to handle this and I am showing up ready to do just that”

    Doing this repeatedly creates a powerful new connection between your mind and body. Over time, this becomes your new autopilot. This will be where you mind goes to during those moments of doubt, insecurity, fear, or whatever other emotion that is not helping you at that moment in your riding.

    They key is to practice linking your new thought to a specific physical action while out of the saddle, and then slowly begin working on it while in the saddle as well. 

    Feels Uncomfortable? Keep Going :)

    Look, let’s be honest here. Nobody enjoys intentionally thinking about things that don’t make them feel good! And yet, this is often the exact work that is required to get things moving in our minds and our bodies. Tension can and will become stuck over time. By intentionally shining a light on it, you can begin to move it along.

    Initially, this can not only feel uncomfortable, but even embarrassing! Sometimes we know that the thought our mind has chosen to believe is actually ridiculous! And that is completely normal as well. Again, your mind just wants to keep you safe. Sometimes a tall tale is the way to make that happen ;)

    By being really honest with yourself, you will begin to uncover the real reasons behind challenges in your riding. Acknowledge your feelings. Identify each one and then commit to moving it one so that it can no longer hold you back.

    Remember, every rider – no matter how experienced – has faced similar mental hurdles. You’re not alone, you won’t be the first, and you certainly won’t be the last… It’s all part of becoming a more skilled rider :)

    The good news is that any mental discomfort you might feel will be temporary. Once you put your conscious spotlight on your stuck thought patterns, they begin to shift, and this allows you to create new more aligned habits in your mind.

    Your Action Step Today

    So, that all being said, let’s find a way that you can begin to put this into action right now that will help to positively impact your riding going forward…

        • Identify one specific unhelpful repetitive thought that shows up fairly often in your riding.
        • Rewrite it into one clear, helpful alternative thought.
        • Pair this new thought with a simple physical action that supports it, such as breathing deeply or dropping the weight into your heels.
        • Practice this consistently; first out of the saddle for five to ten minutes a day.
        • Later, as you feel the energy shift, you can work on this while in the saddle as well.

    Rewiring how your mind works will take time… But it is well worth the effort because it’s the small, intentional shifts in your thoughts and actions will help to transform your riding over time.

    The goal is consistency, not perfection. You might find that your mind has a lot of resistance to things initially. That’s okay. Don’t make it mean anything. Again, just try to notice the thoughts and then let your intention be to choose better, more supportive ones.

    Happy Riding,
    Lorna

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  • Getting Back in the Saddle; Can Things Be Even BETTER Than Before?

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    Nostalgia is a funny thing. It often causes us to look back at or reminisce about past experiences with rose-tinted glasses. And your horse riding journey is no different. Especially when you’re thinking about getting back in the saddle after a significant breakaway.

    When you remember all of the adventures you’ve already had when it comes to horses and riding, it can sometimes leave you questioning if there’s any way it could ever hope to be like that again… 

    And that doubt over how good getting back in the saddle could be is one of the big reasons riders never take the next action. They don’t go out and tack up. Or they stop exploring riding clubs, or schools that are nearby. And that is such a shame…

    While you’re paused because you’re worrying if a new riding experience could possibly measure up to ‘what was’ for you before; you’re missing out on the very real possibility that things could actually be even better. 

    Today I want to explore how this is a very real (and even more probable) out come for you if you finally take the plunge and take action on getting back in the saddle after a break.

    A Deeper Appreciation

    We’re told that ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder. I find this is almost always true when it comes to riding. However, I have also seen and personally experienced how often it’s only when we actually make the move, and take the action, that we feel this way.  It’s not until we move from thinking about getting back in the saddle to actually riding that we tend to really understand and appreciate what we were really missing all of that time.

    And when that realisation of ‘missing out’ is coupled with a more life-experienced you, this will almost always lead to a deeper appreciation for not only your horse but also for yourself as a rider.

    I’ve seen over and over how dedicated returning riders are to both their riding and the time allocated for riding. There is an increased focus, a clearer intention, and an increased curiosity about what they’re doing and how. They really see their riding time as special. They realize how privileged they are to actually get to have a conversation with and develop a partnership with a horse. It’s magic!

    A Keen Curiosity

    This brings me to the second reason your getting back into the saddle might just surpass all of your past experiences with riding; you are curious to find out more about it. So often, when we learn to ride initially, we tend to rush through the early lessons. We are so keen to do everything that we skip as fast as possible through the basics to get to the ‘exciting’ stuff. Coming back to riding often has the opposite effect on us.

    We want to know ‘why’ things work that way. Is there a different or better way to do things. What would happen if we applied our aids in a different way or situation. And just how to use the basics for better overall development…

    This curiosity is what really guides us to become more skilled in the saddle because we begin understanding ‘why’. It is really the catalyst to going from ‘medicore’ to great as a horse person. And even if our body is not what it was originally when we rode, by staying curious, we learn how to work with what we have now. And often this can develop our skills past all of our previous expectations.

    A Fresh Start

    Unfortunately, many riders leave riding initially because they just are not enjoying it or having fun. When you begin to think about getting back in the saddle, you can start rewriting your expectations and your story about being a rider. If confidence became an issue for you originally, you can come back to ‘riding’ with a strong focus on groundwork and partnership. Over time, that will lead to confident riding again – if that’s what you want.

    A fresh start also allows you to let go of old stories that held you back… Maybe about time or resources. Or even about your abilities as a rider; what you can or cannot do.

    Getting back in the saddle let’s you start a new story – one that better aligns with you as you are right now. 

    And if the ‘old you’ had certain habits that you would have been better without, the break from riding and then coming back to it is the perfect time to rid yourself of them. Your body and your mind will be much more malleable now to doing things differently. Take full advantage of this and make any changes that you wanted to make back then but struggled with.

    A Stronger Connection

    Finally, as you return to riding after your break, I can almost guarantee that you will begin to create a stronger connection and partnership with your horse. There is something that happens to most of us with the passage of time. A greater appreciation for each individual we meet along our path. And this applies to our animals and horses as well.

    Getting back into the saddle after a longer break often opens riders up to just how much their connection to their horse is energy based. They tend to allow themselves to be more intuitively guided when it comes to their interactions with their horse. 

    Less emphasis is put on ‘doing things right’ and more is placed on ‘doing this together’. This will always lead to a greater respect; for the rider for their horse, and the horse for their rider. This connection is often what will get you through any speed wobbles when it comes to questioning if getting back in the saddle was the right decision.

    Over all, getting back in the saddle often becomes less about riding – and more about developing a deep trusting bond with your horse… Which is magic in itself. 

    Getting Back in the Saddle

    So, I’m hoping that if you’ve been on the fence about getting back in the saddle, I’ve helped to steer you closer to the ‘yes, I’m ready’ camp! Which is to actually do something. Take the next action! Let’s be honest, there are lots of actions you can take to get the ball rolling…

    However, I’m going to give you 3 specific things to choose from today:-

        1. Prepare Your Equipment & Space:- Start small and use your efforts here to inspire you to do more… I’ve got a free resource you can use that gives you a list of things you can do around the yard (or with your horse) when you find yourself with 15 minutes or less https://stridesforsuccess.com/15
        2. Groundwork Session with Your Horse:- Spend time reconnecting with your horse on the ground. This helps rebuild trust, establish communication, and get a feel for each other’s energy before riding. The Connection Partnership Program is a great way to add some structure to your time – while improving your aids for when you are back in the saddle again. Find out more at https://stridesforsuccess.com/cpp
        3. Lunging Session with Your Horse:- You can take things a step further by getting into the arena and working on 12 minutes of intentional lunging. I have a training to get you started, including audio horse riding lessons to follow for the first 3 lunging sessions together. You can get that for free at https://stridesforsuccess.com/3days

    Choose one of the above actions today, and commit to getting started in the coming 7 days. Then pop over to the Daily Strides Podcast Facebook Community and let me know what you’re planning on doing to kick start your journey back to regular riding again :)

    Happy Riding
    Lorna

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